Best- and Worst-Case Scenario for the World Heavyweight Championship
photo courtesy of wwe.com
Too often, the WWE audience focuses on the WWE title picture. With wrestlers like CM Punk, John Cena and The Rock it is easy to see why.
However, let's flip our attention over to Smackdown and the World Heavyweight Championship. This title picture is a lot more muddy and much more likely to lead to some horrific scenarios.
Which superstars should hold the WHC?
Which superstars will have to be struck by an illness to let younger guys into the title picture?
How will Dolph Ziggler's Money in the Bank briefcase affect the landscape?
Let's examine what should and could happen.
photo courtesy of wwe.com
Sheamus faces Alberto Del Rio at Summerslam. During their match Sheamus decides to no-sell ADR, instead opting to spend the eight minutes set aside for the match pounding the Mexican Aristocrat. ADR, furious with this display by Sheamus, storms to the back and quits immediately following the match.
The following Smackdown, Sheamus is squashing Cody Rhodes when Dolph Ziggler walks down to the ring. Rhodes capitalizes on this distraction and punches Sheamus, rendering him unconscious.
As Ziggler attempts to cash in the MitB briefcase, Vickie Guerrero distracts him long enough for Sheamus to come to and Brogue Kick Ziggler (who uses his amazing selling abilities and athleticism to do a triple backflip off the move).
Sheamus and Vickie now align and Sheamus adds another piece to him being WHC for all eternity because the WWE loves Vickie for some reason.
Sheamus continues to retain the WHC through SummerSlam and through the rest of 2012. Then Sheamus continuously appears on Raw and the ratings noticeably drop when he is on TV.
WWE Creative decides that Sheamus needs to be repackaged and he drops the title at the Royal Rumble to Alberto Del Rio.
The following Friday/Tuesday/Whenever it gets recorded day on Smackdown there is a new promo. It features Jesse and Festus talking about their farm down home and how they found their equalizer in the WWE.
These promos continue for several weeks and dumbfound everyone, except for those who read dirt sheets and know what is going to happen several months before it actually does.
After a match with Heath Slater, yeah he will still be around; ADR gets his celebration interrupted by the returning Jesse and Festus who introduce their equalizer...THE RED ROOSTER!
However, there is no Terry Taylor, the new Red Rooster is Sheamus. Because the WWE Creative decided to capitalize on his fiery red hair and pale white skin (think about it....he looks like a rooster).
The Red Rooster defeats ADR at WrestleMania for the WHC and then Jesse and Festus become Tag Team champions.
photo courtesy of onlineworldofwrestling.com
The closest Mysterio gets to another title run is being another body in No. 1 contender matches.
After failing at the next 14 of these matches, he begins to feud with Sin Cara. During this feud, Mysterio gets jealous that the WWE has fallen in love with another Lucha Libre wrestler.
The WWE chooses to let these two settle their rivalry in a Hell in a Cell during the Hell in a Cell PPV. Mysterio decides to do absolutely nothing to help Sin Cara look even remotely like a wrestler.
Sin Cara ends up tearing his ACL, MCL and breaking his clavicle after attempting a clothesline (that he decides looks best when he does a triple front flip before he makes contact).
Mysterio then goes down in history as the man that ended Sin Cara’s WWE career.
Rey Mysterio ends up winning the World HEAVYWEIGHT Championship despite weighing only twice the weight of the belt itself.
The WWE decides that this is their opportunity to reshape the title scene. Sin Cara then wins a No. 1 contender match for the WHC. This victory sets up a feud between Mysterio and Sin Cara.
During this feud the WWE decides to let Sin Cara wrestle in normal lighting, however this blinds Sin Cara who is use to working in that weird half light, ‘we can hide botches with darkness.’
As Sin Cara flails around nobody notices because it just looks like he is botching like normal, until he accidentally kicks Mysterio, severely injuring his neck.
Sin Cara defeats Mysterio, becoming the WHC, and Mysterio ends up retiring from active competition even though he wrestles at every WrestleMania.
photo courtesy of thehistoryofwwe.com
Following Sheamus’ title defence against Alberto Del Rio, Ziggler cashes in his MitB briefcase and wins. As Ziggler and Sheamus feud there is a repetitive number of matches between both ADR and Daniel Bryan which, even though the WWE won’t ever say it, will determine the No. 1 contender for the WHC.
ADR ends up winning every single one of these matches; however he ironically gets run over by a beautiful Jaguar rental car, causing him to go away for a very long time.
Ziggler defeats Sheamus, who then begins to feud with the Big Show, because I guess that’s what all superstars who are waiting to get the title back do. This sets up Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan for the WHC at WrestleMania.
The WWE Creative team then finally realizes that these two are amazing and gives them more than 12 minutes for a match, which ends up being one of the best in history.
Bryan wins the belt and then drops it to Heath Slater several months later after he wins the MitB due to interference from the legends who have been beating him for six-plus months.
WWE Creative sucks and doesn’t give Bryan another title shot instead sticking him in a program with ADR or Sin Cara or Big Show (if you can’t tell by now, I don’t care for these three).
photo courtesy of wrestlingrush.com
Ziggler becomes the third person to cash in the MitB briefcase with notice. This act of being a confident human being angers Vickie and she...leaves?...dumps?...divorces?...whatevers Ziggler.
Ziggler then cleanly defeats Sheamus in their title match at Night of Champions, take that Mr. Cena. The WWE Creative realizes that pushing Sheamus because he is Hunter’s training buddy looks bad on the company, which in turn looks bad for Linda McMahon’s political career, and Ziggler retains the belt in their rematch at Hell in a Cell.
The fans then get the luxury of watching Ziggler and Rhodes become the future of the company today.
Ziggler cashes in his MitB and loses to Sheamus. After that, Ziggler spends the next year becoming this generation’s version of the Brooklyn Brawler, thus selling to every single person that is buying.
Ziggler eventually fades into obscurity and gets hired with TNA under the name Zolph Diggler, because their creative is full of MENSA members.
Wins an X division title then ends up headlining wrestling events in small hockey rinks in Canada.
Alberto Del Rio
photo courtesy of superluchas.files.wordpress.com
He loses and goes far, far away.
He wins and he opens every show with a 20-minute promo.
The shenanigans are over, folks.
Do you think the WHC has any value?
Do you believe I wasted my little amount of brain capacity thinking about this?
Leave a comment and let me know.
As always, thanks for reading!
Remember to follow me on twitter for more shenanigans @footballcanuck