The NBA All-Star Weekend Celebrity Basketball Game is the worst part of this weekend. It combines...

• An annoying ESPN “talent” like Stu Scott living out his wettest dream of mingling with half-his-age NBA superstars as they watch from courtside seats.

• Fat former NBA stars like Dominique Wilkins, whose nickname has been changed from “The Human Highlight Film” to “The Human Donut Eater.”

• Token WNBA players like Lisa Leslie, who lost any remaining trace of dignity by screaming at the official over a bad call alongside Chris Tucker and Donald Faison.

• Four members of the Harlem Globetrotters, who are so famous that nobody seemed to know their full names.

• Terrell Owens.

This wasn’t just bad TV—it was bad TV. Surely, ESPN had something more crucial to air.

Like air.