You know, Brian Wilson may actually have something here.
The Giants closer has made a killing off his trademark beard, but he's actually following in a long and storied tradition of great facial hair in baseball.
It used to be the mustache. Rollie Fingers, Goose Gossage, heck, all the greats had one. Now it seems like the beard is the facial weapon of choice these days.
Here are the 10 coolest ones in Major League Baseball.
Chris Perez is like your buddy from college who could always grow an amazing beard. It's a little unkempt, but nicely trimmed at the same time.
He probably claims that he's too lazy to shave it off, but we all know it's because the ladies love it.
It just wouldn't be right to have an Astro without a pointy, King Tut-like beard.
Obviously, Jeff Bagwell carried that torch for awhile, and carried it well, but Brett Myers has been there to pick up where he left off.
It looks like if Jay Leno grew a beard.
As a goatee guy myself, I think they should definitely count in the beard category, and Youk has one of the best in baseball.
I give him extra points because it's the only hair on his head. Not easy to pull off the bald and bearded look.
Very Captain Jack Sparrow.
Throw in a pretty epic mullet, and I would say that Mr. John Axford is significantly rocking that look.
Dangit, Jayson Werth is just so cool.
His beard isn't quite what it used to be, but the man just knows how to pull off the look. The big shaggy hair and the face whiskers say "I don't care about my appearance (but I secretly do care, ladies)."
Sadly, a lot of people out there are ashamed to be redheads. For some reason, our society has turned our backs on our redheaded fellow man.
I love redheads, which is why I fully support them when they grow out a beard. It's like saying "not only do I have red hair on my head, but it's all over my face too. What now?"
Total power move.
I personally think Brian Wilson's beard jumped the shark a season ago, but he's still dying that thing, wearing it proudly and looking more and more homeless each year.
Doesn't matter. Wilson is one of the most recognizable guys in the game, which is funny to say because I don't think anyone would be able to tell who he was without that beard anymore.
Also, I was going to include Sergio Romo on this list, but he and Wilson are basically the same person now, so it doesn't count.
Yu know we had to do Yu.
I'm not the biggest fan of the chinstrap, but if you're a baller like Yu, I'll allow it.
At least it merges into a respectable goatee instead of chinstrapping all the way around his face. That would have just been unacceptable.
I don't know when Prince Fielder decided to let his hair completely take over his face, but I fully support that decision.
He's got one of the best neckbeards in baseball and, as someone who can grow an epic neckbeard, real recognizes real.
He needs to just let that thing keep going to ZZ Top lengths. He'll be bigger than Brian Wilson in no time.
The godfather of the beard. It's more manageable now, but there was a reason we used to refer to Damon as The Caveman.
Damon is still alive and kicking in the big leagues, and, ever since he got free of the dreaded Evil Empire, he'll be rocking that beard til the day he hangs up his cleats.