Football, the world's non-American variety of it, is a strange thing for us Americans to grasp. It neither involves helmets nor outlandish end-zone dances; instead of players trying their damnedest to stay up, they're pretty prone to falling down; and, most importantly, the timing of European matches is completely bizarre.
Weekdays. Mornings. Early afternoons. What gives? And the European Championships are supposedly the second biggest futbol/soccer tournament on Earth? And 2012's edition could be a classic.
Here, we realize that the fact that most of the working world will be in a cubicle Friday morning when Poland faces Greece and Russia faces the Czech Republic to kick off the prestigious tournament. Yes, we realize that the timing isn't helping the anti-soccer American public embrace the sport when the matches generally are taking place during the get-things-done hour at work.
It's cool, we've got you covered. Even you, soccer haters.
Shoot, most of us are reaching for excuses to get out of work, anyway, so here's a plethora of sure-fire, guaranteed, scientifically proven*, without-fail means to escape from under your boss' nose and go rub elbows with soccer hooligans at your local pub and watch the beautiful game on its biggest platform for the next month.
*"Scientifically proven" actually translates to said excuses had a high success rate after consumption of multiple pints. In retrospect, they probably didn't work at all. But try 'em, anyway, and feel free to blame yours truly.