"Please continue going to class. That is all I ask of you."
Rise and shine, friends. Here's what's going down in the Big Ten today.
— Michigan's multi-year APR score of 943 was noted here yesterday, and we attributed the relatively low number to the inevitable number of defections when it comes to a coaching change. We were right...sort of.
As MGoBlog notes, the real albatross on Michigan's APR is from Rich Rodriguez's first year, when Michigan registered an 897. However, per Michael Rothstein of ESPN.com, Brady Hoke guided his program to a 984 APR score for his first year in the program. A 984 in a coaching transition year. We hope people just throw large sums of money at Brady Hoke as he walks down the street in Ann Arbor; he deserves it.
— Ohio State joined in the Big Ten special teams recruiting jamboree with its commitment from punter Johnny Townsend this week, per Eleven Warriors. Townsend attended camp at Ohio State this past weekend, and when Eleven Warriors contacted him yesterday, he had nothing but great things to say about the program and Urban Meyer. Which, yeah, obviously.
— According to the Columbus Dispatch, Former Ohio State quarterback Stanley Jackson is in hot water after being appointed to the Ohio school board despite not submitting a resume and apparently falsifying information about founding a charter school. When asked, Ohio governor John Kasich said the lack of resume "is simply not Germaine" to the discussion. Get it? Look folks, I have Stanley Jackson/Joe Germaine references for days over here. If you don't like it, you can go read cereal boxes or whatever.
— Per the Lincoln Journal-Star, Nebraska chancellor Harvey Perlman is "disappointed" by the playoff proposal recently agreed upon by commissioners. Now if you'll excuse us, we're off to pull every remaining hair from our heads and shriek violently while we stare at the sun. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NICE THINGS, HARVEY PERLMAN?!