We open on the Olympic Village cafeteria.
The Chinese diving team sits down to lunch.
Wu Minxia: Chen Ruolin, may I see your gold medals?
Chen Ruolin: Of course! Here are my gold medals!
She pulls two gold medals from her knapsack.
Chen Ruolin: Luo Yutong, can I see your gold medal?
Luo Yutong: Of course! Here is my gold medal!
He pulls a gold medal from his knapsack.
Luo Yutong: He Chong, can I see your gold medal?
He Chong: You mean my gold medal from 2008?
Luo Yutong: Of course not, silly! We want to see your gold medal from 2012.
He Chong: I didn't earn a gold medal in 2012.
Entire cafeteria falls silent.
Luo Yutong: I...uh...but...
He Chong: I finished third in the men's three-meter springboard, this despite the fact that I won the event in 2008 and at each of the last two World Championships. Because of my failure, China did not sweep the diving events as expected.
Wu Minxia: I understand. What is the reward for a third-place finish?
He Chong: A medal made of bronze.
Wu Minxia: Oh....
A dove flies through an open window and lands on He's shoulder. The dove gives He a knowing look.
He smiles, finding solace in the unspoken bond between man and beast.
The dove pauses a moment and then gouges its beak into He's neck.
He screams in agony.
Wu Minxia: These mashed potatoes are pretty good...