10 Scariest UFC Fighters

Dan Hiergesell@DHiergesellFeatured ColumnistAugust 17, 2012

10 Scariest UFC Fighters

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    From natural juggernauts to freakish greeters of pain, MMA is full of some of the scariest dudes on the planet.

    They may not have the same success as the UFC's most elite champions, but they're the ones you don't want to encounter in some back alley or broken down bar.

    With that said, here are the top-10 most "holy crap, lets get out of here" fighters in the UFC today.

    By the way, this is completely biased.

Ian McCall

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    Anyone that has the nickname "Uncle Creepy", looks like a carny and rocks a Rollie Fingers mustache, deserves immediate employment at Bad Ass, Inc.

    I mean at what point does Ian McCall not look scary?

    He's one of the biggest gamers in the UFC flyweight division and possesses an all-around solid game.

    Also he's probably one of those guys that speeds up the tilt-a-whirl when you ask him to stop it.

Shane Carwin

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    I'm not 100 percent certain, but I think Shane Carwin competes with meat lockers duct-taped to his knuckles.

    The guy's basically a human Home Depot.  His arms are the hammer and your face are the nails.

    Carwin's handiwork has led to some of the most vicious finishes in the heavyweight division and that in itself makes him a personified boogeyman.

Hector Lombard

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    Do I really need to explain this one?

    Words wouldn't do Hector Lombard's character justice in this case, so I'll leave you with one simple thought.

    How does this guy possess the speed of a lightweight and the arm-size of a heavyweight?

    It's mind boggling.

    Even Einstein would have problems with this one.  The dude defies physics.

Clay Guida

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    Clay Guida prefers to bleed.  It's in his blood.

    Get it?

    But seriously, "The Carpenter" has arguably become the most entertaining fighter in the UFC, albeit for his uncharacteristic effort against Gray Maynard.

    The bottom line is any fighter willing to bleed for his fans, bleed for his billionaire bosses and bleed for the sport, deserves to be on this list.

    Not to mention looking like a caveman and living in a camper lakeside.

Thiago Alves

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    Thiago Alves looks like one of those kids who matured way too quickly.

    You know what I'm talking about.  The ones who had armpit hair in fifth grade.

    He just looks unnatural as a welterweight.  Bigger, tougher and more powerful than anybody else.

    His only problem is stopping to catch his breath when he's pummeling your face.  That's what we call a window to hail a cab and get out of Dodge.

Dan Henderson

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    Sometimes age is not a factor.  Sometimes a guy can crack skulls until the day he dies.

    Dan Henderson just so happens to fit that mold.

    Not only does he possess an array of fake teeth, and hands that could blast through concrete, but Henderson looks like one of those old guys that will sit at a bar in 20 years and tell endless tales of awesomeness.

    You just don't want to mess with "Hendo".

Rampage Jackson

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    Any guy that has "Street Soldier" tattooed on his arm has my attention.

    Like I'll purposely walk around the block just to avoid making eye contact with someone like that, let alone one of the greatest MMA fighters of all time.

    The bottom line is that Rampage Jackson looks like the way I feel when UFC fans boo solid ground battles.

    Gritty, angry and full of fistful rage.  In my case, it never comes out.

Cheick Kongo

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    Great googly moogly is Cheick Kongo enormous.

    He literally looks like a futuristic robot sent back in time to beat up the world's most powerful fighters.

    I know he's not the best overall heavyweight, but Kongo could rip your arms off like he's shredding loose-leaf.

    And when he's done, nerd glasses and all, he'd probably teach you some armless French.

Wanderlei Silva

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    If you ever meet somebody who doesn't think Wanderlei Silva is scary, show them this picture and tell them to shove it.

    Because in what world does Silva not make you crap your pants on sight?

    I honestly don't know how reporters get close to him without fainting. 

    Head tattoos, Brazilian grizzle, and terrorizing hands just make Silva such an intimidating force.

Alistair Overeem

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    Can you imagine catching somebody with Alistair Overeem's stature breaking into your house?

    It's an automatic queue to lock your bedroom door, bury your head in your pillows, and scream "take whatever you want."

    Nobody in the history of elite fighters has ever looked like Overeem.  Now while people speculate he's done steroids in the past, I honestly don't think steroids can make you look like a granite warrior.

    Even Chuck Norris would be running for his life.  Scary stuff, man.

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