UFC Guessing Game: Pick out the Real Nick Diaz Quotes

Jonathan SnowdenCombat Sports Senior WriterApril 27, 2012

Photo via MMA Weekly
Photo via MMA Weekly

Nick Diaz isn't one of the UFC's most popular and polarizing figures because of his slick tongue. Diaz doesn't have Chael Sonnen's gift for gab. He doesn't spin sweet nothings or entrance you with his elocution like Josh Barnett. His is a physical charisma, built on gestures, obscene or otherwise, mean mugging and generally hilarious anti-social tendencies.

That's what I loved so much about the lawsuit Diaz filed yesterday against the Nevada State Athletic Commission. The lawsuit included a deposition from Diaz that, to put it mildly, didn't sound like something that would ever come out of the fighter's mouth.

How different is the real Diaz from the lawsuit's imagined Diaz? What follows are Diaz quotes, both from press appearances and from this legal document. See if you can determine which is which.

1. The Slap 

I feel that you instigate fights quite a bit...I mean that’s your job but, where I come from, people like that get slapped.

 2. Marijuana

As part of my general practice, I discontinue using medical marijuana eight days before any fight. Consistent with this general practice, I discontinued use of medical marijuana eight days before the February 4, 2012 contest in Nevada. I do not believe that this is a violation of the NSAC’s regulations.

3. Vicodins

What I do is, I fight. So you know, I get on the ball and I do what I gotta do. And it's funny, to come home, to f****** crash out, I don't drink a bunch of—I don't drink a shot of whatever and pop a bunch of Vicodin like everybody else. 

4. Computers

After my last fight I bought one, I have no clue how to work it nor have any intention of chatting on here with you whores.

5. His Hometown

Fighting in Stockton is going to be great for me. Stockton is a great fight town because if you drive long enough on some of these roads you’ll probably see a pretty good street fight.”

6. Fighting GSP

The bottom line is Georges is being a little b****. He didn't step up and say anything when the UFC pulled me out of this fight. I understand sometimes you have to do what you're told, but why wouldn't you tell the media you still want to fight me? If I was Georges, I would want to fight the best. I would have asked for the Anderson Silva fight. I would have asked to fight the Strikeforce champ. But he sits there like a robot and doesn't say anything at all, just like he's not going to say anything about me calling him a b**** now. If I saw B.J. Penn walking down the street and called him a b****, we would be fighting right there on the spot.

7. Fighting Carlos Condit

The summary suspension against me, made without any consideration of the merits of the Complaint, is the only reason I am aware of that a re-match against Mr. Condit has not been scheduled. If the summary suspension is set aside, I would be prepared to compete against Mr. Condit or against any other opponent deemed suitable immediately.