New York Mets pitcher Dillon Gee has been rockin' the goatee since he made his major league debut.
When he joined the Mets, it was your typical everyday goatee. Short, trimmed, ordinary.
When he showed up at spring training this year, the goatee was goat-sized. From a distance, it looked like a small animal crawled onto his chin and died.
When you have facial hair that appears poised to take on a life of its own, it's time to give it a name, especially since it's likely to star in a horror movie called The Goatee That Ate Flushing.
Here are five potentially appropriate nicknames for Gee's hirsute jaw.
Chin up, Dillon. It's all in good fun. It'll also make it easier for the barber when you decide to get that monkey off your face.