5 WWE Divas We'd Never Take Home to Mom
The majority of conversations regarding WWE Divas tend to be about their unbelievably good looks and stunning bodies—then there are the Divas who spark the thought: "Yikes, there's no way I'd take her home to meet my mom."
For the most part, the WWE employs models who have little to no talent. They're in the WWE to help spark interest in the Divas division simply because they're nice to look at (See, Rosa Mendes.)
Others? Not so much.
Whether it's their personality or truthfully it's 100 percent based on looks, there are five Divas that immediately come to mind when thinking of whom one should avoid taking home to meet dear old mom.
These five women should have what it takes to truly frighten any mother away.
Imagine these conversations taking place.
Disclaimer(s): No deceased women were included. That's just disrespectful.
You: Hey mom, meet Beth Phoenix.
She's grown up wrestling her entire life. Isn't that cool? Just ignore the fact that she's more buff than me (or equally.)
She's done so well for herself in the WWE—dominating the competition—that she earned the nickname "The Glamazon." Get it? Because she's strong and fierce, but can still be beautiful.
Mom: What's with that growl face? She looks like she's going to rip you in half. Am I next?
There's a pretty thick line between working out to look good and overdoing it. It's about as thick as her arms.
What a shame. She's got such a pretty face.
She's right. Phoenix is very pretty when she isn't making the Glamazon face. You might be able to take her home to meet your mother after a few months of dating and plenty of time prepping her for such a physique.
You: Mom, this is Mickie James.
She may or may not have been in the pornography business before entering professional wrestling.
Okay, I admit it. She was in porn.
But she's changed now, mom. Her first stint in the WWE was extremely successful. She played this awesome stalker character where she was in love with one of the other Divas.
She does have a propensity to wear a lot less clothing than most of the other girls too.
Hey, she sings country music on the side though—that's something.
Mom: Good, she can sing about her experiences in porno—the country music genre will love that. She does kind of give off a porn chick vibe.
How did she learn to play such a good stalker on television—practical experience perhaps?
She sounds like a winner.
It's a fair and valid point. Her history and on-screen roles aren't the greatest. James isn't one you'd avoid if you saw her in public though. In fact, she's quite the opposite. She's just not the take home kind.
You: Now mom, I need you to be nice to Kia Stevens. Ignore the fact that she's 5'9'' and 272 pounds. Also, don't feel like you have to call her by her ring name, Kharma.
Although, it's probably better than her other nickname "Awesome Kong."
She's a sweet person on the inside.
Mom: Dear God. That's one scary woman.
This one—unfortunately—is one based solely on looks. Kharma could be a terrific person. But I guarantee she would scare most mothers.
You: Mom, meet Vickie Guerrero.
She's 44 years old, comes from a great family and once held the esteemed position of Raw general manager.
Although, while sleeping with one of her employees (Edge,) she cheated on him with another employee (Big Show.) She's been married too—a few times actually.
She's an Aries and oh yes—she's a self-proclaimed "cougar" which means she's into younger men.
Mom: She's old enough to be your mom. That's disgusting.
Touche mom, touche. It is fair to point out that not everyone reading is the same age. But to you readers 35-years-old or older, Guerrero wouldn't go for you. She's a cougar.
You: I would like you to meet Joanie Laurer—her friends call her Chyna.
She used to be in fitness competitions before she made it big in wrestling.
While with the WWE, she became one of the most popular and successful women to ever participate. In fact, she was an Intercontinental champion—the first and only female champion ever.
She had to step away though, likely because of an affair her then-boyfriend Triple H was having with the company's boss' daughter.
Afterwards, she had a spell with drugs and alcohol. It led to an amateur sex tape with yet another wrestler she used to work with.
I guess she liked it because she's still doing porn today.
Mom: Good God. Are you serious? People are actually interested in watching her do porn?
Chyna was as big as her male counterparts in the business. Strike one. Her history of drugs, alcohol, depression and relationship woes with work peers is strike two. Porn is the deal-breaker.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!