Most athletes, past and present, manage to craft a semi-professional look that doesn't embarrass themselves or the organization for which they play. Some pull together a head-to-toe look straight out of GQ, like the Heat's Dwyane Wade. Others do their best, but with much less success, like Giants quarterback Eli Manning.
Wade might have more style than Manning, but they both leave it all in the locker room and let their play do all the talking during a game. These guys don't need a ridiculous gimmick to get people talking about them—maybe it is because they are both confident in their abilities and have a few championship rings between them.
This is not to say that everyone in sports with a ridiculous haircut is an underperforming, attention-starved loser. Obviously, there are a few of those, but there are plenty of other reasons people cultivate attention-grabbing looks.
Sometimes they don't know they look stupid, sometimes they just enjoy looking stupid, sometimes they are overcompensating for a lackluster career and sometimes they just do it to bother people.
Whatever their reasons for going out of their way to look like clowns, here are the 30 worst hairstyles in sports.
TNT's Craig Sager is well known for his painfully ugly suits, as well he should be. But since so many people are distracted by these monstrosities, people rarely even notice his goofy toupee.
Actually, there's some debate on the Interwebs about whether or not Sager's 'do is a toupee or just an unfortunate cut—I'd place big money on toupee.
Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin might be a well-known superstar on the ice, but he's a well-known slob off the ice. He must get the occasional haircut, though, because it usually stays right around this length.
His standard party look usually involves pairing this shaggy, unkempt mop top with a pair of sweat pants, flip-flubs and a t-shirt that accentuates his offseason belly.
I'm actually a pretty big fan of the Afro, but not when you have to wear a helmet on a daily basis—it just doesn't work.
Seeing the A's Coco Crisp smushing this mess under a helmet just looks uncomfortable for him, and it's straight-up weird poking out the bottom of his hat.
Obviously, hair drenched in blood is always an unpleasant look, but Clay Guida's hair doesn't look much better not drenched in blood.
When your occupation is "cage fighter," you really shouldn't give the opposition so much to hang on to—right? Seems like an obvious thing to avoid.
The only thing that has changed about Miami Heat President Pat Riley's hair over the last three decades is the hairline and the amount of grey.
Other than that, Riley has been rocking this same unpleasant slicked-back 'do since before Dwyane Wade was even born.
All you Jersey Shore types out there might be in complete disagreement about Angels pitcher C.J. Wilson's inclusion on this list, but I stand by this decision.
There's nothing worse than a man who spends 45 minutes styling his hair, only to come out of the bathroom looking like a douchebaggier version of The Situation.
The whole ginger look is much more difficult for a man to rock than a woman. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
So, while I respect Flyers tough guy Scott Hartnell's willingness to go big or go home with this look, there's no denying that the whole thing is a mess.
MMA might be the only sport where looking like a sinewy lunatic straight out of Trainspotting actually works.
Thomas Denny's hair is almost always a some shade of ridiculous, but it certainly makes him stand out amongst a very large number of hard-to-remember athletes.
[Note to MMA fans: I'm sure you know every fighter in the world, but I meant more memorable to the casual fan, like me.]
Retired first baseman Dmitri Young gave me a new-found appreciation for the lushly maintained mane of Coco Crisp.
Young spent most of his career as one of the more rotund players in MLB—perhaps he felt big hair was slimming? Unfortunately, the end result was him looking like a clown.
[Note: This is his significantly toned-down look]
Lakers problem child Metta World Peace has been known for his outlandish hair styles/colors/engravings over the course of his career.
Always one to push the envelope, MWP had his hair dyed blonde and his new name in Hebrew colored into it in September 2011. That look was quite similar to the one in this photo.
MMA scrapper Josh Koscheck's bleached-out 'do of tight spiral curls definitely makes him memorable, and it probably works for him in California, where he trains.
But in the real world, this is the hair of a man you avoid at all costs.
So, in Lightning defenseman Mike Commodore's defense, he doesn't always look like this. Unfortunately, he's looked like this enough over his career that it's nearly impossible to picture him any other way.
Actually, that's not true, I can also picture him in a dirty little room in his underwear licking the money he's covered in. OMG ew.
Retired forward Scott Pollard played 11 years in the NBA, and even won a championship with the Boston Celtics in 2008.
But his career was unremarkable, and he'll likely be best remembered for his outlandish hairstyles over the years—the tiny Mohawk was his signature look, but he often changed it up.
Perhaps Bengals defensive tackle Domata Peko is angling for a Head and Shoulders deal, a la Troy Polamalu and Clay Matthews, but I think it's gotten out of hand.
He doesn't have the curly mane of Polamalu or the blonde locks of Matthews—it just doesn't work.
Adam Morrison is one of Michael Jordan's greatest career missteps. Seriously, even worse than his ill-fated baseball career or stint with the Wizards.
Maybe it's just me, but I would never have drafted a dude with this haircut—it makes him look lazy and sloppy.
Former player, coach and current ESPN NHL analyst Barry Melrose is most famous today for his decades-long devotion to his greasy mullet.
The Melrose mullet has changed in color, length and levels of greasiness, but it still remains today. As awful today as it ever was.
Retired ace Randy Johnson is another lifelong mullet devotee. The Big Unit is a fan of business in the front, party in the back, but had to trim off the party during his stint with the Yankees.
Don't they know the mullet gave Johnson all his pitching powers?
Former MMA fighter Hermes Franca should have been arrested for his crimes against fashion during his career—this purple hair is just a nightmare.
I guess we'll just have to settle for him being arrested and sent to prison for 42 months for crimes against teenage girls, instead.
Props to Flyers right winger Jaromir Jagr for finally wising up a few years ago and ditching his globally recognized mullet. That's more than you can say for the likes of Barry Melrose and other mullet addicts.
Changing style/fashion trends sometimes take quite a while to make it to the NHL, and they take substantially longer to make it to Eastern Europe. So you can't really blame Jags for his big hair misdeeds.
Hornets center Chris Kaman obviously doesn't have a lot of time to focus on things like grooming and personal hygiene.
Kaman is probably quite busy during the NBA season with basketball games and such, and during the offseason, we know he spends all his time setting off fireworks, buying guns and preparing for the rapture.
His look is a nightmare, but it's just perfect for someone preparing for the rapture in the offseason.
Sorry, Pats fans; I had to do it. I'm not hating on Tommy Terrific, though; I'm just hating on his hair in the "Gisele era." He's made no secret that his long locks are the influence of his supermodel wife.
Before Ms. Bundchen, Brady got regular haircuts and didn't give everyone in the country a reason to make fun of him. After Ms. Bundchen, Brady channeled Justin Bieber to horrifying results.
Retired footballer Carlos Valderrama played the game for nearly two full decades and rocked this mighty mane for just about all of them.
Over the years, it changed in shade of blonde and overall size, but it made him one of the most recognizable footballers on the planet.
Blackhawks winger Patrick Kane has a reputation as a party boy and a bit of a loon. In 2009, Kane was arrested for assaulting a cab driver and famously rejected the traditional playoff beard in favor of a "trashy mullet" a year later.
But he went back to basics in 2010, forgoing the playoff mullet for a beard.
I live in Washington, so let me preface all of this by saying that I love Bryce Harper and the whole city has gone baseball crazy over the suddenly formidable Natties. And a big part of the excitement stems from young phenom Bryce Harper.
That being said! What's…with…the…hair? Seriously. Seriously. You're better than this, dude.
German footballer Kevin Grosskreutz isn't really well-known for his talents. Obviously he's good enough to play professionally, but that's about it.
Which is probably why he feels the need to routinely up the ante on his ridiculous hair in order to attract attention to himself. Whatever works, I guess.
Bulls center Joakim Noah's draft photo with David Stern is definitely one of the most memorable of the last few decades, if not all-time.
Even though it's not the most professional look, I actually don't have much of a problem with his big, out-of-control mane. It's not for everyone, but clearly, it suits Noah's personality.
The look I really hate is Noah's game-day bun—he needs to consider some Allen Iverson-style cornrows during the NBA season. There's nothing intimidating about a man with a bun.
Former player and current NHL analyst Brian Engblom has one of the most inconceivably, inexplicably bad hairstyles in sports history. It's borderline insane that he has been dedicated to some variation of this look for years.
Engblom's hair is hard to even understand, much like the rat's nest that billionaire blowhard Donald Trump wears on his massive dome.
Chargers nose tackle Antonio Garay has been in the NFL since 2003. Under the "career highlights and awards" section on his Wikipedia page, it says "none."
But his Wikipedia page does note that he is best recognized for his "outrageous hairstyles." I guess if you can't play like a champion, the next best thing is looking like a clown.
Retired NBA bad boy Dennis Rodman's crazy hair was probably responsible for making him a household name when he played for the Bulls and helped him stand out while playing next to the likes of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen.
Eventually, though, Rodman's menacing antics and never-ending supply of manic panic really jumped the shark—ultimately becoming a punchline and diminishing the accomplishments of his once-great career.
There's a lot of things about the late, great Al Davis that nobody will ever understand—like wasting first-round draft picks on third-round talent and what happened to his head that required that frightening band-aid in 2011. That was just how Al Davis rolled; no explanations are needed.
What does need an explanation is how or why he allowed his son Mark to get away with this ridiculous bowl cut. Sure, Davis was a rebel and not a stickler for clean-cut appearances, but Mark's oddly shaped, tightly-trimmed bowl cut is an embarrassment to the entire Raiders franchise.
Is there anyone in that organization with the stones required to confront the son of Al Davis about this horrifying monstrosity? Probably not.