5 NFL Players & Teams Who Would Benefit from Dez Bryant Rules
Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant has all the talent in the world, but as the 23-year-old's numerous off-the-field issues have demonstrated, he just can't seem to stay out of his own way.
The Cowboys are taking steps to remedy this, instituting a set of personal conduct guidelines that are rapidly gaining the moniker "The Dez Bryant Rules."
No one's sure exactly what these rules are, but according to Tim MacMahon of ESPN, they include "a midnight curfew unless team officials were notified in advance, bans on drinking alcohol and attending strip clubs, twice-a-week counseling sessions and a rotating three-man security team whose duties would include driving Bryant to and from practices, games and all team functions."
Apparently Bryant asked for help, telling the Cowboys that he needed "guidance," and here's a look at a group of NFL players and teams that use some rules of their own.
Whether they want them or not.
Kenny Britt, WR, Tennessee Titans
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Oh my goodness where to begin?
According to Paul Kuharsky of ESPN, since wide receiver Kenny Britt entered the NFL in 2009 he's been in trouble with the law for:
1.) Outstanding traffic warrants and falsifying information on his driver's license application
2.) A bar fight in Nashville that resulted in a lawsuit
3.) Driving without a license
4.) Evading police (I don't know if he had his license while doing so, but let's go with "no")
5.) Resisting arrest after being stopped for suspicion of marijuana possession
6.) Drunk driving
I have the first "rule" for Kenny Britt all worked out for the Titans.
1.) Give up your car keys.
Marshawn Lynch, RB, Seattle Seahawks
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Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch rumbled his way to a career year in 2011, setting personal bests in both rushing yards and touchdowns that landed him a fat contract extension with which he can buy buckets full of Skittles.
Unfortunately, Lynch apparently enjoyed his newly-found wealth a little too much, as the 26-year-old was one of an alarming number of NFL stars who were arrested over the summer for driving under the influence.
On the heels of a 2008 incident in which Lynch pleaded guilty to a traffic violation and admitted to driving off after hitting a female pedestrian with his car in Buffalo, and a 2009 dust-up where a loaded gun was found in his car in California, Lynch is another player who would benefit from this rule.
1.) No driving. Not to Piggly Wiggly. Not to Circle K. And definitely not to "the club."
Jerome Simpson, WR, Minnesota Vikings
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Speaking of career highs.
Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Jerome Simpson was recently released from jail in Kentucky and will serve a three-game suspension as a result of pleading guilty to a felony drug charge after being found in possession of two pounds of marijuana...
That he had shipped to his house.
Luckily for Simpson, the charge of illegally parking a semi filled with Cheetos and Pop-Tarts across the street were dropped.
Rule No. 1 for Jerome: No UPS, FedEx, Airborne, nothin'.
The Detroit Lions
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It would be unfair to single out any one player on the Detroit Lions as needing a special set of personal conduct rules, since half the team has been arrested since the 2011 season ended.
OK, so I'm exaggerating...a little.
Not only have several Lions players had run-ins with the law, but cornerback Aaron Berry (who has since been released), defensive tackle Nick Fairley and running back Mikel Leshoure (suspended the first two games of the 2012 season) all double-dipped and were arrested twice.
Rule No. 1 for the Lions: The entire team is grounded.
And no, Mikel, you cannot have a "package" delivered to your room.
Now put down those Cheetos.
The New York Jets
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Finally, we have the New York Jets, the team that put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
You would think that after a miserable 8-8 2011 season filled with turmoil and discord that the Jets would have learned their lesson, but apparently the lesson the team took away from last year was that they should gumflap more.
As NBC New York recently pointed out, whether it's Santonio Holmes' seeming inability to keep his cakehole closed, cornerback Antonio Cromartie proclaiming himself the second-best wide receiver on the team or Mark Sanchez throwing his wideouts under the bus in comments made to Rich Cimini of ESPN, the Jets turn on one another faster than most reality show contestants.
It's no wonder they can't score. They're too busy talking.
Rule No. 1 for the Jets: SHUT...UP.