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Breaking Bad Characters and Their NFL Doppelgangers

Dave RadcliffeContributor IIIJanuary 9, 2017

Breaking Bad Characters and Their NFL Doppelgangers

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    Everybody here is caught up on Breaking Bad, correct?

    Well, even if you aren't, there shouldn't be any spoilers in this slideshow anyway, but some of you may be wondering what exactly AMC's award winning drama Breaking Bad has to do with sports.

    I think I gave it away right there—drama.

    It's undoubtedly the best part about sports, and for those of you familiar with Breaking Bad, it definitely has its fair share of suspense.

    In particular, the recurring characters in Breaking Bad compare pretty well to some of the athletes in the NFL. Each of the nine main characters in the hit series have distinct personalities, and one of the best parts of the NFL is the unique personalities and abilities of its players.

    With the NFL preseason just kicking off and Breaking Bad now in its final season, let's compare the main characters of Breaking Bad to their NFL doppelgangers. 

Marie Schrader

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    Marie is one of those characters that viewers could probably do without. Intertwined in the story because of family, she always makes it a point for her opinion to be heard.

    What Marie fails to do, however, is practice what she preaches. In other words, she talks a big game, but doesn't back it up. Still, Marie is always trying to do what's best for her family—it's just that she can chew your ear off in the process.

Marie Is Rex Ryan

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    Rex Ryan is the lone coach to break the list, but he offers the most similar comparison to Marie.

    Ryan's prime example of talking a big game and failing to back it up came in 2011 when he guaranteed his New York Jets would win the Super Bowl. And of course, we all know how much Ryan loves to talk.

    He's no shoplifter, but Ryan does need to stop stealing ideas from a former Jet that actually followed through on his promise.

    Still, Ryan is a guy who always has the back of his players. He just needs to avoid putting added pressure on them because of his big mouth. 

Walter White Jr.

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    Walter White Jr., better known as just "Junior," is the son of the main protagonist in the series. He has cerebral palsy, which leaves him with crutches and causes him to be a little on the slow side.

    Junior struggles to understand why is father is always mysteriously disappearing and believes his parents when they come up with an alibi. He is completely oblivious to how his family all of a sudden began to bring in such a large sum of money.

Junior Is Troy Polamalu

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    This comparison is in no way claiming that Troy Polamalu has a physical disability, but it's possible he could soon if he continues down the path he's currently traveling.

    Recently, Polamalu admitted that he has played through concussions and managed to hide them from team doctors in order to stay in the game.

    It's safe to say Polamalu is oblivious to the dangers of concussions—he believes he has had eight or nine recorded concussions throughout his playing career, and this doesn't even include the ones he kept under wraps.

Saul Goodman

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    Better call Saul!

    Saul Goodman plays a lawyer in Breaking Bad, but he's not your typical law guy. He represents and has connections with several of the main characters in the show—on a criminal level.

    While he may not come across as professional, Saul is actually very good at what he does and helps his clients get out of sticky situations because of his connections to the criminal underworld.

    Still, Saul is a slimy dude and afraid of any sort of conflict—but what football player could possibly be afraid of conflict?

Saul Is Jay Cutler

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    They even kind of look the same.

    Jay Cutler is notorious for his tendency to shy away from contact. Remember the 2011 NFC Championship Game against the Green Bay Packers?

    Cutler came under a lot of scrutiny for coming out of the game after the first half for not playing through injury in the biggest game of the season. Later it was revealed that Cutler had suffered a sprained MCL.

    Whether Cutler could have played with any kind of effectiveness with the injury is up for debate, but his fear of contact and sleazy personality makes him a perfect doppelganger for Saul.

Hank Schrader

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    Hank is a Drug Enforcement Administration agent and the funniest character on Breaking Bad. What makes his role in the show so interesting is that he is the brother-in-law of the best meth cooker in the southwest.

    Hank is relentless and always seems to be on the right track. Unfortunately he is continuously one step behind, and while he may be able to close a case here and there, he can never get his hands on the big prize.

Hank Is Tony Romo

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    There's no denying that Tony Romo is good at what he does. He's a top tier quarterback in the NFL, but he just can't seem to get a "break on the case," so to speak.

    Like Hank, Romo is just barely a step behind. Despite lofty expectations year in and year out, Romo fails to deliver when it matters most and still remains without a Super Bowl ring.

    Perhaps some demons haunt Romo deep down because of these failures, just as Hank battles with some of his own because of traumatic events he's suffered through.

Skyler White

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    One of the most hated characters in the history of television, Skyler White is someone we could all do without.

    She plays a prevalent role and necessary evil in Breaking Bad as the wife of the main character, but her actions—which we won't reveal out of respect for those still getting caught up with the series—sort of cause your blood to boil.

    Sure, she has her moments here and there, but no matter what she does, it's difficult for us to overcome our hatred for Skyler.

Skyler Is Ndamukong Suh

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    I don't know what happened, but Ndamukong Suh went from being a fairly likable NFL player to being disliked league-wide for his recent actions.

    A tenacious defensive tackle, Suh has failed to keep his emotions intact. Last season, he infamously stomped on Packers offensive lineman Evan Dietrich-Smith after repeatedly pushing his head into the ground—all of this for conceivably no good reason.

    A player poll revealed Suh to be the dirtiest player in the NFL, and his off-the-field antics haven't helped his cause, either. He seemed oblivious of his wrongdoing against the Packers and also made headlines by lying about the single-car crash he was involved in last season.

    Skyler and Suh are both disliked the most in their respective roles. 

Mike Ehrmantraut

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    Mike is the "fixer." He works as a private investigator and is very good at what he does.

    Previously, he had a subdued role on Breaking Bad, but Mike has recently become one the show's most important characters. As a private investigator, Mike must do a lot of the dirty work and makes a good right-hand man because of his incredible skills and knowledge of crime.

    He does what it takes to get the job done, but still keeps his best interests at the forefront. 

Mike Is Mario Williams

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    Mario Williams is one of the most prolific defensive ends—and outside linebackers—in the NFL.

    He battles in the trenches, fighting his way to get to the quarterback. He does the dirty work, and gets hurt doing it along the way. Williams and Mike have both recently dealt with their fair share of injuries.

    Williams was a true team player for the Houston Texans, willing to move to outside linebacker when Wade Phillips' 3-4 defense was instituted last season. The move was key in the Texans essentially going from worst to first in terms of team defense.

    This doesn't mean Williams isn't looking out for himself, as he signed the most lucrative deal for a defensive player in NFL history with the Buffalo Bills this offseason.

Gustavo Fring

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    Gustavo "Gus" Fring is without a doubt one of the most interesting characters in the Breaking Bad series. 

    His two-faced personality (that has a double meaning for you Breaking Bad veterans) is what makes him so intriguing, with Gus always famously keeping his calm while remaining sinister on the inside as a major drug distributor.

    He's an extremely good businessman and much-loved in the community while always remaining a step ahead of authorities and others that Gus believes pose a threat.

Gus Is Aaron Rodgers

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    Aaron Rodgers is cool, calm and collected at all times—just like his alter ego, Gus.

    The best quarterback in the NFL, Rodgers made it to the pinnacle of the sport two years ago just as Gus reached the top by becoming the leader of the biggest meth distribution in the southwest thanks to his savvy business skills.

    But deep down, Rodgers is an assassin. He picks defenses apart with his accurate darts and is able to stay a step ahead of the opposition, making him the best at his craft.

    It's hard to find two more easy going dudes than Aaron Rodgers and Gustavo Fring.

Jesse Pinkman

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    We've seen Jesse Pinkman come a long way since his Breaking Bad debut.

    Jesse is best known for being kind of a screw-off, bringing unwanted attention and perhaps not making the best life choices as he works in the drug industry.

    That's not to say Jesse isn't superb at what he does. Under strict tutelage, Jesse became a very good cook and his street smarts are one of the biggest reasons he's made it this far.

    Jesse likes to party, but he's become more focused on his craft as the series continues and is one of the most likable characters on Breaking Bad.

Jesse Is Rob Gronkowski

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    Rob Gronkowski, affectionately known as "Gronk," loves to party.

    One of the best tight ends in the NFL, Gronk has risen to the top at an astronomical pace. On the field, he's dominant, but off the field, Gronkowski likes to have his fun.

    We've seen him pose for a picture with a porn star, goof around on the ESPY red carpet, dance it up with his shirt off the night after losing the Super Bowl (how's that ankle, Gronk?)...the list goes on and on.

    The New England Patriots, being the class organization that they are, have told Gronk to knock it off, but it's going to be hard to keep a leash on one of the NFL's best—party starters, that is.

    Yo soy fiesta.

Walter White

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    Finally, the man of the hour.

    I'm not sure there has ever been a more intriguing protagonist—or antagonist depending how you look at it—in the history of television than Walter White, the chemistry teacher-turned meth cook who will do whatever it takes to provide for his family.

    Walt began to grow more and more dangerous after being diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and despite continuously getting in over his head, Walt's genius manages to get him out of trouble—sometimes resulting in significant consequences.

    The progression of Walter White's character is the true beauty of Breaking Bad

Walt Is Eli Manning

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    Just like Walt famously proclaimed at the end of season four, Eli Manning only has to say one thing—"I won."

    In fact, he can say it twice. Call it genius or call it luck, Manning has managed to do what it takes to bring two Lombardi trophies back to the Big Apple in the past five years. 

    He has saved his team from the brink of elimination, just as Walt has thought up ways to keep himself and others close to him alive thanks to his brilliant mind—and a little bit of good fortune along the way.

    Sure, Manning doesn't come across as the most ominous person, but that's the only thing he doesn't have in common with Walt. He's a winner, and no matter how you cut it, Eli Manning is one of the best at what he does.

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