1. Ken Shamrock WILL fight again.

2. And Ken Shamrock WILL lose, while looking totally shot, again.

3. Experts and fans WILL doubt Fedor Emelianenko.

4. And, once again, he WILL shut them all up (at least temporarily).

5. Grandma Dee WILL support GSP, no matter what.

6. And we WILL all still love her for it.

7. We WILL get to see another Tito Ortiz fight shirt.

8. And he WILL also show how good of a commentator he has the potential to become.

9. Lyoto Machida WILL remain undefeated, despite never actually fighting properly.

10. Joe Rogan WILL break his own record by shouting out "Ohh!" 265,789 times in a single night.

11. Brock Lesnar WILL defeat Frank Mir

12. And the haters WILL still hate on him.

13. UFC WILL, in general, keep getting better, while everything else goes downhill.

14. Tim Sylvia WILL fight again.

15. And absolutely nobody WILL care.

I know this is a bit different from what I usually do, but I wanted to give it a try. Thanks for reading.

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