Grading the Worst Outfits of the 2012 NBA Playoffs
Is it just me, or are we in the middle of a hipster craze? At this point, it seems like the NBA and its players are trying to set some fashion standard for all of those impressionable youth out there. Or they may just love to look absolutely ridiculous.
Either way, we have all seen our fair share of horrid and disgusting outfits during this year's postseason. The majority come from the likes of OKC's Big Three as well as Miami's Big Three?
There are a number of atrocious outfits to grade, but for now I'll just be picking the 14 worst outfits of the 2012 NBA playoffs. If you ever feel like seeing more horrid outfits, you can also check out this or this. Both articles were major inspiration for my own horrid list. Sports Illustrated also did its own series specifically on Mr. Russell Westbrook and his fancy shirts. You can check that out here.
The grading scale? The worse the outfit, the more thumbs down you get.
And don't get on the message boards and tell me that people only have two thumbs. On my rating scale, it's possible to get one thumb down, as well as five thumbs down. Don't start talking anatomy. This is my scale, and on it we all have five thumbs.
LeBron's Thick Glasses
If it weren't for the glasses, LeBron James might have been able to pull off the pink sweater look. But then he had to go and put on these lens-less, thick atrocities.
I don't think I've ever seen a thicker pair of glasses. They almost look like goggles.
Sorry LeBron. Just because you're the "King" doesn't mean you can pull off any look. I give this an F, but not a low F. He gets an F+. But not by much. And an F+ on my scale equates to one thumb down.
Overall Grade: One Thumb Down
Jeff Van Gundy Jumps on the Bandwagon
It looks like Jeff Van Gundy has jumped on the bandwagon in more ways than one. Not only is he rooting for the Thunder, but he's adopting their fashion styles.
In this edition of Kia NBA Countdown, my favorite announcer donned the red, no-lens glasses in honor of hipster extraordinaire Russell Westbrook. We all know Mr. Van Gundy is merely mocking the Thunder point guard.
My hat goes off to you, Jeff. But you still look ridiculous. One thumb down for trying.
Overall Grade: One Thumb Down (but only slightly)
Baron Davis Is Going on a Safari
This is one of my favorites of Baron Davis' extreme outfits. It seems that Mr. Davis is getting ready for a safari. Either that, or he wants to eat a big bowl of Cap'n Crunch, so he carries around the bowl to do so.
Another thing: What's that around his neck? Did he remove a curtain from his mansion and decide to wear it to the game?
That's just how he rolls, I guess.
Overall Grade: Only One Thumb Down (for the shower curtain)
Russell Westbrook Wearing...Something
This is easily one of my favorites of the numerous different shirts that Westbrook has worn to the playoff press conferences.
His shirt looks like it's adorned with dinosaur eggs and lipstick marks. It's ugly, but yet fascinating all at the same time. Then, of course, he has the hat and the lens-less glasses, which are key to achieving the ultimate-hipster look. Hipsters would've preferred a beanie, though, but that's neither here nor there.
But, in all reality, I would buy a couch with that pattern on it. In a heartbeat.
Overall Grade: Two Thumbs Down (but with love)
Westbrook the Clown
In this beautiful number, it appears that Westbrook caught up with a hot air balloon, deflated it and then proceeded to his use his sewing machine to make a beautiful shirt. It was either that or a circus tent.
The orange glasses complete the whole ensemble.
Is it bad to say I actually kind of like the shirt?
Overall Grade: One Thumb Down (glasses), One Thumb Up (hot air balloon shirt, but only slightly)
Russell Westbrook in a Nice Long Sleeve
This is Russell's most recent fashion flub. Here wore this during the press conference after Game 1 of the NBA Finals.
I believe there are little men on his shirt. But I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. And, of course, he has signature specs.
It's different, though. He went long-sleeve this time around. Way to change it up a bit, Russell. I commend you.
Overall Grade: Two Thumbs Down (but barely)
Russell Is Going Fishing
We've now arrived at the infamous fishing shirt of Mr. Westbrook. And, of course, the red glasses.
Honestly, that shirt would be awesome for me whenever I go out fishing. But nowhere else.
At this point, with all of Westbrook's outfits, I wonder if he is merely trolling all of us. We are all talking about his fashion statements, aren't we? So it appears he's already won.
I wonder if I could find a shirt like that at Goodwill. Regardless, it's about time for Westbrook to start his own hipster clothing line.
Overall Grade: Two Thumbs Down, One Thumb Up
Westbrook and His Flags
I honestly don't mind this shirt. It appears to be a statement for world peace. Look at all the flags. He supports every country!
At least, I think they are flags. But of course he had to go and ruin it all with his absurd orange glasses.
Overall Grade: Three Thumbs Down
Rajon Rondo's Coat
Rajon Rondo is the epitome of emo in the NBA. He always is rather timid with the media and has been rumored to have a temper.
His fashion sense is quite debatable as well. I don't even know where to begin with this one. Whether it's the black stripes, the top button buttoned or the brown flaps on the jacket, Rondo is definitely one-of-a-kind.
Overall Grade: Three Thumbs Way Down
Does anyone know the story behind James Harden's beard? Is it one of those I-won't-shave-till-we-win-a-championship things? Or is he merely trying to look like a homeless person?
Whatever the story is, the beard is really starting to look terrible.
This suit isn't helping him, either. During the presentation of the Sixth Man of the Year Award, Harden was wearing the bow tie and salmon-colored shirt. Add that to the beard and the buzzed mohawky haircut, and Harden doesn't come across as very fashionable...or rich.
Overall Grade: Four Thumbs Down
Hey, at least Rondo is wearing his Celtics colors this time around, right?
But what's with the blue sleeves and the sullen look? And the green pockets on either side? I'm not a fan.
Overall Grade: Four Thumbs Down, Way Down
Iman Shumpert Is Patriotic
Iman Shumpert may not have spent much time on the court during the postseason, but boy did he ever leave an impression on us with this horrid American flag shirt.
I feel bad saying something with our nation's flag on it is ugly. But, it truly, truly is something that should never be worn.
What really gets me is that there appears to be a buckle around the neck. Or is it a bark collar? Who knows.
C'mon Iman. C'mon now.
Overall Grade: Three Thumbs Way, Way Down
Amar'e Looks Week and Damaged
Amar'e Stoudemire is looking pretty "fly" in his jean vest, black undershirt and black hat.
The best part of the ensemble is the sling and look of death on his face.
Is he auditioning for a dance video?
Overall Grade: Five Thumbs Down (but only slightly)
I have only one question for Baron Davis, if I ever get a chance to interview him.
How did you get a general's jacket and where can I get one?
Mr. Baron, you are the master of horrid clothing and the hipster get-up. Congratulations. The general outfit put you over the top. It's not to say that a general's jacket is ugly. It's just not something you'd expect at an NBA playoffs press conference.
Overall Grade: Five Thumbs Down, Always Down, Eternally Down
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