Robert Kraft's Girlfriend: Patriots Owner and Ricki Lander Star in Odd Audition

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Robert Kraft's Girlfriend: Patriots Owner and Ricki Lander Star in Odd Audition
Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

What you are about to see is, well, just really strange. Unless you don't think watching an NFL owner participate in an audition tape is bizarre, that is.

Bob Kraft appeared in an audition tape with his girlfriend, Ricki Noel Lander, and delivered a performance reminiscent of Robert De Niro in Raging Bull. OK, so actually his performance was closer to Keanu Reeves acting in a small-town theater company's interpretation of Raging Bull, but who's counting?

Hilarity to ensue (and explicit language, so be forewarned: NSFW).

UPDATE: Wednesday, July 11 at 2:10 p.m. ET

Kraft has released a statement in regard to the audition tape (via Pro Football Talk):

“I tried to help Ricki prepare an audition tape for an upcoming Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy by reading Wilson’s lines,” Kraft said in a statement from the team.  “I never intended that it would be made public and I regret that it has.  I think we can all agree that Owen Wilson has nothing to worry about. I am going to stick to my day job.”

At least Kraft has a sense of humor about the whole thing, though if he ever finds out how the video was released online, he may be a bit less gregarious in his response.

__________END OF UPDATE__________

Lander was auditioning for a Vince Vaughn movie, according to Toucher and Rich.

I'm not going to critique Lander's performance here because, let's be honest, she didn't exactly have the best supporting cast. Besides, acting is hard and scary, and if my audition tape made its way to YouTube, I don't think I would appreciate some smug writer taking shots at me.

But Mr. Kraft's performance deserves a closer inspection.

For one thing, Kraft delivers his lines in the most labored way possible. He pushes the words out of his mouth like you would push away a zombie trying to chew on your neck for lunch.There is unnatural delivery, and then there is Kraft's delivery.

And those dance moves?

Let's just say Bob won't be appearing on Dancing with the Stars anytime soon. He's all chips and no salsa. I think he calls that dance move "The Doggie Paddle."

But the punch scene changed everything (cough). Oh yes, the punch scene. So riveting. So much emotion. You could really feel his character's anger in that moment. The beast inside him awoke. His rage became our rage. His struggle became our struggle.

I don't know if Lander will get the part, but I know this much—they better find a place for Kraft in that movie. His talent has gone undiscovered for too long. The world needs him on the silver screen.

Oh, and kudos to Kraft for helping out his girlfriend with the audition tape. I'm sure he didn't plan on becoming a star actor in the process.

Hit me up on Twitter—my tweets dominate like the Williams sisters at Wimbledon.

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