Appearances Matter in the NBA

Walter Gibson www.dbbsports.comContributor IFebruary 26, 2009

For the record, I’m not a fan of the cheap shot. There are plenty of opportunities to take someone out with a clean shot in most sports, so the cheap shot is, well, cheap.

‘Even “unintentional” cheap shots are cheap’

Also for the record, it was NOT a cheap shot when Reggie Dunlop taunted Tommy Hanrahan. Hanrahan’s wife, Suzanne, was, in fact, a lesbian. She DID suck pussy. Dunlop was merely stating a simple fact.

So I don’t want to hear anyone accuse me of taking cheap shots at a certain sports news organization which shall remain nameless,  but their last two initials are PN and their first two initials are ES, in case you’re wondering.

Besides, I’m happy to give this unnamed organization props when deserved, for example when they asked Manny Ramirez a very pertinent question: “Think you’ll be a DH this time, or just continue to be a DH who stands in left?” Just a shame they didn’t have the balls to ask him to his face.

Anyway, what I have to say about this organization is not cheap, it’s simple fact. And any organization that runs a story on Kim Kardashian deserves to get shit.

By all means, show pictures of her. Naked. Naked alone. Naked with another woman. Naked with many other women.

But a story? An interview?! Yes, Kim’s father represented a famous athlete (O.J. Simpson). Yes, her mother fucked a famous athlete (Bruce Jenner).

And, yes, she herself is currently fucking a famous athlete (Reggie Bush). But none of that actually makes Kim an athlete. Unless of course being a social prostitute is a new sport.

‘Kim Kardashian is more child than athlete – she should be seen and not heard’

Anyway, I shouldn’t be surprised to see said organization run said story. After all, they just ran a story about whether or not good-looking quarterbacks make more money.

I’m happy to leave the evaluation of which quarterbacks are good-looking to the Kim Whoredashians of the world. It leaves me time to reflect upon more important questions about physical appearance in the NBA.

For starters, do cornrows make you a better free throw shooter? Possibly. But definitely not if your name is Ben Wallace.

‘Cornrows are much better for gangster rappers than free throw shooters’

How about afros? Do they make you a better shot blocker? Yes. Both Ben Wallace and Irwin Fletcher prove that an afro in the paint is a lethal defensive weapon.

‘Why the afro is the defense of choice in the NBA’

And tattoos … do they make you a better shot blocker? Actually, no. Despite Dennis Rodman’s famous shot blocking skills, it turns out it was all in the shorts.

‘Shorts are for shot blockers and tattoos are for drummers’

Lastly, what about masks? Do they make you a better ball handler? Yes. But they also make you look stupid.

‘Rip is good at handling basketballs and Batman at handling Robin’s balls’

For more, visit (Real Guys Holding Sports Accountable), or if you think A-Rod is innocent, visit <> .