Merry draft day eve, everyone! Tomorrow at 7 PM on ESPN we get to witness the TV event of the year. If you don't believe me, just check out all of the awesome things about the NBA draft.
Every year, we're guaranteed at least one Jalen Rose or Joakim Noah—AKA someone wearing a ridiculous suit but pretending it's totally normal. My guess this year? Anthony Davis. If he's daring enough to have a unibrow, he's absolutely willing to push fashion boundaries by wearing a bow tie.
We also get to see every player's entourage, which is the most underrated part of the draft. You never know what you're gonna get. We've even seen European players kiss everyone (gender apparently being irrelevant) who came with them.
Speaking of European, there's the endless novelty of watching David Stern trying to pronounce their names. Here's one of my personal favorites: Ndudi Ebi. Apparently, all draft-night footage of Nikoloz Tskitishvili has been destroyed...otherwise he'd warrant a video.
That's just the auxiliary stuff. This is also one of the better draft classes in recent memory, and it will shape the league for the next decade.
Davis is going to go first, and if you're not excited about him pairing up with a healthy Eric Gordon, you're either a Heat fan or you simply don't like basketball.
Then we're going to see guys like Bradley Beal, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Andre Drummond and Thomas Robinson come off of the board.
The second-best player in the draft (Kidd-Gilchrist) is inexplicably going to fall to No. 4 or 5, but I guess things like defense and toughness don't mean much in today's NBA.
Meanwhile, Kwame Brown 2.0 (Drummond) is going to be picked in the top seven. You'd think teams would learn their lesson with these guys somewhere between Darko and Hasheem Thabeet. Guess not.
I'm praying the Bobcats somehow end up with Drummond. I always love draft-night symmetry.
We're going to see Perry Jones III, someone consistently described as an underachiever, get taken before Jared Sullinger, a two-time All American, because of terms like "upside" and "wingspan." Have you ever heard Marv Albert say "his upside is winning them this game"?
Of course not, but that's not how the draft works.
NBA GMs have a pretty bad track record when it comes to figuring out who should go when. There are diamonds in the rough every year. This year, it's going to be Iowa State's Royce White. He's a do-it-all forward who led the Cyclones into the NCAA tournament but is falling because of an admitted fear of flying.
It's also going to be Michigan State's Draymond Green, someone Chad Ford described as "Shane Battier 2.0." Green is going to fall because he doesn't have much upside, but he was a great college player who always produced.
If that isn't enough to get you watching tomorrow night, remember this: Dwight Howard is out there, and he is very much available. Houston is the one known team trying to get him, but I'm sure there are others. We could see the league's best center get traded tomorrow night.
So get your popcorn (or six pack if you're playing the Bilas drinking game) ready. It's going to be a great night.