MLB Trade Speculation: 10 Creative Ways the Brewers Can Get Greinke to Re-Sign

Justin Schultz@@JSchu23Correspondent IJuly 23, 2012

MLB Trade Speculation: 10 Creative Ways the Brewers Can Get Greinke to Re-Sign

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    According to reports, the Milwaukee Brewers have offered Zack Greinke a deal for five years that's worth a little more than $100 million.

    But with only a half of the season left to play, chances are that Greinke will test the free-agent waters. Unless, the Brewers can find a way to make him stay. Owner Mark Attanasio and GM Doug Melvin will have to be innovative. They'll be forced to think outside the box and dig deep into their creative minds. The Brewers will need to cater to Greinke's needs.

    Some fans will think that Greinke doesn't deserve this special treatment, but those same fans don't realize the importance of having Greinke remain in Milwaukee. Greinke is essential to the Brewers' future, maybe more than some realize. Milwaukee should spare no expenses in attempting to bring him back.

    Here are 10 creative ways the Brewers can convince Zack Greinke to re-sign long-term.

10. Access to Bernie Brewers' Slide

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    The Brewers are known for their Brats and for Bernie Brewers' slide. It is everyone's dream to take a leap down the yellow adventure, as Bernie does after every Milwaukee home run.

    Milwaukee should grant Greinke V.I.P. access to the famous slide.

    Whenever Greinke or his wife feel like reliving their childhood days, they'll be free to go down the most notable non-water slide in Wisconsin. Journeying down would be the ultimate thrill for not only Greinke, but for his future children.

    Sitting in the dugout four out of five days must be pretty mundane for starting pitchers. So instead of venturing to the clubhouse during a non-pitching day, Greinke could visit Bernie Brewer, have a nice chat and go down the slide himself.

    Full access to Bernie's slide would not only be unprecedented, it would be loads of fun—even for someone as stiff as Greinke.

9. Social Anxiety Scare Tactic

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    It has been well-documented that Zack Greinke suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder. His symptoms were so abomindable in Kansas City, that he was considering retirement. Instead, he spent seven months away from the game to get treatment.

    The Brewers should use this to their advantage. Compared to other cities that house major league teams, Milwaukee is rather small—a perfect fit for a player with anxiety. Milwaukee isn't New York or Boston with media personnel hounding a player like a slab of meat. The Brew City is more laid back and calm.

    It has been reported that the New York Yankees will stay away from Greinke, thinking he won't be able to handle the pressures of the Big Apple. Greinke has easily handled Milwaukee. He is comfortable there.

    Milwaukee might not be able to pay him as much, but social anxiety should be no issue for Greinke there.

8. Future GM Position

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    Mark Attanasio should agree to hire Greinke as the team's general manager at some point after the ace retires. Greinke has been very interested about how the front office of baseball works. Attanasio even allowed Greinke to sit in on the 2012 Draft.

    Greinke has said the Attanasio is the best owner in baseball. Working for him again would definitely be no issue.

    This would almost be icing on the cake for Greinke. He would have a prolific job waiting for him after a solid playing career and after years of being told what to do, Greinke would be calling the shots and making personnel and business decisions.

    If Greinke were to become general manager for the Milwaukee Brewers, he could hire his old ballplayer buddies as coaches. Working with friends again would make Greinke feel comfortable.

    Who could say no to this?

7. Roof Closing/Opening Power

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    Zack Greinke should be given the power to decide whether the roof at Miller Park should be opened or closed. For a first-timer, seeing the roof open or close is quite a spectacle. Being in charge of the roof is even greater.

    Maybe Greinke pitches well in a light sprinkle and would rather have the roof open. With his new-found power, he'll be able to pitch in any environment he likes. He will most likely take requests from his teammates as well.

    The grounds crew may not like that a player has taken over their responsibilities, but the Brewers would rather irritate them than their pitching stud.

    Some days, Greinke might share his power with fans. How psyched would you be if Zack Greinke walked up to you and asked if you wanted the roof open or closed?

    Having roof powers would make Greinke's life just a little more interesting.

6. Own Personal Catcher

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    Like Randy Wolf has now, Greinke will have his own personal catcher. A catcher that will catch exclusively for him.

    By having his own catcher, Greinke and his mate will be so in-tune that mistakes will rarely be made. Greinke won't have to worry about shaking off signs because every sign will be perfect. His catcher will be at his beck and call. Any time Greinke wants to discuss pitching strategy, his catcher will be there.

    Having a catcher you can trust goes a long way towards a pitchers confidence. Confidence can sometimes overcome lack of skill. Greinke's catcher will be top-notch defensively and will be able to handle every pitch the ace throws. I guess that leaves George Kottaras out of the running.

    Usually the only pitchers that have personal catchers are knuckleballers. But Greinke could benefit from an exclusive catcher. It definitely wouldn't hurt to try.

5. Statue

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    If Greinke agrees to retire as a Milwaukee Brewer, a statue should be built outside Miller Park.

    The Brewers have already made a Greinke bobblehead—the next step is a Greinke statue. Greinke would be the fifth person honored with a statue at Miller Park. He would join Robin Yount, Hank Aaron, Bud Selig, and Bob Uecker.

    A life-size statue of himself might be a bit overwhelming for Greinke, but his doubts would wash away when he sees the finished product. A statue guarantees you'll never be forgotten. Greinke will be a constant reminder to fans for years to come when they see him cast in bronze.

    A statue is for all-time greats. Hopefully, Greinke lives up to that.

4. Opening Day Starter

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    Since Greinke has been a Brewer, Yovani Gallardo has taken the mound on Opening Day. Each time, Greinke says he doesn't mind, but as a fierce competitor, it'd be hard not to.

    The Brewers should guarantee Greinke the Opening Day start for the rest of his career. That's where a true ace like Greinke belongs. Gallardo has already signed a long-term deal with Milwaukee so I doubt he will fight to keep his throne.

    Greinke was the Opening Day starter for the Royals in his tenure there. Being the number two guy must have felt strange at first. But Greinke just rolled with it.

    Greinke has been more efficient in 2012 than his counterpart and time has come for Greinke to man the top spot in the rotation.

3. Involved in Interview Process

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    Since Greinke is interested in how front office management works, the Brewers should allow Greinke to sit in on interviews of potential managers and coaches.

    Although soft-spoken, Greinke would be allowed to ask questions that he feels need to be answered. As a player, he knows what type of manager would be a nice fit for him and his teammates. He respects Ron Roenicke but who knows how long he will be around—especially if the Crew continues to underachieve.

    Milwaukee won't dare to hire someone that Greinke disproves of. If Greinke is anything, he's a straight-shooter. He has no trouble telling the honest truth.

    By having Greinke involved in the interview process, it guarantees his approval.

2. Free Miller Beer for Life

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    The Brewers should try to make an arrangement with the Miller Brewing Company that gives Zack Greinke free beer for life.

    If this isn't the hook, line, and sinker, I don't know what is. Who wouldn't want free beer for life?

    This agreement would be brilliant for Miller. Put Greinke in a few commercials and advertising the product and revenue will skyrocket. As a thank you to Miller's new profits, maybe they'll knock a few bucks off of their beer at Miller Park. That'll be sure to drive in more fans.

    This deal would benefit everyone involved. Greinke would be swimming in beer, Miller would be counting it's money, and the Brewers would see a rise in attendance. Everybody wins.

1. The "Greinke" Brat

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    The Brewers would name a bratwurst after Zack. It'd be called the Greinke Brat or the Zack Attack. In a city that is known for its sausages, there's no bigger honor than to have a brat named after you.

    The Greinke Brat would also run in the famous racing sausages race. The contestant would be hand-picked by Greinke himself. He would even pick the costume for his beloved brat. Fans would take warmly to the new brat and he would soon become the fan favorite. Oddmakers in Vegas would make him the favorite each night.

    Greinke Brat shirts and souvenirs would be made. Diehard Brewers fans would get a tattoo of their favorite new food. Milwaukee would go nuts.

    If Greinke won't accept an offer like this, than I guess Milwaukee isn't the place for him.