Summer: The Dead Season, When Time Stands Still

Evan GreenbergContributor IJune 27, 2012

One of the few joys of summer is watching Joey Chestnut stuff his face in Nathan's Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest.
One of the few joys of summer is watching Joey Chestnut stuff his face in Nathan's Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest.Yana Paskova/Getty Images

Everyone looks forward to summertime, when going to the beach, sunbathing, partying at night and vacationing take priority.  

As a sports fan, I hate the summer.  The only events that I have to look forward to are Wimbledon, the home run hitting contest at the All-Star game, the Olympics (this year), the Travers Stakes, and Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.  Outside of that, I have to find ways to be productive with my time, and my wife can say, "What are you doing?" and I have to answer, "Nothing productive."  

It is a very frustrating time of year.

As I sit here watching a completely meaningless game between San Diego and Houston, I am completely amazed at the lack of viewing choices for the next two months.  It is completely appalling for the real sports fan.  

For example, tonight's lineup on ESPN2 features slow-pitch softball and MSG+ has bull riding.  Every eight seconds the network needs to go to a commercial break.  That is a fairly depressing lineup.

Tomorrow night's highlights include more softball on ESPN2 and Olympic Trials on NBC Sports (there are very few things more boring than watching people compete for the right to compete).  At this pace, I long for reruns of "The World's Strongest Man Competition" sponsored by MetRx.  Magnus Ver Magunussen, where are you?

Thankfully, the Mets are entertaining and watchable this year, and I need to be productive and start losing weight.  Therefore, "The Dead Season" is an overt blessing, not even a blessing in disguise.  

This weekend, there is absolutely nothing to watch, and Joey Chestnut has so completely vanquished Kobayashi that while he has truly become the American icon of competitive eating, he has taken some of the fun out of the hot dog eating contest, which will broadcast live on ESPN on July 4.  

I now long to watch Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, as she tries to beat other contestants like Tim "Eater X" Janus.  I already miss "Cookie" Jarvis and "Badlands" Booker.

It is only one week after the NBA Finals ended, and I can't wait for pennant races and the football season. I need to figure out what I should do to be more productive, as the monotony of only having baseball is mind-numbing, even though it is my favorite sport.  

ESPN should cut their nightly Top 10 in half because it is a real slow season.  I yearn for more sports and less productivity, and I will have to wait until we get closer to Labor Day.  

Have a great summer,everyone.  

I hate it.