During the height of their careers, many professional athletes have more money than they know what to do with. Since more than half of them end up completely broke within years of retirement, we know the one thing they aren't doing is investing their money wisely.
One thing they are doing is buying up expensive, luxury vehicles by the garage full.
Well, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration for some of these guys—although there are plenty who actually do have garages filled with cars.
Let's take a look at some of the most ridiculously baller athlete rides out on the road today.
When some athletes make it big, the first thing they do is run out and buy some kind of status proving automobile like a Mercedes or Porsche or Ferrari. But Raiders running back Darren McFadden definitely decided to go in another direction.
Instead of picking up a classy car at a dealership, he decided to custom design the "Cop Attracter 5000." Good job bro.
No…not the Chris Johnson–the running back of the Titans. This is the other Chris Johnson—the unemployed cornerback with a career far more forgettable than his car.
Listen, I'm not going to judge this guy too harshly. We all have different tastes…I guess I'm just surprised that this nasty, ridiculous spectacle would be anyone's taste.
Before becoming a household name—well, a household name in households that watch golf—Bubba Watson might have been best-known as the golfer with the most nostalgic ride.
Watson bought one of the 1969 Dodge Chargers made famous by The Dukes of Hazzard, reportedly punching down around $110,000 for his wheels.
Retired baller LaSalle Thompson may or may not have been wise with the money he made in the NBA. Thompson has been photographed in a HumDEVILLE—which is apparently some kind of Hummer H2/Cadillac Escalade hybrid.
Thompson works as an assistant coach in the NBA now, but obviously he's always had a passion for cars. Between his retirement and return as a coach, Thompson "operated his own businesses, TNT Motorsports, a car and truck customizing business, and a land development firm."
Okay—this one doesn't exactly qualify as "luxurious," but it certainly makes up for it in its level of ridiculousness.
If you've ever seen the late Chris Farley's classic "fat guy in a little coat" gag, you know what I'm talking about here.
Most athletes' cars are ridiculous because of their lavishness, but Steelers linebacker James Harrison is the opposite of that spectrum. Harrison may or may not have a whole bunch of cars siting at home, but in 2009 he showed up to Steelers training camp in an environmentally friendly Smart Car.
Harrison cited the car's gas efficiency and the fact that he can still speed in it as two of the reasons he was driving it. He said he wasn't as concerned about the price of gas as he was about the environment—he just wished it had a little more room inside.
The NBA's Stephen Jackson definitely has a thing for Range Rovers, being the proud owner of two of them. Both of Jackson's Rovers have been tricked up, pimped out and otherwise awesomized by California Wheels.
But Jackson does have other interests when it comes to his automobiles. He also owns a Rolls Royce Phantom—one of the ultimate status symbols among athletes and celebrities.
The Hawks Joe Johnson has a major thing for insanely pimped out super trucks. Back in 2008, Johnson bucked the hybrid trend when he was spotted cruising around Arkansas in a six-door Ford F650 Super Truck XUV. Pretty much the biggest thing to happen to Arkansas since the Louisiana Purchase.
But why have one ridiculously stupid and expensive super truck when you can have two ridiculously stupid and expensive super trucks. In 2011, Johnson showed up in Arkansas with a brand new monstrosity (pictured).
Which means he was twice as car rich and twice as stupid. Score.
Seattle Mariners pitcher Felix Hernandez has been making some bank, as players in MLB are prone to do. Since Hernandez is kind of a big deal, he needs a fleet of cars that convey his "big deal" status.
Hernandez counts a completely customized black Maserati Quattroporte, a completely customized white 2009 Mercedes GL550 and a completely customized candy apple red Range Rover among his toys.
I must concur with the fine folks over at TotalProSports that none of Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald's rides are ridiculous examples of the excess professional often display. But that's just Fitz, isn't it? He's got one of the greatest reputations in the NFL for a reason.
He's the highest paid wide receiver in the NFL, so why shouldn' the have a couple of Mercedes Benzes, a sweet Ranger Rover and a BMW to show for all his had work? This is about as practical as you can be when you're game check is more than what most of make in years.
Carlos Boozer ain't no Derek Rose, but you might just mistake him for Rose through the tinted windows of some of his epic automobiles. Boozer obviously has a taste for the finer things in the life and has bought three luxury vehicles in the last nine months.
The Ferrari F430 Spyder was the first car to occupy a spot in his garage. It was followed up with "Maserati Gran Turismo with 22″ Forgiato Concavo wheels with custom Maserati Center Caps." And then capped off with a Maybach, staggered on "24″ Forgiato Aresto wheels."
Dolphins running back Reggie Bush sure hasn't lived up to expectations in the NFL after an absolutely stellar career at USC. But his bloated bank account has probably more than made up for it in the mind of the underproducing back.
Bush's collection boasts a Ferrari F430, a fully restored and customized 1971 Chevelle SS, and a Mercedes-Benz CLS among other.
Oh and he pretends to drive a Smart Car for endorsement cash, but you know damn well he wouldn't be caught dead in one.
Rapper Snoop Dogg has been flashy about his sports allegiances for years, especially when it comes to fashion. He's also one of the coaches of his son's little league team, making him officially the coolest coach ever.
Oh, and he's a Lakers fan.
And judging by this pimped-out-of-its-mind 66 Cadillac, he's quite the Lakers fan. The car has been dubbed the "Snoop de Ville" and comes with three chandeliers, a purple and gold zirconium-encrusted dashboard and some hydro pumps that bounce his ride while he's cruising.
And it's not the only "Snoop de Ville" in his collection, either—there's this one too.
Geez, Snoop is just the coolest. I'd love to hang with him for just one day.
San Francisco 49ers linebacker Patrick Willis gives and receives a beating every Sunday during the NFL season. But at least he has a number of glorious automobiles in which to drag his tired and aching bones home after each game.
Willis has got one sweet freaking Mustang, and even sweeter Aston Martin and a pretty baller BMW 750. Naturally all are fully loaded, fully customized to his every desire and stocked with swagg.
Yankees second baseman Robinson Cano plays for the Yankees, which means he's probably got piles of cash filling up most of the bathtubs in his home. When you have enough money, it probably gets boring just putting it all in the stupid bank.
Which is why Cano occasionally dips into his bathtubs filled with money to buy some new wheels. Among his impressive collection, Cano's got a customized Range Rover that he likes to brag about on YouTube, a red hot Ferarri (pictured), a Porsche Panamera
What doesn't Patriots superstar quarterback Tom Brady have? He's got the girl, the money, the looks, the fame, the talent and everything and anything else under the sun that any man on this planet would kill to have.
He's also got a bunch of sweet freaking rides. Brady is a well known enthusiast of the luxury Audi brand—a very impressive piece of machinery. But apparently not fit for the husband of the world's first billionaire supermodel Gisele Bundchen—he was seen gassing up his Rolls Royce in March 2012.
Legendary NBA baller—and legendarily bad owner—Michael Jordan loves the finer and more fun things in life: smoking cigars, gambling, marrying models and collecting sweet rides.
His Airness isn't known to have a massive collection of dust-collecting vehicles clogging up his driveway, but he's never seen driving anything that doesn't cost more than your house.
In 2007, it was a Mercedes McLaren SLR722. He bought the car for $457,000, put 962 miles on it and then decided he was bored and sold it. Since then, he's picked up a Mercedes CL65 and an Aston Martin Vantage.
And those are just the ones I know of—maybe he has 1,000 more hidden away.
Retired defensive end Orpheus Roy isn't attracting attention with his bone-crushing hits in the NFL anymore, but that doesn't mean nobody's looking. Everyone knows a car with swagg, no to mention a hefty price tag, is one of the easiest ways to keep all eyes on you.
Roy shelled out a cool $400,000 for his white Maybach (pictured)—a definitely attention grabber. Roy has also owned (and perhaps still owns) a Mercedes Benz S550, a Bentley Flyer Spur and a Range Rover.
Many of the athletes on this list have excessive collections of cars, but retired baller Kent Benson doesn't have a collection, because he doesn't need one.
When you've got one of the coolest cars on the planet, there's nowhere to go but down.
NFL free agent running back Thomas Jones did plenty of running on the field over his 10+ year career in the league. So off the field when he wasn't running, he made sure he was rollin in style.
When Jones was playing for the Jets he was seen about town in a bright yellow, completely customized Lamborghini—ya know, just a casual car for gettin' around in. Also sitting in his garage are/were a Ranger Rover and a Maserati.
Eventually Jones traded up for the ultimate status symbol: The Rolls Royce Phantom. Nice touch having it painted in show-stopping red.
First off, Cowell belongs on this list as a television producer who is set to launch some sports-focused reality television programming around the upcoming summer Olympics in London.
Professional meanie Cowell has more money than God. Now, I'm not an accountant or anything, but it sounds about right to me.
You might wonder where he spends all that freaking money, and frankly, I have no idea.
But I do know that he drops a small portion of it on lavish luxury rides.
Cowell's collection includes a Rolls Royce Phantom, a Bentley Azure convertible, a couple of ATVs, a ridiculous Smart Car and last, but certainly not least, a Buatti Veyron—which cost him more than a million dollars back in 2008.
In late December 2011, the Los Angeles Times ran a story titled "Andrew Bynum has the cars, but does he have the drive to grow up?"
That was a good question, considering Bynum had just been stopped twice by police in as many days while serving his four-game suspension.
Count me among those who sincerely doubt that the immature and often lazy Bynum will ever get anywhere near his potential in the NBA. But he will have a whole crap load of cars to sell off for a fraction of their value when he eventually goes broke, because he spent all his money on items that only depreciate in value.
Bynum has a brigade of glorious achievements in engineering, including a Ferrari 599 TGB (pictured), a Nissan GTR, a Ferrari F430 and a wide-body Dodge Challenger SRT8.
The dashing David Beckham has a lot going for him.
He's handsome, he's rich, he used to be really great at soccer, he looks amazing in his underwear and he's got a whole bunch of sweet cars.
(Too bad he has to use them to drive around his stick insect wife.)
Beckham's collection includes a 2010 Camaro (customized by Platinum Motor Sports), a black Cadillac Escalade ESV with 26" TIS Drop Star rims and a 2008 Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead, a convertible perfect for that beautiful Los Angeles weather.
Floyd Mayweather isn't the only boxer with a thing for driving fast. Manny Pacquiao has a pretty sweet collection of cars himself, although I found it pretty hilarious that Complex described his collection as "relatively low-key."
Pacman counts among his collection a Ferrari 458 Italia, Porsche Cayenne Turbo, Mercedes SLK, Lincoln Navigator and Mitsubishi Pajero V6.
Ya know, just a few low-key rides for getting to and from the grocery store.
Considering he takes a helicopter to most home games at the Staples Center, why Lakers legend Kobe Bryant even needs a bunch of cars is anybody's guess.
But in my eyes, Bryant can do no wrong, so if he wants a billion cars—let him have a billion cars.
One of his finest is his relatively new Lamborghini Aventador, which is painted matte black (Mamba). Bryant's collection also boasts a Range Rover, a Ferrari F430, a Bentley Continental GT coupe, an Azure Mulliner convertible and a Cadillac Escalade.
Jobless wide receiver Chad Ochocinco has never met something stupid he wasn't desperate to blow his money on. He's truly going to be regretting this in about five years when he's destitute with only his pet tiger to keep him company.
Ocho owns every kind of car in the book. He's got a Nissan Leaf (to be environmentally responsible), a Bentley (to be a rich a-hole), a Charger (to be patriotic), a Lamborghini (to be the worst person in any room) and he's got a fearing semi truck (just to be a douche).
Let me just state the obvious here: Nobody besides TRUCKERS need a vehicle like this.
Retired slugger Reggie Jackson has more classic cars than he knows what to do with—literally.
In 2010, Jackson sent 15 cars from his collection to the Mecum Monterey Auction. Among MotorAuthority's faves were a 1971 Plymouth Duster; Corvettes from 1961, 1962 and 1967; and, just for the heck of it, VW Beetles from 1956 and 1962.
But don't worry about poor old Reggie, he's doing just fine. Jackson refuses to divulge the location of his car collection and the number of cars he owns, but it's said to be incredibly impressive. He's even got a Daytona Spyder once owned by Evel Knievel.
Manchester City's resident loose cannon, and certified awesome person, Mario Balotelli has more cars than you can shake a stick at. And you can shake a stick at a lot of cars—trust me on this.
The reason he has so many is because, as he will happily explain to you, he's very rich. Balotelli's got a Bentley, a Ferarri, an Audi, a Maserati GT and a Mercedes. At least he has owned all of those cars at one time or another—he's not known as the best driver and seems to enjoy playing bumper cars with them.
I'm partial to the Chevy Camaro myself, and so is Heat superstar LeBron James.
Ironically, King James has a collection of cars worthy of, well, a king. He's got a Bentley, a Ferrari F420 and an all-white Camaro SS.
Seems like a few too many cars to me, but what the hell—you can't take all that money with you!
According to Complex, Wrestler John Cena is an American with muscles who is into American cars with muscle. Apparently he's even released a DVD chronicling his massive collection of cars that sits in a garage and collects dust.
Among his cars are a 1971 Ford Torino GT, 1970 Mercury Cougar Eliminator, 1970 Pontiac GTO Judge, 1966 Dodge Charger and 1970 Plymouth Superbird.
Can't say I'm really a big fan of any of those, but they really suit this WWE superstar. Boss Hog would be jealous as hell.
In 2009, the Real Madrid superstar totaled his ridiculously expensive Ferrari.
It really wasn't a big dead for this loaded footballer, though; he just upgraded to an even more ridiculously expensive Bentley. Not that he even needed to replace it to begin with, Ronaldo has one of the most famously luxurious car collections in all of sorts.
His football fortune has paid for a Porsche 911 Carrera 2S Cabriolet, a Maserati GranCabrio, a Bentley GT Speed, a Porsche Cayenne Turbo, an Audi R8, a Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano, a Mercedes Benz C220 CDI, an Audi Q7 and about a dozen others.
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta, doesn't it dude?
For most professional athletes, it seems that every day is a game of Pimp My Ride. But instead of pimping out some jalopy, they're pimping out cars worth more than your domicile.
I have no clue how many tricked-out rides NBA legend Shaquille O'Neal has, but let's just say you probably can't count them on one hand.
Some of his wheels include a Rolls Royce Phantom, a Hummer H2, an Escalade, a Lamborghini Gallardo and, from the looks of this picture, he may even have a couple of semi trucks—and most are pimped out with his signature Superman theme.
No surprise that boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. has a ridiculous ride—"Money" is his middle name, after all.
Naturally, Mayweather doesn't have just one sweet ride—dude has his very own fleet of luxury vehicles.
He has more cars than I care to bother listing, but there are two notables: two nearly identical Rolls-Royce Phantoms; one he bought for himself, and one was a gift from his hetero life-mate, 50 Cent.