NBA Finals Dance Team Showdown: Thunder vs. Heat

Image via NBA.com

Here we are. It is finally time for the NBA Finals and what a matchup we have in store as the Miami Heat take on the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Can LeBron James finally get his first championship ring? Will the Big Three play the way we all expect them to? Does Kevin Durant have what it takes to destroy the Miami Heat and become the NBA's new Kobe Bryant? 

There are plenty of questions to answer in the next two weeks. We just have to wait and see. 

In the meantime, let's pit the two teams' dance groups against each other in our own NBA Finals. We can call it the NBA Dance Finals.

The rules are simple. It will be a best-of-seven series. Each team will have their sexiest dance team members compete against the other team's and the first team to four wins, wins. It is that easy.

Enjoy.

(Heat and Thunder dancer bios via NBA.com)

Game 1: Miami Heat Dancer Angelica

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Kendall, Florida

Experience: Rookie

Birthday: May 1

Interesting Fact: Piano Player

Favorite Movie: Finding Nemo

Guilty Pleasure: Chocolate

Quote to Live By: "Leap and the net will appear."

Although Angelica is in her first year with the Miami Heat, she was still able to catch my eye. I wonder if she can play the theme song from Finding Nemo on the piano?

Game 1: Oklahoma City Thunder Dancer Riane

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Experience: Four Years

Favorite TV Show as a Kid: Hey Arnold!

Favorite Movie Quote: "On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place."—Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Guilty Pleasure: Cheesy 90s music like Backstreet Boys

Favorite Healthy Snack: Pistachios

Wow, this chick loves Monty Python and the Holy Grail? That is not only one of my favorite movies of all time but it is rare to find ANY female that loves that genre of comedy. If I could, I would marry this woman.

Game 1 Winner: Oklahoma City Thunder

Image via NBA.com

This was a great first game. Both women gave us everything, but, in the end, the veteran NBA dancer from the Oklahoma City Thunder, Riane, took home the victory.

Maybe it had something to do with that gloriously red hair she rocks since we all know I am a sucker for a redhead.

Game 2: Miami Heat Dancer Stephanie

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland

Experience: Two years

Birthday: February 24

Interesting Fact: Fear of heights

Nickname: Merrhhh, Hetch, sdouble

Favorite Movie: Step Brothers

Guilty Pleasure: Chocolate

I tried to get a better run down of the nicknames but was unable to find anything online that could explain the reasoning behind Merrhhh. I guess you can just chalk that one up to crazy nicknames that are inside jokes.

Game 2: Oklahoma City Thunder Dancer Shonna

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Moore, Oklahoma

Experience: Two years

Guilty Pleasure: Dance Moms

Favorite Movie: Love and Basketball

First Thing She Does When She Wakes Up: Press the snooze button

Favorite Healthy Snack: Coco covered almonds from Sam's Club

Her guilty pleasure is dance moms? Really?

I tried watching one of those reality shows that featured dance moms and was absolutely floored by the way they treated their daughters. That is the type of stuff you could consider laugh out loud funny.

Game 2 Winner: Oklahoma City Thunder

Image via NBA.com

Game 2 did not go as planned. It was much closer than Game 1 thanks to the fight from Miami Heat dancer Stephanie. She refused to lose and continued to fight until the very end. 

In fact, this one went into overtime. I had to make a choice and it was a tough one but Shonna came out the winner pushing Oklahoma City to a huge 2-0 series lead over the Miami Heat.

Game 3: Miami Heat Dancer Michelle

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Palm Bay, Florida

Experience: Two years

Birthday: January 13

What Super Power Would She Want to Have: Super speed

Biggest Pet Peeve: People who talk and chew gum with their mouth open

Guilty Pleasure: Fast food

How can anyone hate it when someone talks and chews gum with their mouth wide open at the same time? I find those people to be hilarious.

I would also like to ask about the super speed and fast food thing. Anyone notice a trend?

Game 3: Oklahoma City Thunder Dancer Kimberly

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Norman, Oklahoma

Experience: Two years

Three Items She Can't Live Without: Cell phone, keys and earrings

Favorite TV Show Growing Up: Saved by the Bell

Guilty Pleasure: Queso!

Pets: A dog named Kevin

Favorite Healthy Snack: Celery and hummus

Finally, we have someone who openly admits to loving the high school cheese factory, Saved by the Bell.

I wasn't a big fan of the show but I have still seen every single episode, three times each.

Game 3 Winner: Miami Heat

Image via NBA.com

Returning back to their Eastern Conference Finals form, the Miami Heat dancers clawed their way into the first blowout of the series.

Kimberly from Oklahoma City put up as much as she had but Michelle made this one look easy winning it before I even had a chance to type this commentary.

I mean, her favorite superhero power would be super speed. That tells us all we need to know about Michelle.

Game 4: Miami Heat Dancer Taryn

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Sunrise, Florida

Experience: Three years

Birthday: December 12

Interesting Fact: She never eats the last bite of her food

Nickname: T, Little T, Tar Tar, Malibu Barbie

Hero: Grandmother

Guilty Pleasure: Reality TV

Taryn is anything but a Malibu Barbie. 

I mean, she has blond hair, brown eyes, and has the body of a professional model. Oh wait a second.

Game 4: Oklahoma City Thunder Dancer Tina

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Mustang, Oklahoma

Experience: Rookie

Favorite Movie/TV character: Anything by Will Smith

Guilty Pleasure: Perez Hilton's website

Favorite Healthy Snack: Pineapples and strawberries

Favorite Movie: The Holiday

Welcome to the NBA Tina. We are very glad to have you dance for the Oklahoma City Thunder.

That being said, Perez Hilton? Really? Is there anything else you might want to consider instead?

Game 4 Winner: Miami Heat

Image via NBA.com

With the series now at 2-1 in favor of the Thunder, the Miami Heat needed to stay alive and get a win to tie up the series at two games a piece. 

Well, they did.

The Malibu Barbie, Taryn, from Sunrise, Florida proved, once again, that experience trumps most anything else. And with her three years of service with the Heat, Taryn helps tie this series up at two games each.

Game 5: Miami Heat Dancer Sophia

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Orlando, Florida

Experience: Two years

Birthday: June 4

Occupation: Waitress, gypsy, closet DJ

Nickname: Viva, Salsa

Favorite Song: "Hard to Smile" by Enigma Dubz

Guilty Pleasure: Ice cream

Any woman who is a closet DJ/Gypsy, can party with me any day of the week.

Think about it. She can play you music and then steal your stuff at the same time before you even know what happened.

Game 5: Oklahoma City Thunder Dancer Jessica

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Madison, Wisconsin

Experience: Two years

Favorite Movie: Dumb and Dumber

Song She Sings When No One Is Around: "Someone Like You"—Adele

Favorite Movie Line: "Killer boots man."—Dumb and Dumber

Guilty Pleasure: Ice cream

Favorite Vacation Spot: Northern Wisconsin

I am not a big fan of Adele's music. I would rather just throw a baseball at empty beer bottles in my backyard.

And as for the Dumb and Dumber selection? I want to marry this chick right now.

 

 

Game 5 Winner: Oklahoma City Thunder

Image via NBA.com

Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. That is the name everyone will be remembering tomorrow morning because she had such a memorable Game 5 that the sports world just can't stop talking about it.

Sophia was in way over her head and barely put up a fight putting the Miami Heat one game away from elimination.

Game 6: Miami Heat Dancer Ashley

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Miami, Florida

Experience: Two years

Birthday: September 24

Interesting Fact: Played basketball for 10 years prior to dancing

Nickname: Z, Alvee, Mima

Biggest Pet Peeve: People who talk during movies

Guilty Pleasure: Oreo McFlurry from McDonald's

Ashley was a basketball player before she became a dancer for the Miami Heat.

Good, maybe after next season they might have to sign her to play and then be able to afford to pay her salary because they will eventually run out of dough.

Game 6: Oklahoma City Thunder Dancer Helen

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Experience: Three years

First Thing She Does When She Turns on the Computer: Checks Facebook

Favorite TV Show: Frasier

Guilty Pleasure: Bread

Best Personality Trait: Loyalty

Favorite Healthy Snack: Carrots and cucumbers with Italian dressing

Best Movie Line: "We're the three best friends that anybody can have and we'll never ever ever ever ever ever leave each other."—The Hangover

Helen is a gorgeous young woman but there are so many things wrong with her bio that I chose to only pick on one of them.

Bread should not be considered a guilty pleasure unless you are allergic to it.

Game 6 Winner: Miami Heat

Image via NBA.com

Now that the Oklahoma City Thunder are one game away from the coveted NBA Dance Team title, they have found themselves going up against the best the Miami Heat have to offer, Ashley.

Ashley found a way to send this to a Game 7 where, as we all know, anything can happen.

Game 7: Miami Heat Dancer Jamie

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Miami, Florida

Experience: Rookie

Birthday: July 3

Interesting Fact: Loves fishing and catching lobsters

Nickname: Jam, Jamster, James

Superhero Power: The ability to read minds

Guilty Pleasure: Slurpees

Favorite Movie: Any old Disney movie

I have always wanted to drink Slurpees while watching old Disney movies after a long day of fishing and catching lobsters. I wonder if I could ever find a woman that would enjoy these same things.

Oh look.

Game 7: Oklahoma City Thunder Dancer Shereka

Image via NBA.com

Hometown: Muskogee, Oklahoma

Experience: Four years

Guilty Pleasure: Reality TV

Pets: A Cat named Casper

Favorite Healthy Snack: Pita chips, hummus and cheese

First Song You Hear When Turning On her iPod: "Remind Me"—Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley

Favorite Movie/TV Show Character: Toddler and Tiaras pageant girls

Reality TV is easily the best guilty pleasure of all time. How many people do you know watch The Jersey Shore? How many? You probably said none but ten million people watch that show every week.

So somebody is lying.

NBA Dance Team Champions: Miami Heat

Image via NBA.com

They did it! Finally winning the title in classic Game 7 fashion, winning in overtime.

The Miami Heat dance team found a way to climb back from a two-game deficit to take home the first annual Bleacher Report NBA Dance Team championship.

Congratulations to all the ladies from both teams. It was truly an incredible series.