San Francisco Giants' Melky Cabrera Continues to Become More Pathetic

Brian BuckleyContributor IIJanuary 20, 2017

It gives me no joy to once again touch on the idiocy of Melky Cabrera, as my thoughts about his “breakout” year are already on the record.

But the bumbling and stumbling Cabrera camp have done their best to upstage Melky mentor Alex Rodriguez’s PED refusal/place-blame/acceptance fiasco.

A-Rod eventually implicated his cousin and some supplement or drug called “bole.”  Yes, because athletes never have any idea what they put in their temple of a body.

“Whatever doc, just give me something. I’m sure it’s good for me.”

Cabrera and his people were determined not to fall into a repeat of Rodriguez’s substance media circus.  They decided to go a different route, skip the cousin-blaming and make up their own drug with a fugazy website along with it.

According to the New York Daily News, Cabrera and his associates created a fake Internet address with a non-existent drug, so that he could be exonerated of his positive drug test under the MLB drug program. 

Man, I wish I could have seen the website:, perhaps?

It’s pretty obvious the Cabrera camp was trying to find an out through MLB’s clause that allows all players to “rely on a clause in the collectively bargained drug program that allows a player who has tested positive to attempt to prove he ingested a banned substance through no fault of his own.”

Make up a drug and a website and voila, I’m innocent!  Maybe

Oh, poor naive Melky.  He probably figured if technicalities worked for last year’s NL MVP Ryan Braun, why not give it a whirl?

In the end, he cheated all of us and was set on doing anything to skirt the repercussions.  Constructing fake websites is a new low in the war on drugs in baseball.  The line of steroid excuses is long and pathetic: B-12 shots, bole, UPS refrigeration protocol and now taking on the World Wide Web as an out.

What’s the next reason for a positive test?  I’d make a joke here, but because the most recent steroid dramas were so ridiculous, who knows what the future holds for BS explanations?

Honestly, I’m not mad at Melky.  I’m just disappointed in him, which we all know is code for being even madder than the originally stated madness. 

I’d say thanks for the memories, Melky, but honestly now, “You’re Just Somebody That I Used to Know.”

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