It's that time of year. The infields are being groomed. The outfields are being mowed. Fans are itching for the first pitches of the season and players are anxiously awaiting getting back out to the game they love (to get paid for).
With so much happening, it's a good time to go over some tips for players on how to handle whatever scenario may come their way.
Tip No. 1: How to rush the pitcher's mound.
Scenario: You want to start off the season by making a statement. You step up to the plate and lean in, just a little bit. It isn't taunting, it's just showing the pitcher that the plate is yours, and they are going to have to work to strike out out. The pitcher however, seems to disagree with your idea that the plate belongs to you and has the audacity to pitch the first one high and inside. What do you do?
Reaction: After dramatically hitting the dirt with more flourish and fanfare than an NBA player looking for a charging foul, you stand up, never letting your eyes break contact with the pitcher. And, a la-Tom Berenger in Major League, opt to not dust the dirt off. Step directly back into the batter's box in the same position as before. The plate is yours. Don't back down.
Action: The pitcher once again doesn't feel that your claim of ownership is valid and pitches yet another one inside. Not high this time, but enough so to make your hips jut backwards like to overly-heterosexual males embarrassed in a hug.
Reaction: Here is where it gets complicated, so pay attention. The common mistake that most players make is that they take the time to throw their helmet off before rushing the mound.
This is incorrect because it takes precious moments that could be used in attacking the bastard that just launched a 95 mph heater at your crotch. Instead, it is best to take a page from the book of Izzy Alcantara of the Pawtucket Red Sox.
For those of you unfamiliar with the name, you may still recognize the action thanks to sites like rumblevids.com and YouTube. The first thing you want to do is kick the catcher, preferably in the chest pad. This is to effectively neutralize the person that could stop you in your pursuit of the pitcher as well as get revenge on the guy that might have called for the pitch.
Warning: Practice this kick at home. The chest pad is your best bet because it will shift the catcher's center of gravity enough to knock him over, without causing serious injury. Aim for the sternum and don't kick at full power. Overly aggressive kicks may land in the face mask, getting your cleats stuck and possibly assuring a lawsuit.
Action: With the catcher now on his back and out of the way and the pitcher stunned by such a brazen attack, he throws his glove in an effort to slow your path of destruction.
Reaction: Don't worry. While major league pitchers can hit a dime with a baseball, their aim is surprisingly bad with their gloves, as they will not have time for a proper wind up. At worst, the glove will hit you in the feet, slowing your progress.
Action: The pitcher backs off and both benches clear.
Reaction: If within range, go for an MMA superman punch. Avoid kicks as they show poor sportsmanship with their risk of permanent damage. The superman punch will also be harder to defend as most pitchers won't know what the hell is going on.
We're going to send you the most entertaining New York Mets articles, videos, and podcasts from around the web.
2 Comments
Loading more comments...
This comment and all replies have been deleted This comment has been deleted Undo delete