Coco Crisp? Chief Kickingstallionsims?: 10 of the Best Names in Sports, Pt. 2
In the first edition of "The 10 Best Names in Sports," I listed 10 of my favorite names in sports. Based on the suggestions I got in response, 10 was clearly not enough.
As such, with lots of credit going to the readers of the first edition, here are 10 more, if not better, names of the sporting world.
Perhaps the most infamous "great" name in sports, this breakfast dessert item, I mean player, was inexplicably left off the first list. His play, however, has left most Red Sox fans wishing they had never known a Coco Crisp outside their pantries.
This obscure Alabama St. Hornet has one of the most improbable last names of all time. I am quite unsure how last names are brought about and decided upon, but there should be some bureau of quality control. The best part is the "sims" that, without explanation, suffixes the somewhat sensible "Kicking Stallions."
Milton Bradley? Like the board game company right? There might be a great naming story around him, including his parents, alcohol, and a night of yahtzee.
It's also fitting he has the same name as the company who originally made and distributed Jenga, as both are disasters waiting to happen.
His name? Original, creative, and unreflective of his performance as a Jets offensive lineman, as he has not been the "brick" he was supposed to be as the fourth pick in the draft.
Long, Longar, Longar, Longast...another great double name from our number one supplier: college basketball.
Insert racy, vulgar joke here: ________. The best thing is "Dick" is not the given name for the Cincinnati Reds pitching coach, but a nickname. Got to have a little better discretion and judgment than that, buddy.
The problem with the Japanese tennis player's name is trying to cheer for him. Go Go? Can you say that?
Pretty sure we know which Longoria Tony Parker prefers...
Between the name and the moustache, I always felt like this guy should have been a creepy clown/con artist, and not one of the great relievers in baseball history.
World B. Free
This NBA player from the '70s and '80s apparently felt the need to express his views so seriously that he extended it to his name.
Also apparently a product of both decades he played basketball in, mixing the hippyness of the 70s with the bad fashion sense of the 80s (as a current employee of the 76ers, he is known for his colorful, flamboyant outfits).