Over the Limit will be over the limit of most fans' capacity to handle greatness! Fans who are at the palatial PNC Arena in Raleigh, NC on May 20 will be enthralled with WWE at its finest.
Anyway, this pay-per-view will hinge on whether anyone gives two pieces of monkey crap about the John Cena vs. John Laurinaitis feud. If not, then fans will head out to the john once the match starts.
Of course, the one match diehard internet fans care about is CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship. The indies have finally taken over WWE. Another compelling match is a battle between an Irishman, a Canadian, a Mexican and an American for the World Heavyweight Championship.
These two matches alone will exceed the limits of the fans to handle art in the wrestling ring. Thus, the moniker of Over the Limit is well-deserved. There are only five advertised matches on the card so far. I expect a couple of impromptu matches to be added on Sunday.
Listen to Kane's theme song as you witness Zack Ryder being tormented by the big red monster. WWWYKI.
Estimated Match Time: 5 minutes
Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler is as old as time itself. It is a timeless classic steeped in tradition. It has only been seen 234,059 times over the past few years.
The additions of R-Truth and Jack Swagger will add another chapter to this iconic rivalry. The tag team championships have now been elevated in prestige. A tag team title match made it to the pay-per-view.
Anyway, Kofi Kingston pins Dolph Ziggler with a Trouble in Paradise. Ziggler will sell the move as well as a salesman selling freezers in the North Pole.
Winner (and still champions): Air Truth
Estimated Match Time: 15 minutes
Cody Rhodes is a man in limbo right now. He is not quite able to jump in to the main event scene on Smackdown. Nor is he truly a mid-carder anymore with his run as Intercontinental Champion.
Santino is a man who would fail in the game of limbo, as he is very over with the fans. WWE seems to be focused on pushing the Italian wannabe on Raw.
I expect this match to be added on Sunday. The precipitous decline of Rhodes continues as Santino victimizes him with a cobra. Cody Rhodes fans everywhere weep in agony.
Estimated Match Time: 10 minutes
This match is one of the most difficult to predict. Kharma's impending return will determine WWE's course of action on the Divas division.
Beth can win the strap setting up a feud with Kharma. However, history tells us champions rarely lose in their first title defense, which gives the edge to Layla.
I will give you one guess as to how this match ends. Hint: it confuses me how Beth Phoenix still has not figured out how to combat the roll up.
Winner (and still champion): Layla
Estimated Match Time: 7 minutes
Sheamus is excited for this epic four way battle. The Irishman defends this title against an American, a Canadian and a Mexican. Internationalists in the PNC Arena will look forward to this incredible match.
The great thing about this match is all four men have storyline beef with each other. It will undoubtedly be one of the top matches of the night. My expectation is Sheamus retains with a kick to the skull of Chris Jericho.
Winner (and still champion): Sheamus
Estimated Match Time: 20 minutes
The Miz won the main event of WrestleMania 27. Take that in for a second. Now he is jobbing to a fat dancer who calls himself Funkasaurus.
Somebody call my mama.
Winner: Brodus Clay
Estimated Buffets Brodus Clay Destroys After the Match: 27
Dear Internet Wrestling Community,
I have heard your cries. I have your complaints about there not being enough wrestling. I have answered your pleas. I have given you CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship. Please know your role and shut your mouth.
Vincent K. McMahon
P.S. Please stop complaining after this is a match of the year candidate. Otherwise I am putting the WWE Championship back on John Cena. The fans are to not say "yes" after Daniel Bryan wins the WWE Championship.
Winner (and new champion): Daniel Bryan
Estimated Match Time: 25 minutes
SPOILER ALERT: John will win the main event.
The Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, John Laurinaitis, has generated sufficient heel heat by firing Big Show. It is ironic Laurinaitis has a title with talent in it because he does not have any talent whatsoever.
As for John's opponent, John Cena badly needs time off. But you already know that.
Therefore, Johnny Ace will win to close Over the Limit. Big Show will cost John Cena the match. Show will turn heel to get back his job. This will write John Cena off of TV for the foreseeable future (in my dreams).
Winner: John Laurinaitis
Estimated Match Time: 15 minutes
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Daniel Bryan yells as he captures the WWE Championship. "No! No! No!" Lord Tensai yells as catering runs out of food.
CM Punk will demand a rematch at No Way Out. I hope they will have an epic tetralogy of sheer brilliance climaxing in a Iron Man match at SummerSlam!
I expect that Chris Jericho will feud with Sheamus at No Way Out. Perhaps No Way Out will be Jericho's last match before he takes time off to fulfill Fozzy tour dates.
Randy Orton and Alberto Del Rio will also feud, perhaps in a number one contender's match. Christian's impending return should give him one more match for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Thanks for reading!