Update: Marshawn's In MORE Trouble
“They (officers) knocked on the window of the car," said Police Captain Takenson. "Someone unrolled the window. They saw three people in the car and they could smell a strong odor - marijuana coming from the car. They had the occupants exit so they could further investigate to see if there was any marajuana in the car. What they found were four, not marajuana cigarettes - what they call blunts or swisher sweets that appeared to contain marijuana in them."
First of all, of course there was pot in the car! We’re talking about a high profile athlete here. It should be a surprise if there wasn’t pot in the car. And second of all, who does Tankenson think he’s fooling? “What they call blunts or swisher sweets,” like these things are unidentified flying objects or something. Unless he doubles as a math geek who wears a bow tie and suspenders with a huge metal rod shoved up his hoohoo, there’s about, um, a zero percent chance that he hasn’t experimented at least once or twice in his life.
What this all means for Lynch is simple. He’s screwed. Just like that 5′3″ anorexic babysitter I saw this morning who was managing to walk the little kid she was watching on a leash in one hand and an 80 lb. dog in the other hand until they both decided to run in opposite directions at the same time. That’s a bone crusher.
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Why is this article poorly edited?