The All-Motorsport Power Rankings: Week Two

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Look everyone, it's Sebastien Loeb!!

He's not in the rankings this week, but I'm hoping his picture on the cover might make some of the Loeb fans take back their contract hits they ordered for me after last week.

It's a ranking of more silly season nonsense this week, with some interruptions by (incredibly enough) actual racing!

15. Patrick Dempsey

There was going to be something disrespectful about Patrick's Grand-am GT team here.

But he was supporting Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, and I can't disrespect that.

14. Nick Heidfeld

BIG NEWS OF THE WEEK

Heidfeld changes helmet colour from blue...to green.

13. Colin Kolles

Come on, you remember Colin Kolles. The man who failed at Jordan, failed at Midland, failed at Spyker, and was fired by Force India.

Well, now he’s brought some Audi R10s. You remember the Audi R10. The car that won Sebring twice, won Le Mans three times, Petit Le Mans once, and the 2008 European Le Mans series.

No pressure, Colin.

12. Scott Riggs

True to his word Tommy Baldwin signs a driver who can perform multiple roles

Barney Rubble is expected to reprise Flintstones role to be driver and engine for new entry.

11. Petter Solberg

Like so many left redundant by the credit crunch, Petter is re-training to find work (as a sportscar driver).

10. Jimmie Johnson

All that hassle over a broken tail light! Jimmie is now very thankful NASCAR simply has stickers.

9. Mark Webber

So, Mark Webber thinks the new Red Bull car will be beautiful. The pain medication for that broken leg has clearly had some terrible side effects.

8. Mike Conway

Signing for the Dreyer & Reinbold Indycar team, he might just have come out the best from the end of Honda’s F1 effort.

7. Fernando Alonso

Already talking up his chances for the title in 2009, and while we’re on the subject of Renault, here’s the best thing I’ve seen or heard about their new livery.

"The red symbolises the blood of their competitors, the rest of it symbolises their stomach contents."

6. Romain Dumas

Had the transmission failure that ended any challenge for the victory while on a charge for the lead.

Everyone may be listing Penske’s reappearance at the Daytona 24 hours as a failure, but sixth is a pretty good debut for anyone (apparently other The Captain).