Dan Morgan Can't Stay Away

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Dan Morgan Can't Stay Away

 

danmorgan

Dan Morgan, the former Pro Bowl linebacker who can’t stay healthy to save his life, is returning to the NFL.

“‘I know what everybody thinks on the outside. They think I’m crazy for coming back,’ Morgan told The Associated Press by phone from his home in Charlotte. “You read the things that people say. Everybody’s got their opinions and they’re entitled to that. But my family is behind me, my friends are behind me. That’s really all that matters.”

No, Dan, I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re dumb. Crazy is being whacked in the head and needing meds to make it through the day. Crazy people are often complicated creatures. Dumb people are very simple creatures. You’re a simple creature, Dan. You fall somewhere between a poodle and a zucchini.

You didn’t think this one through, did you? You didn’t sit down and outline the pros and cons like you were taught in elementary school. You just figured you’d keep on playing until you can’t walk or talk anymore.

Hopefully you’ll wise up in a couple years when you’ve been beaten up so badly that even your penis has been twisted like a balloon into some weird shape. You know, something like this. Until then, I wish you the best of luck.

Original image via Noah

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