Mr. Ken Griffey Jr., you should have taken steroids. All of your peers ravaged through mounds of steroids in hopes to be the greatest ballplayer of all-time.
Barry Bonds had a career filled with athleticism and defense. He earned eight Gold Gloves and did it presumably without steroids. As Bonds' career started to hit a down slope with a future of injuries and lower numbers on the horizon, Bonds made the decision to juice.
Mr. Ken Griffey Jr., you could have been the one smashing all of these records. You could have been the one to win four straight MVPs from 2001 to 2004.
Instead, you sat in Cincinnati rotting away from injuries as your numbers plummeted. Even when you did play, you batted around .250 rather than your glorious days of above .300. Steroids would have been the magic answer.
Steroids aren’t so bad, Mr. Griffey. Think of them as little shots of happiness making your body smile. Hell, my Grandma’s been on steroids, and she could have made the minors.
Your career was slipping away, and you could have made the decision many athletes already made—become a juicer and become LEGENDARY.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!