Annoying NBA Stars Power Rankings, Post-Dwightmare Edition
Dwight Howard needs to stop smiling.
After the damage he's done, he should at least pretend to have some compunction about how everything went down. He's been nothing short of fake for the duration of the season. Why stop now?
But, of course, D12 isn't the league's only annoying player. He's just the one most likely to get your blood boiling at this particular moment in time. From chronic complainers to over-exuberant celebrators, this league is full of guys who almost certainly rub someone the wrong way.
Couldn't we all just be a little more like Derrick Rose?
Here are the 10 guys I can't stand. Who do you have on your list?
10. James Harden
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Am I the only one who thinks the beard is just excessive?
It's pure hipster novelty, and there's already more than enough of that going around this league. When did Portland quietly begin colonizing life as we know it one post-game press conference at a time.
There's nothing less Indy than professional basketball.
What really got me going was watching this guy flail through the paint during the playoffs and get call after call after call. Harden isn't the only one who does it, obviously. He's just the latest one to make a living doing it.
No one has to actually get fouled anymore.
You just have to throw your arms up, and it's two free throws.
9. Kobe Bryant
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Kobe Bryant will go down in history as one of the all-time greats, and for good reason.
He should also go down in history as one of the all-time great complainers. Kobe probably talks to the refs more than he talks to his own teammates. The worst part of it is that he's been no stranger to the foul line throughout his career.
Less-heralded athletes would love to get the calls this guy gets.
It's never been good enough for Bryant, though. Clearly the refs have been out to get the Los Angeles Lakers all these years.
8. Metta World Peace
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I miss the old Ron Artest.
That guy may have been a head-case, but there was something authentic about it.
Los Angeles has turned the guy into a fake. When he wanted to elbow someone 10 years ago, there was no doubt he meant to do it. Now, he acts like it's an accident.
It was also frustrating to watch this guy start making three-pointers at the end of the season while acting like he meant to do it after playing terribly for the rest of the season. We'll see if that happens again.
7. Dirk Nowitzki
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Dirk Nowitzki has made a long career of complaining to the officials. Given the number of friendly calls this guy has gotten, it's awfully hard to understand why.
More annoyingly, Dirk makes the same face almost every time he scores a basket, a sort of furrowed brow saying, "Yah that's right I just hit that jump short."
You'd think he were angry about something or just got a whiff of something stinky. But apparently, it's Dirk's way of communicating that he's really proud of himself for doing a good job. We're proud of you too, Dirk. You don't have to remind us.
6. Blake Griffin
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The Kia commercials alone earn Blake Griffin a spot on this list.
Don't play funk, Blake. Just play some defense.
It's also annoying that this guy has already become so beloved when, thus far, he's little more than a glorified Shawn Kemp. Sure, he's fun to watch, but he's not as skilled of a player as his mans make him out to be.
The worst part about Griffin though is that he acts like he's fouled every single time down the court. That gets old in its own right, but it's especially aggravating when a guy who's accomplished so little by NBA superstar standards is the one doing it.
5. Amar'e Stoudemire
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Even before he started punching inanimate objects, Amar'e Stoudemire was plenty annoying.
He's always been an incessant celebrator, and he's rarely had good reason for it. Yes, he's thrown down some great dunks in his day. Congratulations.
But Stoudemire has always been a one-dimensional player who barely tried on the defensive end. There's a reason the Phoenix Suns were never able to get over the hump during their prime years, and Amar'e had a lot to do with it.
Instead of acting like he was all that, he should have been getting back on defense.
4. Dwyane Wade
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It's bad enough that Dwyane Wade walks around the court with an incessantly bad attitude. He always looks like he just suffered some great injustice.
But Wade reached an all new level of annoying when he took out his frustrations against head coach Erik Spoelstra during a Game 3 loss to the Indiana Pacers in the Eastern Conference semifinals.
Spoelstra deserves credit for putting the situation behind him and taking the high road. Wade deserves a reality check.
Don't even get me started on this guy's penchant for whining to the officials. Give it a rest.
3. Anderson Varejao
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The ridiculous hair should be enough to earn a spot on this list, but oh there's more.
Varejao flops like it's his job, and the guy has to spend more energy unnecessarily than a 24-hour Walmart. The fact he never stops moving would be admirable. Unfortunately, that movement is incessantly awkward and uncoordinated.
Watching this guy play basketball is just plain painful.
I wouldn't be surprised if he were the real reason LeBron wanted out of Cleveland so badly.
2. LeBron James
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The only thing more annoying than LeBron James' shameless hour-long "Decision" is the fact it took no time at all for the gullible, star-craved media to forgive him for it.
Legions of bandwagon fans have since succumbed to a herd mentality following suit. The hero-worshiping memes proliferated by talking heads are accepted as gospel, and no one cares about how obnoxious this guy was before being re-programmed by PR strategists.
This is the same guy who mocked Dirk Nowitzki's sickness during the 2011 NBA Finals, and it's the same guy who's always talked about "his team" as if there aren't 11 other players chipping in.
James orchestrated a free-agency coup to play alongside a couple of All-Stars while the rest of the league attempts to build contenders minus the shortcuts.
Now that he's a winner, he gets a free pass.
1. Dwight Howard
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If watching Dwight Howard grin with his Purple and Gold jersey in hand doesn't annoy you, you're either admirably unflappable or a Lakers fan.
They won't have any trouble opening the arms to Howard. After all, what do Lakers fans care about Orlando? How can they even relate to Orlando?
Whereas Orlando's recent history involves a long line of things going wrong (or going to Los Angeles), the Lakers have lived a charmed life. They'll greedily take on Orlando's superstar for a second time.
If you're neither a Lakers fan nor a nihilist, this trade bothers you. It bothers you because yet another organization was held captive and to a trade demand and forced to rebuild. It bothers you because Howard shouldn't be rewarded for the way he handled this situation.
And most importantly, it bothers you because this guy is a transparently terrible liar.