10 Most Annoying NBA Cliches We Wish Would Disappear

By (Correspondent) on June 15, 2012

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I love watching basketball on TV as much as the next guy, but some of the things broadcasters like Mike Breen, Marv Albert and even Kevin Harland say are just cringe-worthy.  Seriously, dear readers, watching basketball today is probably as close as most of us will ever get to seeing the late Henny Youngman perform.  With each game that goes by, I'm starting to wonder if I'm at home on my couch or at a Borscht Belt resort circa 1956.

From hearing Walt "Clyde" Frazier discuss a team that's "swishing and dishing" to the great hullabaloo around the fact that LeBron James has yet to win a championship ring, watching the NBA today has become just about the same thing as attending a cliche convention.

Thus, I present to you 10 cliches about sayings and players alike that would make the world a better place if they just disappeared.

No. 10: The Obsession with "Defensive Stops"

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Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Often during a basketball game, particularly if one team is on a big scoring run, you'll hear a broadcaster say that the trailing team needs a "defensive stop."

Um...quick thought, Mr. Color Commentary Man.  Isn't the whole point of playing defense in basketball to stop the team as often as possible?  By that logic, defensive stops are needed all the time and not just when one team is starting to let the opposition run up the scoreboard.

No. 9: Shooting "Bricks"

As we all know, a horribly bad shot that clanks off of either the rim or the backboard is called a "brick."

Call me one who thinks to literally, but isn't that an odd comparison?  Something tells me a brick wouldn't be able to get as far as the hoop were it shot from 18 feet away...

No. 8: "The Right Way"

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Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

At least a few times a season, I'll hear some broadcaster say that a particular player plays basketball "the right way."

Really?  That's kind of astounding.  I always thought that the multimillion dollar contract and endorsements were things every player got!

No. 7: Being "Money"

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Al Bello/Getty Images

If a player is having a particularly good night, he may be referred to as being "money," a corny synonym for clutch. 

I just have one thing to say to that.  Don't let Floyd Mayweather, Jr. hear anyone using his nickname in that regard.

No. 6: He's on Fire!

Don't get me wrong.  NBA Jam was one of my favorite games as a kid, but it gave broadcasters one of the cheesiest phrases ever to use when a player makes multiple shots in a row.

Please, guys.  Unless the guy has fake flames coming out of his body a la Katniss Everdeen, then pick a new phrase.  This one is over 20 years old and needs to be retired.

No. 5: Our Obsession with Being Above the Rim

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Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

It's the same thing every time.  Player is open in the key, player gets ball, player dunks and then broadcasting crew goes crazy over player's work "above the rim."

What's to go crazy about?  Most NBA players are 6'3" or taller and have great leaping ability.  Thus, shouldn't they do fine work above the rim as it is?

No. 4: Adjustments, Adjustments and More Adjustments

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Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

One thing broadcasters do that drives me crazy is go on and on about players making "adjustments" throughout the game.  Sure, this happens, but it's so overhyped!

Look at it this way.  Say that Chris Bosh is getting destroyed in the low post by Serge Ibaka.  He's going to be thinking throughout the game how to win the battle there.

Also known as...SOMETHING ALL BASKETBALL PLAYERS DO.

No. 3: Durant Mania

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Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Durant is one of the best players in the league and has become one of my favorite players over the past few years, but I've recently come to believe that he gets a bit too much attention.

His Oklahoma City Thunder are in the NBA Finals just a few years after being near the bottom of the NBA cellar, and it seems as though he's getting more credit than he should.  Let's not forget his talented teammates in Russell Westbrook, James Harden and the dangerous Serge Ibaka.

The mania surrounding KD certainly isn't unjustified, but wouldn't it be nice if the media shared the love?

No. 2: Big Three Hype

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Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Alright, people.  We get it.  The Miami Heat have three A-list stars in their starting lineup, so they're automatically a dangerous team.

How about less focus on the stars and a bit more on the fact that their bench supply is practically nonexistent?

No. 1: LeBron James the Ringless Wonder

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Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

I'm seriously starting to get sick and tired about people going crazy over the fact that LeBron James doesn't have a championship on his resume.  He's a three-time MVP with eight All-Star selections under his belt, so why hasn't he hoisted the Larry O'Brien trophy over his head yet?

I have one message to those people: RELAX!  Last I checked, James is just 27 years old.  Should he not win a title this year, he'll have plenty of time to continue that quest.

More importantly, I don't want to hear another word about how Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant were younger when they won their first rings.  They played on much deeper teams than the current Miami Heat, so they shouldn't even be part of the equation.

That said, give LeBron and his bare ring finger a rest!

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