What follows is a complete starting lineup of the best hair in world football. This team has everything. From faux hawks to afros to the just plan weird.
Bob Marley and Sideshow Bob would be proud.
Who's No. 1? Who did I forget? Let me know what you think. I look forward to everyone's feedback.
Ochoa's flowing locks beat out tough competition from Petr Cech's headgear.
He is the lion of the Spanish National team, both symbolically and physically.
Coloccini gives Sideshow Bob a run for his money.
Barcelona have been linked to Luiz. I can see why.
He is clearly the natural successor to Puyol in every sense of the word.
I like how he adds the sideburns. Because his hair alone is not enough of a statement.
It's never hard to pick out Fellaini when he goes up for a header.
Shelvey brings together the best aspects of Mr. Clean and Uncle Lester.
Pirlo is single handedly upholding Italian stereotypes. Trips to the salon appear to be part of his pre-game preparations.
Neymar is easily the most versatile on this list. He flows seamlessly from Japanese pop singer to faux hawk with ease.
Amidst the burning of his own home and Lamborghini accidents, it's easy to forget that Super Mario has great hair too.
Steven Seagal would be proud.
So that's my list.
Who reigns supreme? I'll let you decide.