Fantasy Football Team Names: Best and Worst of 2012

Rob Tong@colickyboyContributor IIIJuly 31, 2012

Fantasy Football Team Names: Best and Worst of 2012

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    You've got your sleepers list.

    You've got your busts list.

    You've got your cheat sheet lined up.

    You've even got your draft plan ready.

    You are all set—ready to dominate your league.

    But wait.

    What the heck is your fantasy team going to be called?

    You want to be clever and witty without resorting to obscure references or sexual/profane names that would offend your wife/children/mother.

    And you don't want a blah name that elicits a shrug.

    Everyone has different opinions of what's a great name and what's a lame name. And it's impossible to list everything here. But the following are some ideas that may give you some guidance this year.

The Best

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    Of course, NFL player names provide a near-endless supply of creative team names. Just a small sampling of both classic and newer team names:

    - White Cassel

    - Jersey Leshoure

    - Ix-nay on the Heyward-Bey

    - The ShawShiancoe Redemption

    - Scobee Snacks

    - Ben ROFLsberger

    - Have Bush? Get Barber!

    - What Would Jones-Drew?

    - Weeden't Start The Fire

    - Addai'd In Your Arms Tonight

    - When In Rome, Do As Aromashodu

    - The Real McCoy

    - Wake Me Up Before You Romo

    - Breaston Plants

    - Gronkitis

    - Henne I Shrunk The Kids

    - Dez Pispenser

    - The Token Blackmon

    - Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe

    - No More Hines 57 With My Roethlisberger

    Cruz Control

    - Romo Witten His Pants

    - Forte Year Old Virgin

    - Wham Bam Thank You Cam

    - Corn on the Kolb

    - Skip To Helu, My Darling

    - Gronk had an Owski

    - Austin-tacious

    - The Celek Few

    - Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood

    - Shaving Ryan's Privates

    - Take A Chansi And Don't Get Stuckey

    - Shaun of the Hill

    But plays on player names aren't your only options. Team names can similarly provide some fodder:

    - Colt Following

    - Scoreless in Seattle

    - Time To Titan Up

    - Bearly Tolerable

    - Millenium Falcons

    NFL positions have even forged some ideas:

    - I Got A Tight End

    - I'm Thinking RBs (a play on the Arby's slogan)

    It's hard to be creative in more general terms, but here are a few if you're feeling particularly confident about this year:

    - Bloodbath and Beyond

    - Chili Con Carnage

    - iWin for Apple users.

    - EZ$ is amusing in a money league, though the joke's on you if you end up fielding a losing team.

    Current NFL buzz can also be a good source of team names. For example:

    - Whizzinator in 2005 (Onterrio Smith was caught with a comical device designed to beat drug tests)

    - Bad Newz Kennels in 2007 (the name of Michael Vick's dog-fighting operation)

    This year? Perhaps Bountygate Hunters.

    The best general fantasy team name?

    - The Usual Suspects. Perfect.

The Worst

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    Anything involving Jerry Sandusky (e.g., Jerry's Kids or Jerry's Youth Group) is tasteless. Period.

    Plays on your own first or last name may be quite funny to you but odds are that it's just meh to everyone else (e.g., Carter Administration or Smithereens).

    And naming your team after your alma mater in some way (e.g., Big House or Trojans Rule!) is just not creative at all.

    Paradoxical and bizarre team names used to be all the rage (e.g., The Raging Monks or The Cow-Tipping Rockhopper Penguins) but when you've seen one, you've seen them all.

    Lastly, obscure, short-lived references are bad also. Naming your team Brandon Jacob's Helmet after Jacobs threw his helmet in the stands (2010) might be amusing the day after it happened but it loses its humor shortly thereafter and thus is fairly meaningless by the end of your season.


    Hopefully this article gave you some ideas of what team names work best and what doesn't work at all.

    Got more ideas? Add them in the comments below.

    Follow me on Twitter: @robtong21.