Miami Heat Parade 2012: Which Heat Player Will Be This Year's Mark Madsen?

Ben ChodosCorrespondent IIJune 24, 2012

MIAMI, FL - JUNE 21:  Team owner Micky Arison of the Miami Heat holds up the Larry O'Brien Championship trophy as he celebrates with his players after they won 121-106 against the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game Five of the 2012 NBA Finals on June 21, 2012 at American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Mark Madsen provided a priceless moment in the Los Angeles Lakers’ 2001 championship celebration. Fans can only hope that a Miami Heat player will be as hilariously awkward as the L.A. benchwarmer.

In all likelihood, no NBA player will ever display dance moves so terrible again, but that does not mean that every Heat player is capable of busting a move.

When the crowd is cheering, the music is blasting and everyone on stage starts to get in the groove, some players might get lost in the moment and try to pull off some ill-advised booty shaking.

With many first-time champions, no one knows for sure which players will have grace and rhythm, and which players will look like they lost all control over their extremities. 

Based on each man’s playing style, here are the players to keep an eye on during the Heat’s celebration at 11 a.m. ET Monday, as they may unleash some Madsen-esque moves.



Yes, the one white guy on the Heat roster tops the list. The fact that white people can't dance was conclusively proven by Madsen’s disjointed display in 2001, and Miller is the leading candidate to add evidence to this theory. 

Miller’s injury struggles have clearly effected his movement, and he hobbled around the floor most of the season.

The ailments certainly hampered his game, but he dug deep in Game 5 of the finals and pulled out 23 electrifying points. Now, fans can only hope that he entertains them once more with a few terrible dance moves. 

Even when Miller was healthy, his game was anything but graceful. If there is one embarrassingly bad dance routine at the parade, odds are it will come from Miller.



Battier is another player whose game lacks grace and style, although it is certainly effective.

Youtube has provided the public with irrefutable evidence that Battier cannot sing, but the video below only briefly shows a few dance moves. 

Battier’s gyrations certainly don’t measure up to Madsen’s on the “awful scale,”,but he’s also no John Wall.

However, the song choice does shed light on Battier’s history on the dance floor. If he had chosen a tune by a smooth-stepper like Michael Jackson or even MC Hammer, Battier might not be on this list.



Howard is on the list because he is old. He is 39 and has been in the league since 1994, so it’s difficult to imagine that he still has the cartilage in his knees to really cut a rug.

Even if Howard is a surprisingly proficient dancer, his club-hopping prime was likely from 1994-1997. I doubt the parade planners are going to be playing any Boyz II Men. 

He has played the role of the seasoned, reserved veteran during his two seasons in Miami, so it would be unlikely that he really lets loose now. 

However, if there is any moment during his tenure in Miami in which he throws all reservations to the wind, it will be the championship celebration. Maybe a little Ace of Base will get him moving?