Anthony Davis who?
With the 2012 NBA Draft lottery around the corner and the draft itself just a month a way, a sexy sports hotties mock is long overdue.
Teams clamor at the opportunity to snag a franchise-altering athlete and become agitated if they miss their mark or select a bona fide bust.
But that's not something we have to worry about here, because let's face it, everyone's a winner in this edition.
30. Golden State Warriors: Lacy Schnoor
Photo courtesy mahalo.com.
Golden State owner Joe Lacob desperately needs a talent that will distract the Warriors fanbase long enough for him to establish a clear-cut blueprint.
Something tells me, despite her background in Freestyle Skiing that Lacy Schnoor would do just that.
She'd buy Lacob nearly a decade to get things together.
29. Chicago Bulls: Natalie Gulbis
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images
Interim point guard and backcourt running mate for Derrick Rose be damned, what the Bulls really need is a healthy dose of Natalie Gulbis.
While Gulbis is best known for her appearances on the golf course, something tells me that she'd be just as welcome on the basketball court as well.
28. Oklahoma City Thunder: Alex Morgan
Nick Laham/Getty Images
Alex Morgan was the youngest player on the USA roster at the 2011 FIFA Women's World Cup, so she'd fit right in on an extremely young Oklahoma City team.
I'm not sure if Morgan has a background in basketball, but I can tell you this, there's no doubt she'd bring the Thunder on a nightly basis.
Pun intended.
27. Miami Heat: Kimiko Zakreski
Photo courtesy of sportsnet.ca.
Kimiko Zakreski can snowboard and pose for the camera, so why can't she fill the void at center for the Heat?
I'm searching for some justification that would make this a bad pick, but not so surprisingly, I haven't thought of anything.
26. Indiana Pacers: Miesha Tate
Ethan Miller/Getty Images
I'm never been much of an MMA connoisseur.
That's about to change.
The Pacers are in need of another sharp-shooter to solidify their rotation. I'm not sure if Miesha Tate is much of a shooter, but she sure looks sharp here.
Drafting here would all but guarantee Larry Bird repeats as Executive of the Year.
25. Memphis Grizzlies: Maria Kirilenko
Photo courtesy of worldshowbiz.info.
To be fair, the Grizzlies could probably use Andrei Kirilenko to help shore up their rotation.
To be even more fair, the not-related-to-Andrei Maria Kirilenko is more likely to sell tickets.
Though she's known for her tennis abilities, something tells me she's hot enough—I mean talented enough—to succeed in the NBA.
24. Cleveland Cavaliers: Caroline Wozniacki
Photo courtesy of tennis-tabletennis.weebly.com.
Bringing in Kyrie Irving prior to last season was a step in the right direction for the Cavaliers.
Adding tennis stud Caroline Wozniacki would turn that step into a leap.
Not to mention bringing the Cleveland fanbase even closer to forgetting about LeBron James.
23. Atlanta Hawks: Allison Baver
Photo courtesy of hostmaker.net.
Speed skating has never seemed so interesting.
Allison Baver is not only fast, but she would help instill an air of excitement into an otherwise mundane roster.
And perhaps, in the process, convince Josh Smith to stick around a little while longer.
22. Boston Celtics: Amber Cope
Photo courtesy of zimbio.com.
Amber Cope is incredibly hot, especially for a NASCAR speed demon.
The Celtics are in need of some added youth, and for the time being, Cope is under 30.
Even when she hits the dreaded sports milestone, though, something tells me she won't be over the hill for quite some time.
21: Boston Celtics: Angela Cope
Photo courtesy of elitedaily.com.
Because two is better than one.
20. Denver Nuggets: Niki Gudex
Photo courtesy of online-celebrity.com.
Compared to other sports, mountain biking doesn't receive enough coverage, kind of like Niki Gudex in this picture.
Her wardrobe preferences aren't all that popular in the NBA, but something tells me that the Nuggets and their fans from the Mile High City will be more than supportive of her fashion statements.
19. Orlando Magic: Hope Solo
Robin Marchant/Getty Images
Thanks to Dwight Howard, the Magic are in dire need of some hope for the future.
And who better to instill a sense of hope than soccer star Hope Solo?
See what I did there?
18. Minnesota Timberwolves: Lindsey Vonn
Theo Wargo/Getty Images
Some people were never meant to hit the slopes, but Lindsey Vonn is not one of them.
The Alpine skier has shown she has some serious moves when cruising down a mountain.
I'm positive she'll have no problem navigating the basketball court alongside Ricky Rubio and Kevin Love.
17. Dallas Mavericks: Lani Doherty
photo via surfcohawaii.com
Surfing guru Lani Doherty bears a striking resemblance to Elisha Cuthbert, and that's never a bad thing.
I'm not saying Doherty would help lead the Mavericks to an NBA title, but she'd sure as hell satisfy Dirk Nowitzki's need for a sidekick almost as much as Deron Williams would.
Maybe even more.
16. Houston Rockets: Kim Glass
Steve Dykes/Getty Images
Kyle Lowry has thrust the Rockets into an incredibly awkward situation.
Adding volleyball player Kim Glass to Houston's roster would make it all better.
15. Philadelphia 76ers: Rachelle Leah
Photo courtesy of s564.photobucket.com.
There aren't many picks that could ease the Sixers' pain from a Game 7 loss to the Celtics.
MMA ring-card model Rachelle Leah is an exception.
You're welcome, Doug Collins.
14. Houston Rockets: Danica Patrick
Chris Graythen/Getty Images
As if Kim Glass weren't enough.
As the last lottery pick of the draft, Danica Patrick would be a steal for the Rockets.
Sure, Patrick is known for her driving, but if this pose proves one thing, it's that she's got range.
And versatility can never be discounted.
13. Phoenix Suns: Maria Sharapova
Photo courtesy of vtennis.co.uk.
Replacing Steve Nash is not an easy task, but if anyone is up for the challenge, it's Maria Sharapova.
The tennis star may not strike some as the basketball type, but let's face it, Josh Childress and Jared Dudley aren't going to put people in the seats.
That's where Sharapova comes in.
12. Milwaukee Bucks: Alana Blanchard
photo via boardistan.com
Alana Blanchard may not be able to play minutes at the center position, but she's sure to be the center of attention.
While Milwaukee is hardly known for its surfing, perhaps Blanchard would take solace in knowing that both Monta Ellis and Brandon Jennings are more likely re-sign with the Bucks if she's in the locker room.
Just saying.
11. Portland Trail Blazers: Ana Ivanovic
Photo courtesy of sportressofblogitude.com.
Show me a member of the Trail Blazers fanbase who doesn't believe tennis goddess Ana Ivanovic would help erase all of Portland's woes and I'll show you a liar.
Raymond Felton was unable to inject life into the Blazers' offense, but perhaps Ivanovic could.
That said, I'm not entire sure LaMarcus Aldridge and Co. would be able to keep their eyes on the ball the entire time.
10. New Orleans Hornets: Anastasia Ashley
Photo courtesy of sportressofblogitude.com.
There's just something about a female athlete with two first names that makes me think she's a perfect fit for the Hornets.
New Orleans has their work cut out for them. Rebuilding a roster is never easy, but it becomes much more bearable when surfer Anastasia Ashley enters the fold.
Of course, she would have to turn her bikini in for a Hornets uniform, but I'm sure she could make that work.
9. Detroit Pistons: Fatima Moreira De Melo
Photo courtesy of perfectpeople.net.
There's probably not a soul in the world who could pronounce Fatima Moreiera De Melo's name 10 times fast, but that only makes her hotter.
The Pistons are in need of another piece to build around for the future. Convincing Moreiera De Melo to make the jump from field hockey to the NBA would ensure better days are on the horizon.
Yes, she's that gorgeous.
8. Toronto Raptors: Melanie Adams
Photo courtesy of guyism.com.
Some people could see the Raptors trading away their draft pick this year. I doubt that would even be a topic of conversation if Melanie Adams was at stake.
The heralded pole vaulter has it all, and Toronto would welcome the opportunity to bask in her beauty.
No, she's not potential free-agent target Jeremy Lin, but she would sell tickets for other reasons.
7. Golden State Warriors: Bruna Schmitz
photo via coolspotters.com
The Warriors are certainly not going to want to leave it to chance if surfer Bruna Schmitz is the one they have the opportunity to draft.
She's provocatively hot and conservatively pretty at the same time. If that's not a good fit alongside Stephen Curry, then what is?
Combined with Lacy Schnoor, I doubt the Golden State faithful would ever ridicule owner Joe Lacob again.
6. Portland Trail Blazers: Allison Stokke
Photo courtesy of topsportsstar.blogspot.com.
Allison Stokke doesn't receive enough credit. Not for her pole vaulting talents or for how she looks in the uniforms.
After a having a season that was hard to watch, drafting a hottie that's more than easy on the eyes would be a smart move for Portland.
A combination of Stokke and Ana Ivanovic are likely to be more effective than the duo of Jamal Crawford and Raymond Felton ever could be.
5. Sacramento Kings: Erica Hosseini
Photo courtesy of flickr.com.
Let's just say that with the addition of surfer Erica Hosseini, Sacramento's string of bad decisions will have come to an end.
4. New Orleans Hornets: Gina Carano
Photo courtesy of entertainmentwallpaper.com.
Forget about Chris Paul. Forget about Eric Gordon. Gina Carano is the star the Hornets would love to build around.
Carano may be an MMA superstar, but there's a wealth of beauty behind this deadly fighter.
And even if she can't make the type of impact New Orleans was hoping for, lining the locker room with pictures like this one is always an option.
3. Cleveland Cavaliers: Malia Jones
Photo courtesy of hawaii-five0.blogspot.com.
Kyrie Irving cannot win a championship on his own, but perhaps he and Malia Jones, along with earlier pick Caroline Wozniacki, can.
Here we have another surfer going in the first round, but who needs variety when they all look like this?
The Cavaliers certainly wouldn't balk at the opportunity to add her to the roster.
And you know what? Neither would I.
2. Washington Wizards: Sophie Horn
photo via sophiehorn.com
A John Wall and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist pairing is intriguing, but a Wall-Sophie Horn tandem is better.
Horn's forte is golf, but why not step on the hardwood and give basketball a try?
And while I can't make any guarantees, I can say with some confidence neither the Washington faithful, nor commissioner David Stern, would have a problem if her game attire consisted of nothing but half-wrapped flags.
1. Charlotte Bobcats: Leryn Franco
Scott Heavey/Getty Images
Anthony Davis isn't the only athlete who has the ability to restore a sense of purpose in Charlotte.
Leryn Franco is perhaps the sexiest javelin hurler the world has ever seen. And while she probably can't dunk or block shots, she can most certainly make it bearable to watch watch the Bobcats play again.
Not to mention the team photos. Those are pictures that every NBA fan would want to see.
Photo courtesy of funenclave.com.
0 Comments
Loading comments...
This comment and all replies have been deleted This comment has been deleted Undo delete