There really aren't all that many lazy professional athletes out there. The very fundamental nature of their job usually demands a pretty high level of un-laziness. And shush, I realize "un-laziness" isn't a "real" word, but you know what I'm talking about.
Lazy players are a very small minority of all professional athletes, but obviously they do exist. There are a few special players in every sport who buck the trends and manage to keep their jobs, despite playing without heart, urgency or enthusiasm.
Some of these guys have enough overwhelming talent to give 50 percent and still be better than most of the guys around them. While others are just lucky enough to get signed by professional bad decision makers like the Knicks, Cubs or Bengals.
Let's take a look at 25 of the laziest athletes in sports today and a few lazy hall-of-famers from the past.
"I remember when I could still see my shoes over my gut"
Accusations of laziness have followed quarterback Donovan McNabb throughout his NFL career. Former Eagles teammate Terrell Owens famously questioned his physical preparation and readiness after their Super Bowl loss to the Patriots.
And more recently in July 2011, retired linebacker Bill Romanowski brought up the same issue. Romanowski insisted that Redskins coach Mike Shanahan is "not a difficult guy to get along with" and that McNabb's laziness punched his ticket out of Washington.
Capitals superstar Alex Ovechkin has gone through his share of scoring slumps over the last few seasons, but he always seems to get his magic back at some point.
Perhaps it wouldn't take him as long to find his magic each season if he kept it a little tighter during the off season? No judgement.
He looks tired, doesn't he?
The Wizard's Andray Blatche isn't exactly a beloved sports figure in Washington, DC—and that's putting it mildly. Blatche's career in the NBA has been unremarkable (at best) and he's frequently accused of being lazy.
That's probably because he's missed long stretches of games due to conditioning. Oh, he's also pretty fat for a professional athlete. But don't worry, he knows all about it and has a plan to drop the excess LBs—cutting his hair.
"I'll get it next time, fellas!"
For four seasons J.D. Drew was the most ridiculously overpaid member of the Boston Red Sox. It took a few years, but at least the Sox finally saw the error of their ways and parted ways with their resident lazy frat boy.
Drew's former manager Tony LaRussa frustrations with him were made public in Buzz Bissinger's book The Nights in August. LaRussa said Drew lacked passion for the game and that his bloated contract made him lazy.
Not that anyone who has ever seen Drew play needed confirmation on this issue.
Must be time for a candy break
If I thought that sensitive forward Lamar Odom's main problem was laziness, he'd be much higher on this list. But he's got a whole slew of issues and laziness is one of the lesser problems.
Odom's well documented candy addiction is pretty disturbing, and this is coming from someone who really loves her candy. And his public emotional breakdown after being traded by the Lakers was followed by a complete physical breakdown with the Mavericks and a swift exit from Dallas.
Odom quit on Dallas, quit his reality show and may very well quit the NBA for good. Leaves me to wonder what the 32-year-old Odom plans to do for the rest of his life. I wish he'd start by kicking the Kardashians to the curb and coming back to play ball.
It's no secret that Jets embattled quarterback Mark Sanchez has had a rough six months. After making two straight appearances in the AFC Championship game, the Jets failed to even make the playoffs in 2011 and many have pointed the finger at the quarterback.
It's one thing to be attacked by fans or the media, but it was his teammates labeling Sanchize as lazy and entitled in January, 2012. Naturally the source(s) of the accusations was unwilling to attach his name to the story, but the fact that very few within the organization came to his defense was telling.
Also telling? Bringing in workout warrior and the hardest working man in show biz, Tim Tebow, to "motivate" Sanchez.
"I'm so embarrassed"
Utah Jazz point guard Jamaal Tinsley isn't really good for anything besides warming the bench. Apparently that's pretty important in the NBA because this waste of space has been occupying a roster spot on various teams for over a decade.
Tinsley had a promising start in the league, but his early career was mired by injuries. Eventually he lost his starting job with the Pacers and President of Basketball Operations Larry Bird barred him from team facilities until a trade could be worked out.
Addition by subtraction.
Looking svelte as ever
White Sox designated hitter Adam Dunn's nickname is "Big Donkey." I'm not sure if this has anything to do with him being large and slow—it could just be an awesome coincidence.
Before he was signed by the Sox, the Yankees were actually considering signing Dunn. Ultimately they passed and a Yankee executive said of Dunn, "He's not a New York kind of guy," and added that he was a "good guy," but lazy.
Dunn's first season with the White Sox was a self-described "nightmare," and he admitted to getting lazy. So far it looks like he might be rebounding in 2012, but let's see how long it lasts.
Dude looks winded just standing around staring
The Bengals continued their proud tradition of drafting trouble makers with character issues early in the first round of the 2009 NFL Draft.
They selected Andre Smith, a talented offensive tackle out of Alabama who had been suspended from playing in the 2009 Sugar Bowl because he dealt with an agent. He proved he was serious about the game by showing up at his Pro Day in what looked to be a woman's fat suit—unfortunately, it was all him.
Unfortunately for the Bengals, Smith has often performed on the field like a woman wearing a fat suit. He was named most improved player earlier this year and claims he'll be in "tip-top shape" for the upcoming season.
"Oh no you did NOT just call me lazy"
Nigerian footballer Yakubu Aiyegbeni plays for the Blackburn Rovers in Lancashire, England. Aiyegbeni is a great talent, but has often been accused of being lazy and disinterested int he game.
Fans seem to be pretty divided on the issue, which has sparked endless hostile debate on the interwebs.
Who needs a glove to play third base?
Marlins third baseman Hanley Ramirez is a three time All-Star and finished second in the 2010 Home Run Derby. Which is even more impressive considering he was benched two months prior to the derby for his inexcusably lazy play.
A year later Ramriez was called out by former Marlin Jeff Conine who described him as a "phenomenal talent" who was (essentially) lazy and complacent. Conine added that if the decision was his, Ramirez would be traded.
Within days of the Conine remarks, Ramirez was also called out by teammate Logan Morrison for showing up late to a pre-game meeting. Morrison told Ramirez that he was lazy and that's why his play was suffering and Ramirez told Morrison he was just jealous.
The rubber and glue defense is always a winner.
"Want me to leave? Cause I'll do it. Seriously, I don't care"
Brazilian footballer Ronaldinho plays for Flamengo in Rio de Janeiro and is a member of Brazil's national team. He won the FIFA World Player of the Year award in both 2004 ad 2005.
His stellar play continued through 2006 before experiencing a steep decline in performance and production. Ronaldinho's weight gain and lack of conditioning were said to blame for his troubles.
At age 32, he's never going to get back to where he once was, but recent news suggests he's still got some magic left. Hopefully he's still got some motivation left too.
I've always heard that snakeskin is very slimming
Offensive tackle Bryant McKinnie out of Miami was selected seventh overall by the Vikings in the 2002 NFL Draft. He started every game for the Vikes between 2003 and 2007 and was selected to the Pro Bowl for the first time in 2009.
Apparently that was enough for McKinnie because he pretty much checked out after that. McKinnie didn't even play in the game because the leagued booted him from the team for skipping four practices and the team photo. He was cut by the Vikes in 2011 and the Ravens decided to give him a shot.
Considering he took out a $4.3 million loan before the lockout that he's having trouble paying back, he had to have been happy for the pay check. Naturally he showed up fat in 2011 and the Ravens are concerned he'll show up fat in 2012.
This guys is going to be destitute and 200 pounds overweight within five years of leaving the NFL—I guarantee it.
"Does it look like I care?"
Ah yes, Bode Miller. The pride of America. Oh, and when I said "pride," I actually meant "disgrace." You remember Bode Miller, right? The alpine skier who was expected to be the toast of the 2006 Olympics in Turin.
In a way though, Miller was the toast of the event—but he was doing all of the toasting and all of the drinking, himself. Miller confessed during a few interviews that winning wasn't exactly his top priority and that he had competed in plenty of races completely "wasted" over the years.
Miller even said he was considering skipping the competition entirely and was just able to "party and socialize at an Olympic level." Needless to say, Bode didn't have to find room in his luggage for any medals on the way home.
That's right Cubbies, celebrate all you can in APRIL
There's a reason that the Cubs, who have one of the highest payrolls in MLB, finished below the lowly Pirates, who pay their players in jelly beans and scratch and win tickets, in 2011.
It's because they a number of lazy complainers like Alfonso Soriano to be lazy complainers. Soriano may have been worth the trouble early in his career, but today at age 36, he is absolutely not. Yet, the Cubs are paying him $18,000,000 in 2012 for his "services."
Actually, Soriano hit a game-winning RBI in extra innings against the Cardinals in April—so that's pretty good. Too bad he celebrated with a Gatorade bath…in Aprill…
I know I had a little fun at the expense of Capitals superstar Alex Ovechkin, but his offseason beefiness is nothing compared to the laziness of his teammate Alexander Semin.
For years, the Capitals have been chronic underachievers in the playoffs and it's because year-after-year some of their biggest names fail to show up in the post season. Semin is chief among that list and his former teammate Matt Bradley wasn't afraid to call him out for it in August, 2011.
Semin is generally considered one of the most under-achieving players in the NHL and a recent player poll named him the most "easily intimated" player in the league. His agent has said he's unlikely to return to the Caps next season.
Something tells me Caps fans won't be crying over that loss.
"Listen, it's not that I'm lazy—it's that I just don't care"
The laziness of moody and combative wide receiver Randy Moss is the stuff of legends.
And legendarily awesome wide receiver Jerry Rice had this to say about Moss in 2011: "It was hard for me to swallow because I was not as talented and I had to work harder. To see a guy with that much talent not give it 100 percent, it was almost like a little slap in the face. But Randy was Randy."
And when Moss announced his plans for a comeback in February 2012, his former teammate and mentor Cris Carter cautioned teams about "the elephant in the room. It's that thing called quit. And Randy, not like any other superstar I've met, he has more quit in him than any of those players."
Moss has taken off plays, games, weeks and entire seasons throughout his NFL career. He may be one of the most talented ever, but he's nowhere near the best.
He didn't notice someone took his basketball away
Eddy Curry was drafted straight out of high school by the Bulls and was the fourth overall pick of the 2001 NBA Draft. Thanks to injuries and a compete lack of conditioning, Curry's career never even got off the ground. The fact that he's still earning a paycheck in the league is one of life's greatest mysteries.
Curry's weight was a major problem throughout his entire career. Enough of a problem that he needed to lose 100 pounds to get into playing shape for the Heat. Seriously—100 pounds. Money problems and foreclosures have also plagued him, which is impressive considering he's raked in over $100 million in salary since being drafted.
Some have called Curry an embarrassment to pro sports…and I think that sounds about right.
As focused as ever
Fans have accused Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov of being lazy, arrogant, selfish and even shameful. And football announcers have called him "lazy" and "abysmal" live on the air.
If you were worried that Berbatov was at home crying over these nasty allegations, don't worry, he wasn't. Berbatov doesn't need to bother with stupid things like fans…or practice…or whatever.
And guess what, Berbatov is not even lazy. He's just so damn good that he makes it look easy—and you just think he's lazy because you're a jealous hater. Well, that was his story at least. Seriously, it was.
"Are we done yet?"
I know, I know. Manny Ramirez isn't lazy, he's just "Manny being Manny." I've actually come to love that as an explanation for everything from him faking an injury to get out of spring training to him testing positive for PEDs.
Well "Manny being Manny" in this case is Manny being lazy. Manny being overweight. And, basically, Manny being an overall "disgrace" to the game of baseball. Add the fact that he signed Manny Ramirez to the laundry list of reasons I hate Billy Beane.
While researching this list, I came across a question on Yahoo! Answers that made me laugh: Why is Manny Ramirez such an arrogant, lazy idiot?
That, my friend, is one of life's greatest mysteries.
Partners in suck
Man! Can you believe how far we've come since USC's Matt Leinart and Texas' Vince Young battled in the 2006 BCS National Championship? That game was one of the greatest in college football history and both Leinart and Young were selected in the first round of the NFL Draft a few months later.
Cut to today. Leinart is pretty much the same beer chugging frat boy he was in college—the only difference is that he doesn't have to worry about playing football. And then there's Young, who actually had a somewhat promising start in the NFL, but laziness and an obviously fragile mental situation have relegated him to (a likely) career backup.
But seriously, have you ever seen two dudes happier to be backup quarterbacks? Leinart is a natural holding that clipboard and staring vacantly throughout a game. And Vince "Dream Team" Young sure knows how to attract attention to his position.
The lazy slack jaw is a dead giveaway
The game of hockey doesn't really lend itself to laziness. The level of conditioning required to even play the game poorly is pretty much unfathomable to most of us mortals.
That being said, there's always a few people bucking the trend, and the Predators Andrei Kostitsyn is one of them. It doesn't matter how in shape a player is if he doesn't play with heart or urgency. Kostitsyn underachieved in Montreal and was shipped to the Preds in February, 2012.
And it seems he may already be wearing out his welcome in Nashville. After missing a team meeting and being late for curfew, Kostitsyn and teammate Alex Radulov were both benched for a crucial Game 4 of the Western Conference semifinals against the Coyotes in May, 2012.
Looks like someone could use a drink or 10
The PGA's resident spectacle John Daly has actually cleaned up his act (to a degree) in the last two years. In 2010 he made a commitment to change and declared "the era of being lazy and hitting buttons (was) over."
Daly has dropped some weight since then and has gotten into less trouble on the course. Unfortunately, his game hasn't really improved all that much and he will likely always be known as that fat dude who got arrested at Hooters and took a leak on the course at Pebble Beach.
But we love him for it. Kinda.
Bynum looks most at home riding the pine
I've never been a fan of Lakers petulant big man Andrew Bynum—he's the opposite of everything I love about Kobe Bryant. Bynum is lazy, immature, indifferent and he doesn't seem all that bright.
I used to get hit with a lot of very passionate defenses for Bynum, but they've dwindled over the years. And after Bynum's abysmal performance in the Western Conference semifinals against the Thunder in 2012, something tells me that trend isn't going to reverse itself anytime soon.
There's no doubt that Kobe's skills are diminishing with age, but he's still got the drive of a champion. Which is exactly what Bynum lacks—making him 285 pounds of dead weight. Time to cut bait on this dud.
Standing around doing nothing sure is tiring
Oh! And he has no idea how contracts work. After the Redskins signed him to a $100 million dollar deal, Haynesworth didn't do anything but sweat and take up space. It's not like $100 million dollars and a signed contract entitled the Skins to his football playing services or anything.
Actually fatty, that's exactly what a contract does. And asking a man to do his job and earn his bloated paycheck doesn't mean his employer is treating him like a "slave."
Do us all a favor and just retire, dude.
Not too lazy for burgling
Ah yes! Poor Ryan Leaf, the man who has been living in the sizable shadow of Peyton Manning for over a decade.
Leaf was too lazy and stupid to make it in the NFL, but at least he's not too lazy to break into your house and steal your pain meds.
The vacant stare of a warrior
I'm about to plagiarize myself, which I realize sounds a little lazy on my part. Oh the irony! Whatever though.
The Raiders drafted quarterback JaMarcus Russell out of LSU in April 2007 and in September signed him to the richest rookie contract in NFL history.
Over the next three seasons, Russell repaid the Raiders with some of the most lackluster, ineffectual and straight-up awful quarterback play ever for an early round draft pick.
Russell signed a six-year, $61 million contract, with $32 million guaranteed. He lasted just three seasons with the Raiders, playing 31 games, before being cut. Ultimately he walked away with $40 million.
Let’s break that down for a little perspective on the scale of wretchedness:
Per Season: $13,333,333
Per Game: $1,290,322
Per Touchdown: $7,777,777
Per Completion: $112,994
Former first round draft picked Matt Jones was one of the most useless first round draft picks of the decade. Jones was selected by the Jaguars in 2005 and his career highlights include suspensions for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy and getting arrested for possession of drugs.
The Jags cut him after three seasons and he failed to make the Bengals roster after they signed him to a one-year deal in 2010. The Redskins actually offered Jones a tryout in November 2010, but he declined and informed them he'd prefer to retire.
I guess none of this should come as a surprise from a person who once slept through a tornado as a teenager in Arkansas. That should have been a major red flag to NFL teams.
Naturally, they were both given big bloated contracts by the Knicks at some point. We all know the Knicks have never met a fat, lazy waste of space that they weren't desperate to over pay for.
Said Ralph Warner of Complex: "SMH, were the Knicks just putting out tons of "Help Wanted" ads asking for overweight lazy players in the early 2000s?"
Good question. My bet is yes.
Another player who made the Complex list is retired big man Oliver Miller. And when I say big, I mean big. Miller took top "honors," earning the No. 1 spot as the fattest player in NBA history.
Miller tipped the scales at over 300 pounds by the end of his career. Which, as you might imagine, wasn't really great for his stamina or anything else for that matter.
Don't worry though, Miller is doing just fine these days. In fact, in April 2011, he was arrested for assault after pulling a gun and pistol whipping a man at a friendly neighborhood barbecue.
Hey, at least he didn't shoot the guy. Score one for the biggest big man ever.