No Moss, No Mas

Gavin Brownstein by Correspondent Written on March 04, 2008
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Bears fans rejoice!

Brett Favre who, for over a decade, has ripped the hearts out of our bodies and stomped on them like cigarette butts finally has called it a career.

As a Bears fan, I celebrate today for many reasons.  Many of my associates live in Wisconsin, and today is a day of extraordinary doom for them. 

I, being the small-minded person I am, am jumping on them.  Does that make me a lunkhead? The type of Bears meathead fan who celebrates a bad season for the Bears because they beat the Packers twice?  For one day, you bet your ass!

Taking a quick look at the numbers you say to yourself that this Favre guy broke almost every single passing record in the NFL

He started every game since people like John Candy, Ronald Reagan, and Abraham Lincoln were alive. 

He led quarterbacks in numerous statistics in the late-1990s, including amount of vicodin taken in a given week.  He threw 442 touchdowns, ran for 13, and even had a 40-yard rush in 1995.  His 39 playoff touchdowns are awfully impressive. 

But, amazingly enough, he has something in common with guys like Trent Dilfer, Doug Williams, Phil Simms, Jim McMahon, Eli Manning, and David Woodley.  He won but one Super Bowl. 

For such a legendary man, he seems surprisingly above average at best.  In my mind, the mark of a champion is winning, not once, but multiple times. 

When Michael Jordan "retired" from Chicago for the second time, that was a sad day.  We celebrated his career because he was a winner.  The six titles likely would have been eight had he not "retired" those two years. 

Am I blowing off steam?  Hell yes I am! 

Favre is in all honesty one of the top eight or nine quarterbacks in the history of the league.  He seems to be a very nice and down-to-earth person. 

To those who live in Wisconsin and all of Packer Nation, I sincerely apologize for your loss.  Your team will survive.  

Lastly, to all Packer fans, let me be the first to welcome you back to mediocrity.  The Bears have been keeping it warm for ya.   

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written on March 04, 2008 Humor

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