As we wait for the college football season to arrive, it's time to make some predictions for the 2012 season.
No, we're not going to talk about who will win the national championship, how many games each team will win or who will win the Heisman Trophy. This one is all about those oddball prop bets.
Will Les Miles eat grass? How many uniforms will Oregon wear? Will Lee Corso get into trouble on live TV again?
Read on.
Brian Kelly Turns Purple by Week 3
Brian Kelly isn't the kind of coach that can easily hide his rage. Here against South Florida last season, I thought Kelly was going to have a coronary on the spot.
Kelly may be able to keep his cool against Navy in Dublin if all goes well, but Purdue is the kind of team that just might surprise the Fighting Irish and bring out the wrath of Kelly.
However, the Michigan State game seems like the perfect game for him to get irate. The Spartans are one of the toughest tests the Irish will face, and if a quarterback throws an interception at a bad time, we'll probably see a repeat of last year's sideline tantrum.
Oklahoma State Will Regret Pushing for TCU
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It's no secret that Oklahoma State wanted TCU to join the Big 12 when Texas A&M walked out the door to the SEC. Big-time Oklahoma State donor T. Boone Pickens went on record saying as much.
Pickens and the Cowboys got their wish and TCU is back where they belong. However, Oklahoma State should be wary of that old Chinese curse:
May you find what you're looking for.
You see, Oklahoma State will have to face the Horned Frogs at home on October 27, and the Cowboys don't have Brandon Weeden or Justin Blackmon anymore. TCU has more than a decent shot of winning this one.
Now remember Cowboys fans, if you get beat by TCU, this is the team that your school wanted to bring into the conference.
Oregon Will Debut Two New Uniforms
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As the fashionistas of college football, Oregon always seems to have a new uniform to show off.
After all, Oregon is located right next to Nike, and the Ducks seem to love being the first to show off Nike's latest designs. Some are classic, and others are a bit... overbearing.
Expect to see at least two new designs from the Ducks this season.
Les Miles Will Find a New Way to Surprise Us
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The "Mad Hatter" seems to have a new way to confuse and amaze us every season.
He eats grass. He's a brilliant coach at times but sometimes struggles with the basics of managing the clock. He'll let his starting quarterback flounder in the BCS National Championship Game while a perfectly good backup QB has to watch the painful display of offensive ineptitude from the sidelines.
Then there's the wonderful trick plays from a genuinely fun and interesting coach.
Trust me, he'll do something else in 2012 that'll keep us talking for years to come.
Boise State at Michigan State Will Feature No Less Than Two Trick Plays
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Although the Broncos return only three starters from last season, Chris Petersen is still the head coach. The Spartans would do well to be prepared for any number of classic and inventive trick plays.
Boise State better do the same. After all, Mark Dantonio has been known to have a trick or two up his sleeve. Don't forget the "Little Giants" fake field goal that gave Dantonio the win over Notre Dame in 2010.
RIP WAC
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All teams to the lifeboats! The WAC is a sinking ship.
Only Idaho and New Mexico State remain as football schools beyond 2012. Everybody else has found new homes in C-USA, MWC and Sun Belt. Even former FCS teams Texas State and UT San Antonio have already jumped ship.
There's no rescuing this conference. There will be one less conference in 2013.
Frank Spaziani Becomes College Football's First Coaching Casualty of 2012
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Speaking of sinking ships, that's what Boston College has become under Frank Spaziani. The Eagles have done progressively worse over each year that Spaziani has been head coach, including a disappointing 4-8 season in 2011.
I don't think Spaziani even makes through October.
Alabama vs. LSU Won't Be the "Game of the Century"
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Both of the Alabama vs. LSU games last season were hyped to be the best game since Notre Dame at Michigan State in 1966.
Neither game really delivered.
Sure, the first addition was at least close. It was the perfect game for those who like defense, more defense and field goals. SEC folks may like this sort of game, but give me a back-and-forth game where the teams actually score touchdowns. However, while this was a tight game and it did go to overtime, I can think of dozens of games more exciting than this one in the 21st century.
The rematch in the BCS National Championship Game was even more boring. Alabama simply dominated and LSU's offense didn't even pass the 50-yard line until the fourth quarter.
Lame.
I hope that we've all learned that while the Alabama vs. LSU game will almost certainly be important in the national championship race, it won't be the "game of the century" by any stretch of the imagination.
Lee Corso Will Swear Again on Live TV
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Live TV is a hard thing to do. There are no do-overs, no second takes and no room for error.
Also, there are certain words that you are not supposed to say on a live sports broadcast like ESPN's College GameDay. Just like last year, I expect Lee Corso to let one of those words slip in front of a live national TV audience.
Parents with small children, just be prepared.
Someone Will Put a Pirate Flag Under the Washington State Flag
No matter where College GameDay ends up, there's always a Washington State flag in the background.
Why Washington State? Well, that's just one of college football's great mysteries (However, if you want a quick history of how it all started, you can look here.)
Saying that we'll continue to see the familiar Washington State flag is too obvious. However, someone is bound to put the old "Jolly Rodger" underneath the Cougars' flag to honor new head coach Mike Leach and his love for pirates.
The Big 12 Will Be the Next Conference to Expand
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As much as Big 12 bigwigs continue to insist that they're happy with 10 teams, the Big 12 will make the next move in the game, called conference realignment.
Methinks they protest too much.
Now, who will the potential 11th and 12th teams be? There are rumors floating out there that everyone from BYU to Florida State to Cincinnati is being considered. Who the Big 12 actually decides to pick up is anybody's guess, but the money and prestige that come from a conference championship game are just too good to pass up.
Someone Will Win the Big East and Get Killed in Their BCS Bowl
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While we wait for the BCS to die, it's a matter of fact that the winner of the Big East gets to play in a BCS bowl.
And while West Virginia trounced Clemson in last year's Orange Bowl, the Mountaineers are also gone to the Big 12 while Pitt and Syracuse are now part of the ACC.
What we'll probably see is a repeat of 2010, where a completely overmatched UConn squad got murdered by Oklahoma.
SMU Wins Their First Conference Championship Since Getting the Death Penalty
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The time seems to finally be right for SMU to win their first conference championship since the 80s.
Houston and Southern Miss both have new coaches and quarterbacks. The Mustangs are on the rise with June Jones on the sideline.
At long last, SMU will have a new championship banner to hang at their stadium in 2012.
Garrick McGee Will Be One-and-Done at UAB
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To his credit, Garrick McGee didn't drop everything and rush back to Arkansas after Bobby Petrino was fired.
However, UAB better not get too attached to him. Arkansas picked up a temporary head coach. Besides, UAB isn't exactly a dream job for anybody in football. The Blazers are under the thumb of Alabama's board of trustees, and they're not likely to ever have success on the gridiron as long as that's the case.
McGee will stick around one year and return to Fayetteville as the Arkansas job opens up again.
Texas Fans Finally Turn on Mack Brown
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Ever since making it to the BCS National Championship Game after the 2009 season, not much has gone Mack Brown and Texas' way.
The Longhorns missed the postseason entirely in 2010 and only just made it in 2011.
The main problem is that Texas can't find their next quarterback. Texas fans have been fairly patient with him thus far, but if the Longhorns can't win more than eight games and get killed by Oklahoma again, things will turn against Brown rather quickly.
Phillip Fulmer Will Campaign for Derrick Dooley's Job
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Not much has gone right for Tennessee since Phillip Fulmer was sent off to pasture. Lane Kiffin caused some serious damage in his one-and-done whirlwind tour at Knoxville, and patience is wearing thin for Derek Dooley to get the Volunteers back to winning championships.
And while I don't think that Fulmer will actually get another shot at the Tennessee job, that doesn't mean he won't try to get it. After all, he campaigned pretty hard for the AD job at Tennessee just recently.
Brady Hoke Will Pass Rich Rod in Total Number of Wins at Michigan
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Brady Hoke has accomplished several things in his first season that Rich Rodriguez failed to do in three. He has an 11-win season and a BCS championship under his belt.
He's also a mere five wins away from passing Rich Rod's 14 wins.
Getting those five wins shouldn't be too much of a problem for Hoke.
At Least One More Major Football Power Will Come Under NCAA Investigation
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Many of college football's biggest names have recently come under NCAA scrutiny, from Ohio State to Miami to North Carolina to USC.
It's only a matter of time before another major college football power comes under investigation. Which one, you ask? That I'm not going to speculate on.
More FCS Teams Will Join the FBS
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Texas State, UT San Antonio and UMass are all being promoted from the FCS to college football's highest division, but more teams are sure to join them this season.
Appalachian State, the team that did the unthinkable by taking down Michigan in the Big House, is bound to be one of those teams.
The Honey Badger Will Score at Least Two Touchdowns
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Tyrann Mathieu must be itching for some redemption after a mediocre performance against Alabama in the BCS National Championship Game.
Know what will make him feel better? Returning punts and interceptions for touchdowns.
Fortunately for LSU, he's good at that.
Navy Will Earn the Trip to See Obama
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After winning the Commander-in-Chief's Trophy six years in a row, Navy has been replaced with Air Force for the past two seasons and has gotten the privilege of visiting President Obama in the White House.
But the tide is about to turn. Navy had a disappointing season last year, but Midshipmen head coach Ken Niumatalolo is too good of a coach to be held down for long.
Mark Richt Will Be Loved as a Hero Again
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Amazing to think that just one year ago Georgia's Mark Richt was on the hot seat. But he has yet to recapture the glory he had when he last took the Bulldogs to a BCS bowl.
Something tells me that Richt is going to complete his transformation from heel back to hero in 2012.
The Sun Belt Will Produce Another 10-Win Team
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The Sun Belt has been characterized as college football's worst conference. And while that's not necessarily false, the Sun Belt has shown that they can produce winning teams.
I'd keep my eye on Arkansas State now that Gus Malzahn is head man there.
2012 Will Mark the Last Year of the "Holy War"
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College football realignment has claimed several storied rivalries, such as Texas vs. Texas A&M and the Boarder War between Kansas and Missouri.
But it seems that the Holy War between BYU and Utah may be coming to an end.
Sure, the Big 12 likes the money and prestige that West Virginia brings to the table, but no one likes it when the new guy beats up everybody else.
And seeing what the Mountaineers did to Clemson in the Orange Bowl, powers like Oklahoma and Texas may get beat out as well. The Sooners and Longhorns certainly wouldn't like getting upstaged by the likes of West Virginia, would they?
Will Muschamp Will Make a Star Wars Reference
The Force wasn't strong with Will Muschamp last season.
When a reporter called Muschamp a "padawan" of Nick Saban, Muschamp simply asked, "What's a padawan?"
I'm sure one of his players will have set Muschamp straight about what Star Wars is about. I think he'll make a Star Wars joke this season just to mess with the media in 2012.
The BCS Will Get It Wrong. Again.
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Although Oklahoma State may gripe about getting left out of the BCS National Championship Game, Boise State and Michigan State had greater reason to complain as they got passed over by Virginia Tech and Michigan in the Sugar Bowl.
I'm glad that the BCS seems to be coming to an end soon.
Despite Offseason Troubles, Arkansas Will Lead the SEC in Offense
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To say that the Razorbacks have had a rough offseason is a gross understatement.
But despite the the loss of Bobby Petrino, this offense has Tyler Wilson and Knile Davis. Between the two of them, Arkansas should lead the pack in offense.
Many College Football Programs Will Continue to Lose Money
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Many college football programs, even big names like Florida State, are putting more money in than they're getting out on college football.
Now, making money isn't supposedly the primary concern of college athletics, but you and I both know better than that. However, like any business, some schools know how to make the big bucks while others struggle just to make ends meet.
Alabama vs. Michigan Is Going to Break TV Records for Week 1
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This game is definitely as good as it gets Week 1. While most good teams are taking on cupcakes, this game has a distinct BCS bowl game feel.
And crazed fans like you and me will be starving for just this kind of game. And with the massive fan bases that follow both of these schools, the TV networks are going to love this game.
Charlie Strong Will Get the Media Attention He Wanted, and He Won't Like It
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Charlie Strong got upset with the local media when they ignored Louisville football's spring practice and paid more attention to Louisville basketball's run to the final four.
And so, he instituted a "media freeze."
I'm not sure how any of that makes sense.
He's about to get more attention than perhaps he can handle if his program doesn't win games this season.
Lou Holtz Will Get Involved with Politics Again
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Lou Holtz is known for being a loyal supporter of Notre Dame and a funny coach to watch debate Mark May, but he's also got a political side to him.
In fact, it's gotten him into hot water before with ESPN.
Still, this being a presidential year and all, I expect Holtz to talk about more than football as November draws near.
UCLA's Jim Mora Won't Use the Word "Monopoly" All Year
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If Jim Mora paid any attention whatsoever to Rick Neuheisel's mistakes, he'll stay away from the "M" word.
Or at the very least, he won't put a full-page ad in the LA Times until after he manages to beat USC.
Matt Barkley Will Be Anointed the No. 1 2013 NFL Draft Pick
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Matt Barkley is going to share the title/burden that Standford's Andrew Luck had to deal with last season:
The presumed No. 1 pick of the 2013 NFL Draft.
That's how he's going to be referred to in every edition of Sports Center, as well as every article from Yahoo! to Sports Illustrated. Only time will tell if he really gets picked first, but the sports media as a whole have already come to the foregone conclusion that he'll be taken first in 2013.
Texas A&M Fans Will Complain About Joining the SEC
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Aggie fans rejoiced as Texas A&M freed itself from the shadow of Texas in the Big 12, but often getting what you wish for turns out to be disastrous.
After all, A&M is now part of the most difficult division in college football. If they go 1-7 or 2-6 in their first year in the conference, the Big 12 is going to look much better to the fans than it does now.
Kentucky Will Replace Vanderbilt as the SEC's Bottom Dweller
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Vanderbilt and Kentucky are two programs going in vastly different directions. James Franklin has some new excitement going at Vandy.
Not division championship-quality excitement, but excitement nonetheless.
Kentucky football under Joker Phillips has a distinctly different feel. More of a "if things don't change soon we'll hit the bottom" kinda feel.
One Touchdown Will Be Called Back Due to a Celebration Penalty
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No, it won't be like Alabama celebrating their national championship win.
The new rule is that if a player celebrates en route the end zone, that is considered a dead ball at the spot of the foul.
That means if a player decides to, say, taunt another player on the 1-yard line, the ball will be called dead at the 1 and then the team will be backed up 15 yards for excessive celebration.
Steve Spurrier with Throw His Visor/Headset Five Times
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Steve Spurrier may seem to be all smiles, but don't let that fool you.
If he doesn't like a call, it's not uncommon for his visor, headset or both to go flying.
I wonder what kind of replacement program South Carolina has for his headsets?
Miami Will Get a Bowl Ban and Lose Scholarships
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The NCAA has not yet ruled on the Nevin Shapiro case, and predicting what the NCAA will do is like predicting what the weather will be in five years.
Miami kept themselves out of a bowl game in 2011, but I expect them to get a punishment similar to Ohio State and USC before them.
It's certainly not the "Death Penalty," and the Hurricanes should be able to bounce back in a few seasons.
Bronco Mendenhall Will Say "Execution at a High Level" at Least 25 Times
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Every coach has their own favorite phrases. BYU head coach Bronco Mendenhall's favorite word is "execution."
Just watch his press conferences and look for variants of the phrase, "executing at a high level." Now if only you could get a buck for every time he says that...
A Playoff Is Coming, and It Will Be the Top Four Teams
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Yes, there will be one more year for the BCS to continue its tyrannical rule over the college football postseason in 2013, but 2012 will be remembered as the year that the BCS became a lame duck.
Actually, this is becoming more and more of a foregone conclusion as even the Big Ten is on board for a new four-team playoff.
But if you had to bet between the SEC/Big 12's plan to take the top four teams and the Pac-12/Big Ten's idea to take just conference champions, I'd chose the SEC/Big 12's plan.
At Least Ten More Football Players Will Be Arrested for Smoking Pot This Season
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Clemson WR Sammy Watkins is one of the latest of a long list of college football players arrested for smoking pot.
He certainly won't be the last.
Don't be surprised if a fair number of players getting in trouble for possession of marijuana come from the SEC. According to a report from the AP, that conference is more lenient on discipline for smoking weed.
"Ch-Oklahoma" Will Strike Again
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Oklahoma is one of those teams that should be winning the national championships year in and year out, given the talent that goes to this school. While the Sooners indeed have been good at delivering Big 12 championships (they've won at least a share of the title seven times since Bob Stoops came to Norman), they've won only one national championship since 1999.
That's the same number as Texas, over the same period of time.
There's no doubt that Oklahoma will be good, but somewhere along the line the newspapers are going to have the headline: "Ch-Oklahoma Strikes Again."
Navy vs. Notre Dame Will Get Terrible TV Ratings
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Some games, you just have to be there for it to be worth watching.
Navy vs. Notre Dame is one of them.
It would be a fantastic experience for someone to actually go to Ireland and watch this game in person. If I had the money I'd do just that.
But unless you're a hardcore fan of either team, I doubt you'll get up at 9:00am Eastern (that's 6:00am for you folks on the west coast) on Saturday, September 1st for this one.
At Least One Coach Will End Up in the Hospital This Season
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This seems to becoming a trend in college football.
Michigan State head coach Mark Dantonio had a minor heart attack after beating Notre Dame in 2010, and Minnesota head man Jerry Kill was hospitalized more than once last season for problems with seizures.
Fortunately, both men seem to be OK and able to continue with their jobs.
Coaching a FBS program is a high-stress job. It requires long hours and carries high expectations. Besides, coaches are only human. Even Nick Saban must get sick now and again...
There'll Be No BCS Busters for the Second Year in a Row
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Unless a non-AQ team comes from nowhere, I sorry to say that there won't be another BCS buster in 2012.
Former busters TCU and Utah are now part of AQ conferences, and Boise State is in the middle of a major rebuilding season as they only have three returning starters this season. Houston has to replace Case Keenum and Hawaii just doesn't have what it takes this season.
The only non-AQ team that has something approaching a good chance in 2012 is BYU, but the Cougars have yet to run the table under Bronco Mendenhall. While the Cougars have have an easy November (Idaho, at San Jose State and at New Mexico State), BYU still needs to face Utah, Boise State, Notre Dame and Georgia Tech all on the road.
I'd love to be wrong on this one, but the odds really aren't good.
The SEC Will Make It to Their Seventh BCS National Championship Game in a Row
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We're not going to see an SEC vs. SEC BCS National Championship Game this year, thank heavens. However, I have a feeling that the SEC will extend their streak to seven. Alabama and LSU are the favorites once again, but you've got a decent crop of sleeper picks in Arkansas, Georgia and South Carolina.
Will they also win their seventh title?
I won't say that they will, but I also wouldn't bet against it.
Someone Will Hire Craig James, but It Won't Be ESPN, Sports Illustrated or Yahoo!
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Craig James quit ESPN to try his hand at Texas politics and he failed miserably. James got a pathetic four percent of the vote in the republican primary for the U.S. Senate.
Which means that the former SMU star will need to fall back on sportscasting to pay the bills.
ESPN won't want him back, thanks to the heat he brought on the organization in the Mike Leach case, and other self-respecting sports-reporting organizations know that to hire James is to play with fire.
I don't doubt that somebody in desperate need of attention will pick up James, but it won't be someone with a major network.
Bobby Petrino Will Try to Explain His Actions to the Media
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Bobby Petrino is doing the wise thing by laying low right now, but it's only a matter of time before he goes on a talk show trying to explain the unexplainable.
Namely, what on earth was he thinking when he took a woman half his age on a motorcycle ride that he was both having an affair with and had just hired in the Arkansas athletic department?
Mark my words, it'll happen before the end of the 2012 season.
The Preseason No. 1 Won't Finish No. 1
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Historically speaking, this bet is a good one.
In the BCS era (1998-present), the preseason favorite in the AP has gone on to win the national championship twice: Florida State in 1999 and USC in 2004. That means there's a 85 percent chance you'll be right in picking someone other than the preseason No. 1.
And if you don't count the 2004 championship thanks to Reggie Bush breaking NCAA rules, that increases the odds of being right to 92.3 percent.
Currently, the likely No. 1 preseason team is USC. Perhaps the Trojans should hope for No. 2 preseason instead...
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