Behind every Moral Fiber award and flashy championship victory is an explosive scandal waiting to happen. That's a sports-world truth.
But sometimes, amidst the controversial chaos featuring adulterous athletes, misguided coaches and provocative cheerleaders, we find a moment to appreciate the nature behind the nurture. In other words, embrace the uncomfortable situation.
Racy photo shoots, festive yachts and magical Super Bowl slips have all flooded the athletic domain since cavemen first tossed round rocks at each other three million years ago. Now it's time to trace the annals of history for the best in the business, the sexiest if you will.
Here are the sexiest scandals ever to hog the sports limelight.
"Vanessa has always had a thing for footballers and set her heart on becoming a kind of super-WAG." - a source close to Miss Perroncel stated in The Sun.
This became the understatement of the year in 2010 when it was discovered that French underwear model Vanessa Perroncel had engaged in a heated affair with England captain John Terry, shortly after splitting from her baby daddy, Chelsea's Wayne Bridge.
Naturally, Bridge was shocked that his beloved bloke would do such a thing, but slow down now. There may have been four more Chelsea players before Bridge even came along. Serial WAG-ing her way into the headlines perhaps.
From pom poms to pornography, former Arizona State cheerleader Courtney Simpson found herself entwined in a sex-crazed career following her brief tenure as a Sun Devil.
Things got murkier from there, as Simpson was caught filming Gina Lynn’s Double Dutch in an ASU jersey, a visual the school wasn't excited to embrace and tried to stop under trademark and intellectual property infringement laws.
But in the end, Gina Lynn herself reversed the jersey on the box cover so it read "U-S-A" and blurred it out during the film. A crafty finish.
Simpson is now fully retired.
The biggest trade in Yankees history was made away from the diamond between close friends, former pinstripe pitchers Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson. But this exchange involved more than its fair share of high draft picks.
According to the respected gents at The Huffington Post, "Peterson traded his wife, Marilyn, his two kids and a poodle for Susan Kekich, the two Kekich children and a Bedlington terrier." Kekich then stated, "We didn't trade wives; we traded lives."
The results were mixed. While Kekich and Marilyn Peterson lost their heat, Peterson and Susanne Kekich married and had four new children together. Things could only get more awkward from then on.
In the end, the comment of the year came from Yankees executive Dan Topping in spring training of '73, "We may have to call off Family Day this season." True.
Do you really love the boat or are you just looking at things and saying that you love them?
Two boats, 17 Vikings, plenty of scantily-clad women running amok. The Minnesota love boat of 2005 shocked the gridiron world, essentially slapped Vikings owner Zygi Wilf right across the face and left four players with disgraceful charges. Let's just say, there was little privacy on the lake that night.
Among the crew of Daunte Culpepper, Bryant McKinnie, Fred Smoot and Moe Williams was an embarrassed quarterback taking the fall as usual. Culpepper was charged with indecent conduct, disorderly conduct and lewd or lascivious conduct. No more clean-cut for the powerful thrower.
Hank is totally upset and embarrassed. He's so angry. The main reason he's embarrassed is his team's [possible] reaction. He needs to concentrate on his career right now, and this just creates more distractions for him.
2010 was a rough year for former Colts receiver Hank Baskett. First, he failed to recover an onside kick in Super Bowl XLIV against the Saints and then a provocative tape featuring his rebellious wife surfaced.
Hang in there big guy.
As dicey as dicey gets seems the only way to properly detail the fire behind this sexy story.
According to ESPN, Angela Ellen Keathley and Renee Thomas were arrested at Banana Joe's after witnesses told police the two Carolina cheerleaders were having sex in the bathroom stall.
When one of the women waiting for the bathroom got angry that the couple was taking so long, she allegedly was punched by Thomas. Belligerence and rude sloppiness followed.
Keathley was charged with disorderly conduct and obstructing or opposing an officer, and Thomas with one count of battery. Epic.
Apparently Cyndi Lauper was correct in her expert analysis: Girls really do just want to have fun.
Like many legendary squads before them, the Orange Coast College cheerleaders naturally took salacious pics and shared them on the world wide web. The crucial question, why post them?
Word has it that the girls were in Las Vegas for a cheerleading competition and decided to experiment with some unique poses. Things spiraled from there.
The one downside to going undrafted in the NFL seems to be the opportunity to travel to Canada and join the CFL's Winnipeg Blue Bombers. Why, you ask?
Well it's simple, their cheerleaders—also known as the Blue Lightning squad—have fan entertainment down pat. It seems a subtle girls night in got a bit out of control back in 2008, and it was also clear that Blue Bombers spokesman Arash Madani was in slight denial.
Blue Bombers spokesman Arash Madani said Monday that no current cheerleaders appear in the photos, which he said were taken in "2005 at the latest."
"Each member puts in countless hours of training, volunteering, mentoring and making a positive impact in the community," he told the Winnipeg Free Press. "A small number of isolated photos from a member without any affiliation to the organization for quite some time is not a reflection of what the Blue Lightning team or the franchise is about."
As music mogul Justin Timberlake began to tear apart Janet Jackson's bustier at the 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show, few were prepared for the malfunction-esque outcome. On second thought, to call her breast slip a wardrobe malfunction would be an insult to anyone with five properly working senses.
Luckily for CBS, the Supreme Court was willing to relieve the network of a $550,000 fine for what they described as, "unlawfully arbitrary departure from the FCC's prior policy of looking the other way when network censors failed to catch fleeting expletives" (h/t The Huffington Post).
In the end, Super Bowl XXXVIII was the flashiest performance we'd seen since Joe Namath guaranteed victory in Super Bowl III.
Some called it a full-blown scandal, but the Kings cheerleading photo album seemed just another tactic to dominate the headlines. Or perhaps it was a new chapter in the West Coast-East Coast battle.
Either way, these girls pioneered the way for web-wide madness.