The 12 Athletes with the Greatest Dating Resumes

Nick Dimengo@@itsnickdimengoFeatured ColumnistJune 14, 2012

The 12 Athletes with the Greatest Dating Resumes

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    It's no secret that athletes score some serious ace. And while we all hoped that one day the appeal of a football player would wear off for gorgeous girls, the fact is, even after high school, it didn't.

    As frustrating as it might be, you can't really blame chicks. I mean, the same athletes they're gawking over, are the ones that can send you to tears on any given Sunday. That's some power they've got.

    While we may never know what it's like to be with a girl like Irina Shayk or Gisele Bundchen, we can certainly claim to lead in the Google search department...but trust us, we'd much rather shack with them.

12. Evan Longoria

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    Just like Longoria's baseball career, he got called up to the bigs early and supplanted himself as an All-Star before anyone knew how good he actually was.

    Same could be said for the way his relationship with Playmate girlfriend Jaime Edmondson went, as she was his first real catch (and home run).

    Justifying how hot Edmondson is isn't really necessary, but Longoria takes a hit since his resume's not as stacked as some of the other dudes on our list.

11. Jay Cutler

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    We're going with quality over quantity on this one, because Cut-dog really stepped his game up by landing Kristin Cavallari...who is mega-hot.

    Let's face it, when your hometown is Santa Claus, Ind., which we reluctantly admit we've visited before, it's tough to think you'll land a SoCal stunner like K-Cav, but Cutler was able to pull it off.

    Just like he proved doubters wrong when he played for Vandy in college, raising that program, and becoming a first-round pick, he was able to work his way under the sheets with this blonde bombshell.

10. Tiger Woods

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    Say whatever you want about his morals and practices, but while he was out adulterating his wife (who just so happened to be a model herself) he was out slanging some serious broads.

    Were they the classiest girls out there? Ehh, probably not. And though he never technically dated them, he still earns a spot here.

9. Kelly Slater

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    To be completely honest, had we made this list say, five years ago, Slater may have easily crept his way into a top-3 spot. But as it stands now, though still impressive, he finds himself in the lower tier of fortunate athletes.

    The king of surfing was once coupled with Pamela Anderson. This was still when people thought Pam was hot, also making her an Internet phenomenon for 15-year-old boys...not that we know why?

    He also got cozy with Cameron Diaz for awhile, and, lest we forget, he was the last bro Gisele dated before she became Mr. Brady. What a major wipe out for letting that one go.

    Seeing how he landed his current wife Kalani Miller, it's really tough to feel sorry for the guy.

8. Brad Penny

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    Penny's unfortunately a product of his own success on this list. He seems to always find a way to lock arms with some hot girls, but we never truly know how? Yet he doesn't possess what it takes to land much higher than No. 8.

    His most famous girl was Alyssa Milano, who we're definitely sure he showed Who Was Boss...get it? After seeing what a big baseball fan she is, Penny lost some points for hooking up with such a jersey chaser, albeit a hot one.

    He also crossed home with the amazing Eliza Dushku, and within the past six months called off his engagement to Dancing With the Stars sexpot Karina Smirnoff. Again, what's his magic?

7. Jason Kidd

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    It's clear the future Hall of Famer carries the same court vision with him off the hardwood, because he's landed some serious babes.

    Kidd's most famous broad was Playmate Hope Dworaczyk, who famously showed her support for the PG by wearing his painted-on jersey for SI.

    In addition to Dworaczyk, Kidd was married to stunner Joumana Kidd for 10 years, and after divorcing her, moved on to marry model Porschla Coleman.

    Seems to us J-Kidd knows how to assist a lot of chicks...into his bedroom!

6. Tony Romo

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    We admit, it irks us putting Romo here. We never thought a dude who looks like a Newsie would ever be able to pull in the women he does, but I guess that's why he's a starting QB, and we're sitting here researching how hot his dating record is?

    Romo clearly liked the blonde-hair, blue-eyed type, as his list includes the likes of Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood, and wife (and former Miss Oklahoma) Candice Crawford.

    For as much heat as he gets for coming up short all the time, he really likes to surround himself with sizzling girls.

5. Andy Roddick

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    Yep, that happened. What are we talking about? We're referring to the fact that Roddick; all tennis-playing, Stifler-looking of him, wedded one of the sexiest ladies on planet in Brooklyn Decker. We'd say: Advantage Roddick.

    On top of nailing that ace, Roddick made a racket with fellow tennis player Maria Sharapova, had a one-night fling with Paris Hilton (okay, maybe a little longer), and a much-publicized relationship with singer Mandy Moore.

    Dude might struggle in big matches, but he holds his own with big-time hotties.

4. Tom Brady

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    We know what you're thinking: How can Tom Terrific possibly only stand at No. 4 on this list? But before the calls of blasphemy from our readers, let us explain.

    While he certainly had it in his day (and still gets to go home to this every night) we're dropping him points because he decided to put that "Don't Talk To Me" on Gisele's gorgeous little finger, officially retiring from the dating scene.

    Trust us, there's absolutely nothing wrong with calling Bundchen your wife, but before doing so, he was bagging girls like Bridget Moynahan (whom he has a son with), Tara Reid, and Playmate Layla Roberts (who's Australian and makes anyone melt with her accent).

    Hey, guess there's nothing wrong going home with the golden egg, though?

3. Mark Sanchez

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    This was tough, because just like taking a gamble on a first-round pick, Sanchez has all the potential in the world to take over NYC, but he hasn't even scratched the surface. Does that sound a little man-crushy? It should, because it exists.

    Without our bias towards him, you can't argue with results. The NFL's a no-nonsense league, so to put Sanchize at No. 3, we'll fully support our decision.

    One, he's rumored by US Weekly to be dating Kate Upton. Do we really need to justify? Here's your explanation.

    Two, he's got that whole Cali-cool thing going on, which proper Uptown Girls eat up.

    And three, he's hooked up with girls such as model Hilary Rhoda and actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler, prior to Upton. Is that enough support for you?

2. Derek Jeter

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    It's only fitting that No. 2 ends up scoring our No. 2 spot. The Captain's dating record is absolutely insane.

    As a career .313 hitter, he's a future Hall of Famer, but we're guessing his average of scoring hot chicks is even higher than that...making him the Greatest Player of All Time (pun intended).

    While Jeter's wrangled in ladies such as Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, a former Miss Universe, and Mariah Carey, it was his drop of Minka Kelly that slips him to runner-up on this list.

    Lord, what on earth is there to say about that one? It's like a "costing the Yanks a World Series" type of error. Brutal, yet we'd happily take any one of these hot commodities.

1. Cristiano Ronaldo

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    We can't even begin to wonder what life's like for Ronaldo. Not only is he on top of his sport (sorry, Messi fans) but his sweet goals on the field are almost as savory as the ones he scores off. 

    Dude's currently dating SI and Victoria's Secret Supermodel Irina Shayk, who alone, would probably get CRon around the middle of this list. Add in some of his past ladies like models Alice Goodwin, Gemma Atkinson, and UK reality star Imogen Thomas, and it's clear to see why he earns our top spot.

    While any one of these slags would be one of the sexiest women we'd ever seen, Cristiano runs through them like Skittles.

    Best thing? He doesn't discriminate, dating blondes, brunettes and even gingers. What a thoughtful dude.