The 5 Most Appalling Uniforms in the NFL
Let's get the 2012 season started already. Don't lie, something of this sort probably went through your mind when reading the title of this article. Right?
With just a couple handfuls of Sunday life without regular season NFL football, we are currently at a turtle's pace with news around the league. Of course that will change when training camps officially start two weeks from now.
As it is, I am pretty tired of hearing the same ole' stories run on continuous streams throughout the mainstream media. "X football player arrested," "Bounty Gate," "The Penn State situation." Enough already.
So, let's just have some fun and take a look at the five most appalling uniforms in the National Football League today. Yes, I will play the role of Perez Hilton this one time.
5. Baltimore Ravens
I may get some flack for this, but purple? If Jerry Falwell were still alive there would be never-ending jokes about these Baltimore Ravens.
I don't even know if you could call their uniforms purple. They could, in fact, be considered lavender. You know that bath soap that you get your grandmother on Christmas.
Sure, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed probably don't mind going to work everyday in this color. In fact, their pure brutality on the field makes you overlook what they're wearing.
That being said, Elvis didn't look too good in this attire either.
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Nothing could be worst than the "baby crap orange" uniforms that former Tampa Bay Buccaneers' players had to don some 20 years ago. Those were, by far, the absolute worst uniforms in the history of the National Football League.
Tampa Bay modernized about a decade ago, but didn't improve their look a great deal. The consistent visions of Warren Sapp rolling around in this uni still keeps me up at night and don't get me started on Anthony McFarland.
They decided that pewter was, all of a sudden, an "in" hue. It was kinda like Prince meets Helen Keller.
Either way, you would think that a team with the Buccaneer' name would actually come up with something better. At least their new pirate doesn't look like something out of a Johnny Depp flick.
3. San Francisco 49ers
At least the San Francisco 49ers don't have that disgustingly bright red uniform anymore. I almost felt embarrassed walking out in public representing my team growing up. That, coupled with the gold, really had the look of a friend of mine going to the club hoping she would end up pole dancing.
The gold still stands, which is obviously a part of the 49ers history. That being said, they are moving into a new stadium soon and should revolutionize the look of the unis.
San Francisco could have gone red, gold and black. That would have been an awesome look. Even something like this would have been pretty spiffy.
As it is, I wouldn't be surprised to see the streets of San Francisco filled with gold glitter, not confetti, the next time they win a Super Bowl.
2. Seattle Seahawks
I guess the Seattle Seahawks decided to go with the hybrid Arena Football League-XFL look here. Seriously, this has to be one of the most atrocious looks in the entire sports world.
I half expect Tarvaris Jackson to morph into a duck and quack his way out of the offensive backfield.
If the fashion police could press charges, I fully believe that whoever created this uniform would probably get sentenced to a year of watching Project Runway.
It isn't like Seattle went from one of the best uniforms in the league to one of the worst in the matter of a couple seasons. This is a franchise that has always left something to be desired when it comes to fashion.
At least their stadium is absurdly awesome.
Horrible stuff here.
1. Cleveland Browns
An orange helmet. Really?
The Cleveland Browns aren't just a laughing stock of a franchise, apparently they are color blind. Of course patriarch Paul Brown didn't do Cleveland any favors when he named the team after himself.
NFL writer for Draft Hub, Jared Counterman, had the following to say about this topic when I posed the question on Twitter yesterday. "Their uniforms very well could have been inspired by something Paul Brown left in a toilet."
I think that sums it up best.
Still, what would you rather have them do? It isn't like Cleveland can go with the awesome combination of red and black in their unis. Brown pretty much guaranteed that over a half century ago.
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