On Monday, ESPN.com's John Hollinger answered some questions in a chat about the state of the NBA.
I wasn't happy with the results.
As the old saying goes, if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself. Well, I want this chat done right—and I'm willing to take on all comers to make it happen.
Here, then, is the real truth for Hollinger's poor, misled quizzers.
Jon (Cambridge, MA): Surprised by how easy the Spurs made things in Game 6?
Kevan: Yes, I was shocked that the Suns didn't go down without a fight—a literal, physical fight. I would have loved to see Boris Diaw pull out a folding chair from behind the basket support and take matters into his own hands after a hard foul.
Adam (Syracuse, NY): I'd rather watch re-runs of the Boston Marathon than this snooze fest called the NBA Conference Finals and Finals.
Kevan: Easy there, Adam—let's not give Versus any ideas. The NBA playoffs have, indeed, gone downhill. Faced with the choice of Dancing with the Stars or the Eastern Conference semifinals...I decided to turn the television off and seriously contemplate joining a monastery. The only way the Conference Finals are Must-See TV is if the Utah Jazz show up on the Lost island and Blake from American Idol comes off the bench for the Cavs.
Larry Harris (Milwaukee, WI): Hey (Kevan)—Charlie Villanueva and Dan Gadzuric for Marcus Camby. Think the Nuggets will bite?
Kevan: Highly doubtful—but wasn't Gadzuric the guy from Perfect Strangers? If so, I think the Nuggets should seriously consider.
Robert (NY): Man, how badly did the Suns get screwed in the San Antonio Stern series? They lose game 1 because of the blood rule, and game 5 because of the ridiculous bench rule.
Kevan: Normally, I'm all for anything that evokes something as descriptive as "the Blood Rule"...but the Suns-Spurs series was a sham on so many levels that it reminded me of professional wrestling. When Robert Horry gave Steve Nash the People's Elbow, I nearly lost it. Thankfully I didn't—or else I might have been suspended for Game Five too. San Antonio is a talented team, but I don't think they would have beaten the Suns in an even series.
CC (Atlanta): Fill in the blank: The Hawks will NOT take PGs Mike Conley or AC Law in favor of ______, a 6'9" swing man.
Kevan: Ooh, I love mad libs. Okay, you're looking for a proper name...um, Dick Cheney. The Hawks will draft Dick Cheney and make him into a 6'9" swingman.
Guy Incognito: When you say that the Cleveland-Detroit series will be a "slow-down, grind-it-out affair," how slow are we talking? Do you think first team to 80 wins it? 85? 90?
Kevan: I think the first team to elbow the other team's star player into submission will win.
Dan v. Los Angeles: After watching these playoffs, is it safe to say that Mehmet Okur is the worst all-star selection in history?
Kevan: Hardly. I think Las Vegas is the worst All-Star selection in history.
Dave (Daytona): Any updates on the Brian Hill job watch?
Kevan: Hill is probably on his way out of Orlando. The only question is who will replace him. I have it on good authority that the Magic are in serious negotiations with Mickey Mouse...if he can void his contract with nearby Disney World. Dwight Howard couldn't be happier.
J Bird (Jersey): Vince showed us the reason Toronto was willing to dump him for nothing. He's the biggest waste of talent in the league right now. He seems to care enough to hate losing, but not enough to fight to win. He doesn't fit with Kidd and RJ, who are warriors.
Kevan: Until he shows the willingness to throw an elbow at Steve Nash, I don't think Carter can ever be called a winner.