Allow me to preface this rant by saying that this has zero to do with John Cena as a person.
I respect the man for the things he has done outside the ring. I don't care who you are, you have to respect someone who has granted 300 wishes. This is strictly about John Cena the "character".
With that being said, I have tried, tried and tried again. Really, I have.
I have sat through the goofy promos, the no-selling against just about every single one of his opponents—both on the mic and in the ring—and I have watched the Shoulder Block of Doom overcome wrestlers who wrestle better in their sleep.
Through it all, I have put up with it. I have dealt with it only because once in a great while, the guy can be carried to a good match with the right opponent.
But last night's Raw finally cut it for me.
A Star Wars promo? Really?
That's it. I'm done.
And let's not forget his "historic" announcement. He'll be participating in the Money in the Bank ladder match.
I guess I should thank you, John. You saved me from debating whether or not to buy the PPV.
We all know what's going to happen: Every other guy in the match will have a chance to win until Super Cena shows up and steals a victory from the jaws of defeat, while any fan over the age of 10 watching this travesty farts on him or herself in a raging sea of apathy.
This will lead to months of stupid "Loser!" promos like the one he did with Big Johnny, or laughing in his opponent's face (Rocky, are you listening?) while the other guy cuts a promo on him because, heaven forbid, Cena might make his opponent look like a credible threat if he wasn't so busy mugging for the cameras.
Please, Vince McMahon, if you are reading this, I'm begging you: Take this guy off of TV for a few months. Remember the pop he got at the Garden when he showed up at the Rumble after an injury?
Just a little time away would be ideal. I'm getting tired of gagging on Fruity Pebbles every damn week.