There may be no more entertaining or more head-scratchingly out there to follow on Twitter than Jose Canseco.
Love him or hate him, the man has not played since 2001, and he remains a talking point as he has managed to keep himself relevant despite all signs pointing to the contrary.
Yesterday, his Twitter account was briefly deleted, leading his legion of followers wondering where they would turn for the nonsensical ramblings of a former athlete.
Those fears were quickly quelled, as he returned and with a bang announcing that aliens had deleted his account, picking up right where he left off.
Here is a quick look at some of his better tweets, limited to 140 characters but brimming with ignorance and arrogance and topped off with a heaping spoonful of crazy.
For a short time yesterday, Canseco's Twitter account was nowhere to be found. Upon returning to the Twitter world, this was his explanation as to what had happened.
Quickly scrapping the alien explanation, Canseco admitted to dying overnight, only to return as a vampire.
Not only is this completely ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure the accepted method of turning into a vampire would be being bit by a vampire, but maybe I'm just nitpicking here.
Believe it or not it gets even better. Apparently, sometime between his death and his resurrection as a vampire, Canseco got a chance to rub elbows with a few famous dead celebrities.
He was nice enough to pass along a message from Elvis and "micheal," which I can only assume is Michael Jackson. But it could be Michael Jordan as he has struggled with remembering who is alive and who is not in the past.
After rambling off some nonsense about how to stop global warming, Canseco capped it all off by telling former Vice President and environmental activist Al Gore to rest in peace. Problem being that Gore is very much alive.
That led to this semi-coherent apology tweet:
I'm sure Gore can sleep easy knowing that Canseco "believes in your," and perhaps he'll take his advice to heart and "make some more noise."
Of all the things that the 'roid-popping Canseco would get worked up about losing, who would have guessed it would be his chandeliers?
Also, if he has a landlord, he was apparently living in an apartment. Who in the world bring their own chandeliers with them when they move into an apartment? So many questions, so few answers.
This was a lead-in of sorts to his writing off Al Gore as dead. Canseco's logic was that if global warming were an issue 100 years ago the icebergs would have been melted and there would have been nothing for the ship to hit.
Canseco can certainly make an argument that the Kenny Powers character at least pulls some inspiration from him, down to his roving in the Mexican and Independent Leagues in an attempt to return to the majors.
However, if he does in fact want the producers to contact him, a good starting point might be correctly naming the show, or at the very least correctly spelling the word "East."
Never shy about finding new and creepy ways to turn a buck, Canseco actually offered up the chance to spend the day with him if the price was right. What would you do in a day spent with Canseco?
So not only is he willing to spend the day with stranger for money, but for $1000 Canseco is open for doing anything. Nothing like reeking of desperation.