Why Ravens Quarterback Joe Flacco Needs a New Name
When I think of great Baltimore quarterbacks, names like Johnny Unitas and Bert Jones immediately come to mind (sorry, Trent Dilfer). But I keep thinking to myself, can a guy with a name like "Flacco" ever really rise to become a legendary quarterback? Let alone a great one, or a decent one?
Flacco doesn't seem to ring well next to Montana, Favre, Elway, Marino, Bradshaw, or Staubach. Can you picture "Flacco" being indelibly tattooed into the memory banks of Baltimore sports fans for years? Dilfer suffered the curse of a bad name (not to mention an anemic offense), so nobody ever remembers his contributions to the team's SuperBowl victory.
For some reason, I find myself strangely rooting for Flacco, though. He has this undeniable awe-Shucks quality to him—like the semi-local guy done-good. (Think Cal Ripken Jr.)
Flacco has the hardware to become a great quarterback...6'5"-ish. With an incredible arm. We'll see how the software works out.
I posit that if Flacco had a cooler name—like Colt McCoy, he'd have a better shot at immortality. Colt's parents were astute enough to give their kid a super-cool name, with a built-in mystique to which to potentially live up.
But Joe Flacco's parents weren't so prescient. They could've easily done better than naming their son "Joe." (With all due respect to Joe Montana, who did OK with a similar fate—cuz his last name was so Hollywood).
That's why I propose that Flacco change his first name to "Jacket."
Sounds tough. And indestructable. Like Johnny Unitas, and Bert Jones. And Colt McCoy.
Nobody named "Jacket Flacco" is gonna collapse in the pocket.
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