BR Super Exclusive: The Real Ass-Assins Email Super Exclusively Revealed

Matt BinksCorrespondent IFebruary 11, 2009

Daer Fellow Wriiters and Worssshipers of mee.

 

The tima has cum to takke ovver the Bleaacher retort. We mustt stande up againnsst all the bulllies and people who say that i am rubbisshk.

 Howw can I bee rubbissshk whenn i have write 56,9885 artticles aboutt cristian cage in onee nigght?! Itss ridicullloous.

Too joinn mee and hellp alll the nastty bigger boyz piccking on me you must aggree to the followig, onlly theen will you bee able to becoome an ASS ssasin.

 

1. Eveerything you learnnt in skool must be forgeettn. Grammar and speeeliing is for loooserz, the half retarded way i spelll must be takken onn as a seccret languuage and coode for our brothherhood.

 

2. Originallity and thought is bannned by the brootherhood, insteadd yoou muusst takke a stoory that has allready been publlished onn anotherr websiite annd reporrt it ass your owwn, if yoou putt breakking newz in the headdline and sayy you are in the know about thesse thinggs, thenn peopple will beliive its yours.. I should no, Im number one.

 

3. Yiur girlfriiend, hobbies and pastiimes musst be disgarded,, we have noo rm forr norrmall actiivities in thiss grooup. I eexppect at leastt 456 articless per member, per day.

 

4. Yiou musst tell me how grate I am all the time,, i am No. 1 after all,

 

5. Did i tell u i woz No. 1?

 

If yoo aggree to theese termss come joinn myseelf and fellow mupppets, sorry i meant serious jornalists..

 

Youurs.

 

The No. 2 (thats how u spell won right????)

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