"Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting wings!"
At least, that's what I'd imagine Elmer Fudd would sound like if he were an NBA veteran hoping to sign with the Miami Heat via free agency. After all, if you had a hankering for a title and were willing to take a ginormous pay cut to do it, wouldn't you want to play with LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh?
Such are the spoils of victory for any champion to which the label of "dynasty" might be accurately applied in the years to come. It doesn't matter if said champion is pressed up against (and well over) the cap like Ron Burgundy melting down in a phone booth, so long as there are aging stars out there with some fuel left in the tank and a willingness to stuff themselves into creases in pursuit of glory.
And by small creases, I mean whatever financial flexibility Pat Riley can create by digging for change in the couch cushions at AmericanAirlines Arena. The Heat are on the hook for just over $78.5 million in salaries next season, which puts them approximately $20 million over the cap and $8 million into luxury tax territory.
It's hard to blame the old guys for being so accommodating, though. What dude on his last professional legs wouldn't want to use said legs to spark a dance craze that may or may not sweep the nation?
Luckily for the Heat, this year's crop of free agents is particularly long on fogies who've stashed more millions than Brewster and would presumably be open to signing for the veterans' minimum.