Word Life Vol. 18 WWE: THE MOVIE

AkDSenior Writer IFebruary 17, 2009

WWE Productions, iM Inspiration Ent, Word Life productions, and The Dynasty Manifesto presents WWE: The Movie!

John Cena wasn't your ordinary man, he was a rapper, a thug, a hustler. He pledged allegiance to the streets as it was about loyalty and respect. Cena was the freestyle rap battle champion at his local community center. He defeated all challengers from R-Truth to a guy named Jimmy, who was the biggest guy at the community center.

Young John Cena has his life turned upside down when he is exposed to radiation from a nearby chemical plant that had a meltdown one day. He goes home feeling strange. Cena downplays the situation and goes to school the next day. He plays on the varsity football team and hopes to get a scholarship one day.

Cena is just a bench warmer as Dave Batista is the star player on his football team. He can bench press a couple of hundreds and just has too many muscles. Cena was so angry because he believed he was better than Batista. He slammed all he lockers with such rage. He never realized how strong he was. Cena was stronger than he ever was and ran home to investigate.

Slowly, he learned new abilities. The first one was oscillating his hand in a taunting motion and dropping it. Cena named it the "5 Knuckle Shuffle." The next day went to practice one day and the superintendent was on the field.

"There have been some wrong doings in the locker room", said the man. Cena heart beated faster and faster, but he stood quiet.

"Silence huh? Don't want to be the snitch?! No worries I have caught the culprit!"..

Cena's hands got larger and he was sweating a fountain.

"Batista, you have brought shame to the McMahon university. You have taken STERIODS".

Batista hulked up pounded his fist...then cried. "I needed it! I AM THE ANIMAL!" He pleaded.

Cena was happy in the inside as well as grateful that he didn't get busted for banging up the lockers. Batista was kicked off the team. Batista tried to join the soccer team. They laughed at him, but gave him a shot. Coach Regal wanted to see if he can play like the Europeans. The star player of the soccer team pulled up in a BMW. Randall Orton was the pretty boy and had popular girl Kelly Kelly by on his arm. Behind him were Cody and Ted, his "crew". They went with Randall everywhere.

"Why is Bastistaroid here?!" Randall snickered.

"He wanted to try out for us" said coach Regal.

Batista glared Orton and winked at Kelly. "I hope your skills are are big as your muscles". Kelly Kelly smiled.

"That's not the only thing that's big", Batista flirted back.

Randall was enraged and started to hear voices in his head. Randall was good on his feet and juked Batista left and right. Batista pulled his hamstring as Randall went for the goal kick. Batista fell and  knocked the ball out of bounds. Randall couldn't stop the kick and punted Batista right in the head.

"OH MY BLOODY GOD!" Coach Regal ran out to the field.

Randall had this look on his face as if he was scared. Ted and Cody came and grabbed him. All 3 of them left with Kelly Kelly. Batista would miss a year if school due to serious brain damage.

Rey and Kofi freshmen, were being bullied by the gruesome two-some Michael Knox and Kane. Knox and Kane hung Rey upside down and took his lunch money. Afterwards they stuffed him in his locker. Kofi was trying to get away but Knox and Kane cornered him. They had gave kofi a black eye.

Young rhymer Ron Killings was late for class. He came in late and caused chaos. WHAT'S UP! He yelled to his classmates and gave handshakes to everyone.

"ENOUGH!" Mr. Jericho was fed up. "I have to deal with you waste of sperm call students! I am too good to teach you little brats. Your all hypocrites and you don't deserved to experience my teaching greatness". Jericho finished up.

"WHAT'S UP!" R-Truth continued as if he never heard what Jericho said. Jericho gave the entire class an F, and told them they can at least bump it up to a D minus if they wrote a 500,000 word paper on why Jericho is the best teacher.

"I don't understand" said Kung Fu Naki.

Kung Fu Naki was the special exchange student in the class.

"GET A TRANSLATOR!...I WANT THAT PAPER FIRST THING TOMORROW ON MY DESK OR YOU'LL HAVE TO REPEAT THE CLASS!" Jericho stormed out of the room. Everyone was scared as they looked at Paul Wright (Big Show), who was a sophomore for 5 years.

Randall had to go to the counselor Lilian Garcia.

"What's wrong Randall?" She asked.

"Sometimes....I hear voices in my head", Randall replied.

Garcia gave Randall an appointment with the headmaster, Vincent K. McMahon. Randall gulped. Anyone who ever went to McMahon's office never came out.

Montell Porter (MVP) arrived for drama class. Everyone had to introduce themselves. Time went by slowly. "Hi! My name is Maria!" One girl said. She couldn't figure out her last name.

"Hi! I'm Dolph Ziggler! Another one added.

Porter was texting on his T-Mobile Wing when the lights went out. The spotlight came to the stage and a mic dropped down. "MR. KENNNNEEDY!!!" This guy had quite the introduction. "OK", said Ms. Mae Young. "How about we..... "KEN-NE-DY!", The guy finished.It was Montell's turn, but the bell rang. All of the students flocked to lunch.

The Smackdowncafeteria was like a school landmark. Many students left their mark here. Coach Austin even got Rock-Bottomed on a lunch table in the cafeteria. J.R. was serving up some good smoking BBQ ribs. It was the best food on the menu. The entire school had t protest for J.R.'s good BBQ after food inspector Matt Striker, tried to turn the school into vegetarians.

Carlito had an apple, then arm wrestled his brother Primo Colon. Everyone loved arm wrestling. Brain Kendrick and Jamie Noble two students, joined in. The fun came to a halt when a new student came. He was big and had a square head. He challenged everyone...and beat them all with ease.

"Who are you?!" Brian asked in fear.

"I am Vladimir Koslov. I have came to the cafeteria for COMPETITION!"

Everyone took two steps back from the new Russian monster. The entire lunch period was continued...in silence.

Many students chose to stay in the cafeteria because the playground was just too extreme. Teddy Long ran the playground outside and embraced the extreme. Jack Swagger ran the playground. He was also the star Quarterback for the football team. Swagger ruled the playground and won at everything. He was he best at the extreme jungle gym, and extreme hopscotch.

Tommy Dreamer was an old school playground legend. He used to be able to hang with best. In his prime he hanged with other legends/alumni such as Sabu, Sandman, Tazz and Terry Funk. Dreamer couldn't even win a game of extreme rock paper scissors. No one would stand up to Swagger. Teddy Long had announced that an old student was returning to the playground, and then Christian entered.

He had transfered back to the McMahon academy from the TNA (Total Nonsense Academy).

He was back and he would now challenge Swagger for the king of the extreme playground. Back in the hallway, the popular girls came through. Michelle McCool, Melina Perez, and Maryse made up the "Mc2Cool crew" and they ran every party...and students' social lives. "We're like having a party tonight!" Michelle yelled. Every student knew that getting an invitation knew that you were "McCool".

The class clown Santino Marella tried to get an invitation. He was shot down. The girls teased him. A girl from the wrestling team came to his aid. Her name was Beth Phoenix. She grabbed Melina and tossed her all around the hallway. The Mc2Cool crew jumped in and chaos erupted. Stalker Rosa Mendes, jumped in and so did Jillian Hall, the school's worst singer. It got out of control and raged throughout the hallways.

The Cops were notified and arrived on scene. Officer Paul Heyman led his "extreme" police force through the hallways and ended the brawl. Heyman was about to take the girls down to the station when he is blood hound dog Hunter Helmsly sniffed something.

Hunter never let Heyman down before. He had the best nose in the nation....maybe the world.

Hunter led Heyman to the school roof where Kofi and honor straight-edge student CM Punk, were caught smoking marijuana.  Kofi was arrested and Punk was kicked off the dean's list and arrested too. Cena wasn't feeling to good in Mr. Michaels' class, so he asked to go to the bathroom. "Hi Shawn", The Bella twins said in unison. Mr. Michaels waved back. He was the coolest teacher in school. Every girl liked him, and every guy looked up to him.

Cena passed by sculpture class, where students were learning to carve a "masterlock" for Mr. Masters, the teacher. Cena also passed by the GYM where Coach Austin was yelling at the students.

"Give me 50 push-ups son...WHAT?!" Austin yelled.

"But coach"...said Ricky Ortiz. "WHAT?! I said give me 100 push-ups and that's the bottom line cause coach Austin said so!"

Every student did what was told from there on then. Cena had reached the bathroom and washed his face. His veins tightened and he learned another new move. He learned the Attitude Adjuster. Finlay the hall monitor was lurking the hallways and Cena didn't have have a pass. He ran into Shad and JTG, two shady students who sold him a hallway pass.

Finlay confronted Cena and told him his pass was fake. Cena said he'll go bak to class.

"Not so fast", said Finlay.

"My name is Finlay and I love to fight!" Finlay pounced on Cena, who overpowered him with massive strength and then learned a new move. John had put Finlay in the STFU.

Elsewhere, the Hardy Boyz were up to no good as they were skateboarding in the hallways and doing graffiti. They were caught by Dean Bischoff.

"What do you think your doing?" He said.

"Being extreme..it's mattitude!" said Matt Hardy.

"Your going to detention!" Yelled Bischoff.

The hardys were scared because they knew everyone who went into the RAW detention center never came out. Elijah Burke and Gene Snitsky haven't been seen for months. There have been few survivors of detention. When they come out, they all say the same thing. "Chamber...Elimination". They Hardys surely didn't want to go to a chamber.

Cena had finally escaped Finlay. He was in the basement and passed by the boiler room "HAVE A NICE DAY!" Cena heard a mysterious voice and ran like a marine. The urban legend around there is that the spirit of Mankind lives down there. Rumor has it that Mankind is actually down there, but everyone fears the stench of smelly socks to further investigate.

John Bradshaw Layfield the history teacher had quit and left for Wall Street. The students awaited a new teacher to torment and the lights went out. All of a sudden the lights came back on and there was a guy who rolled his eyes back. Lightning struck a tree outside ad everyone was quiet.

"I'm Mark Callaway, your new teacher. You will do what I say when I say it or else".He said.

"Or else what?!" said Paul Wright.

"YOU WILL REST..... IN ..... PIECE"! Mr. Callaway never got any disruptions after that.

Shawn Michaels was having problems with his class. Everyone was just too cool with him and he needed to get more serious. He went to vice principle Vickie Guerrero and asked for the best writing teaching assistant. Vickie bought Uno to Michaels' class. The class were talking their lives away.

"Excuse me".....they still talked.

"Excuse me"...they kept on.

"EXCUSE ME!!!" The windows shattered and everyone became silent.

The class was introduced to jimmy, a kid who wrote at the community center and wrote for the school paper. He also like rapping.

"listen up", he started.

"it's okay I'm here to help". He continued. "Listen up BRATS!" He was aggraveted.

Before Jimmy spoke again, Cena stood up.

"Yo! you straight up garbage!" The class erupted.

"You got served on a sliver platter lika big fish", Santino added.

"DAMN!" Ron Simmons the janitor passed by as he buffered the floor.

Jimmy and John went at each other in a stare down. Jimmy then challenged John to a rap battle next period in the people's auditorium. This was going to be the most electrifying rap battle ever. Next period the battle took place. Cena went first. (Light fades)

"His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There is vomit on his sweater already
Moms Spaghetti he's nervous
But on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth but the words won't come out
He's choking, how? Everybody's jokin' now
The clock's run out, time's up, over BLOW!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked, he's so mad
But he won't give up that easy, no he won't have it. This anin't enough the Doctor of Thuganomics, they haven't "CENA NUFF"

Cena rips Jimmy with a 9 mile verse and jimmy losses before he can even say a word.

John had an epiphany and realized that he wants to wrestle. John quits the football team, and heads for the wrestling team. Cena puts his hoody back on and leaves.

Randall is still dreading that fact that he'll see headmaster McMahon later. Rumor has it that he's going to get expelled. Ric Flair, Rowdy Piper, and Hulk Hogan teaching legends, return to the school after receiving disturbing news. An entire class had failed with F grades.

"HOW IS THAT BRUTHA!" said Hogan.

"They are brats and don't deserve my teaching skills". Jericho walked in and demanded that he gets a raise for teaching ungrateful brats.

"I am teacher of the year. I am better than these washed up pathetic low lives who are all puppets". "DO YOUR LITTLE TRICKS LIKE A DOG", Jericho continued.

Everyone stated arguing and Vince didn't have time for it. Vince had an appointment with Randall Orton. Vickie and Eric settled the issues.

Randall knew he would get expelled. He was the star player and was going to meet his fate. As he walked down the hallway, he heard voices. Rey was screaming when Mike Knox attacked him, the Mc2Cool crew made plans to sabotage Goludust's chances at winning best dressed in the year book, and he heard the special education class.

Umaga and Khali were great students, but were placed in there due to their lack of English or Spanish. The class also contained Boogeyman, Festus, and AJ Styles, who failed French umpteen times and knew he was an a-hole.

Cena was getting stronger and stronger. He started to believe that he was Superman. He went to the weight room and bench pressed 3 times more than what Mark Henry, the world's strongest student did. Bowlmania was coming up soon and Cena wanted to be apart if it. He quited the football team, but he joined he wrestling team. Cena overpowered everyone there and got a shot at the best technical wrestler around, Shelton Benjamin.

He is an all American and was trained by Olympic gold medalist, Kurt Angle. The match between the two for the title went on. The gym was locked so there was NO WAY OUT. The ref was blindsided as Adam Copeland came from the bleachers ands speared Cena. He pushed Shelton aside ad pinned Cena down on the mat.

"1,2,3 we have a new champion!" said the ref as he rung the bell.

Cena was livid and would hold a grudge against Copeland, who secretly had a relationship with Dean Vickie. Randall had finally arrived at Vince's office. He wanted to go to bowlmania so bad. He entered the office and pleaded his case to Vince.

"It was an accident, Dave's head got in the way" said a pleading Randall.

Vince nodded and went for the dreadful words. "Randall Orton, Your EX..."

Randall slapped him on his desk, then punted his head. Randall was in shock. Police came as Vince went into a coma and Randall left with Cody and Ted. Orton rested for two weeks and the academy was in chaos.

Stephanie and Shane finally came and didn't want to expell Orton. They were going to bench him at bowlmania. Randall became furious and he punted Shane as well. Stephanie screamed for help and Heyman came with the police force. Randall then hit Stephanie.

The police broke up the whole fight and paramedics rushed to the scene. Heyman didn't have enough evidence to arrest Randall. Hunter Heyman's dog, broke off the leash ad attacked Randall. Cody and Ted dragged Randall out of harm's way. The next week Heyman was still investigating the scene. Vickie was next in line to hold power.

Randall wasn't dealing with Hunter that day, so he brought is own dog, a wolf, a Ultimate Dog Warrior and told it to attck Hunter. The two dogs fought. Shad and JTG appeared from nowhere and placed bets on the fight. Everyone placed their bets and Heyman stopped it. He now had video footage of  Randall telling his dog to fight Hunter. Both dogs were rushed to the hospital.

"Randall Orton, your under arrest!"

Heyman had arrested Orton and he was convicted on all charges of punting, malicious attacks, ad dog fighting. Randall got the Michael Vick treatment while Batista had gotten the A-Rod/A-Roid treatment. The last weeks had passed by and John Cena defeated Adam Copeland at bowlmania and became Superman as he learned x-ray vision, heat vision, ice breath, super speed, and super strength. Cena would learn the shoulder block, which enabled him to fly. Thanks for reading.


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