Dez Briscoe Finally Shows Up, and Tampa's Too Hot for Him

Tom EdringtonSenior Writer IJune 5, 2012

"Look fellas, if you can't take the heat, get out of the oven!" (photo
"Look fellas, if you can't take the heat, get out of the oven!" (photo

Well, geez. Dez Briscoe finally decided to honor everyone with his presence, as he'll be on the field for Tuesday's OTAs at One Buccaneer Place. And guess what? It's too hot out there for Dez.

All together now: Awwwwwwwwwwwww!

Of course Briscoe wouldn't know it, because he hasn't been around One Schiano Place this offseason, choosing to forgo the OTAs until this week. But he's here now, and the first thing he does is tweet about the heat.

Well, Dez, you ain't seen nothing yet.

You think it's hot? Wait until Greg Schiano goes full humidity on you. Wait until you check out the new pace of practice, the new up-tempo and, for goodness sake, what the heck are you going to do when the new coaching staff actually demands excellence?

Briscoe may be up the creek without a paddle on that one.

He should have noticed something was up when they confiscated his membership card to the Raheem Morris Country Club at the players entrance to One Buc Place. That should have been Briscoe's first clue, but when you think long and hard about him, he's no Sherlock Holmes, is he?

While Dez has been trying to land a starting job on the Basketball Wives reality show, everyone else has been trying to put him out of a job here with the Buccaneers. He may also want to look into the new handbook for "Buccaneer Men" and take notice.

We might steal a line from Clint Eastwood's character, Gunny Highway in Heartbreak Ridge: "The Marines are looking for a few good men, and unfortunately, you ain't it."

Well, Schiano is looking for "Buccaneer Men," and unfortunately, Kellen Winslow Jr. and Tanard Jackson didn't fit the mold, and Briscoe had better take a long look in the mirror and wonder if he fits the bill.

With his reality show antics and his absence from OTAs prior to this week, you have to wonder if Briscoe "gets it."

He better "get it" in a hurry, or he'll have to figure it out somewhere else. Unfortunately for him, the Atlanta Falcons don't need a fifth or sixth receiver, so that leaves him out of the mix up there, his backyard for Basketball Wives.

Basically, if Briscoe thinks it's hot now, well, he'll really be sweating when Schiano turns up the heat on his roster spot.